I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE VERY VERY NICE TO THE ELDERLY...

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

The title to the movie makes it sound a whole lot more exciting that it really is. If you're expecting massive chills and thrills, don't.

The premise is a bank loan officer who refuses an extension to an old woman named Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver), who's house is about to be foreclosed upon. This is what all banks do, after all. Despite the old woman getting on her knees and groveling, the loan officer (Alison Lohman) is more interested in a promotion than human compassion. Yup, that sounds about right for a bank.


The old woman then does something supposedly unexpected (but of course she had to or the movie would be - over). She puts a curse on Alison. This is something I'm sure lots of people wish they could have done when the banks went cuckoo and decided to fleece their customers, making thousands lose their homes. Okay, enough social commentary.

What follows are various gross-outs that are, admittedly, pretty original and definitely makes you squirm to watch. Her boyfriend (played by Justin Long, a nice enough guy doomed to play the totally ineffective boyfriend in every movie he's in) tries to help her but of course, it's not enough. She's going to hell. 


Seems a disfiguring disease or bad luck would be more in line with a proper 'punishment' (Remember Thinner? Neither do a lot of people.) than going to hell. Tormented forever for doing her job, although she really could have given the woman what she wanted. No wonder a lot of people are Atheists.

Sam Raimi's car, a 1973 Oldsmobile featured in Evil Dead
and just about every other movie he's ever done...

Since this is done by Sam Raimi I'd suggest giving it a spin once, but don't expect a whole lot - this is not the female version of The Evil Dead. The ending is predictable, the supposed 'twist' can be figured out by anyone long before the movie ends, so spare yourself the 90 minutes and just tell yourself to be nice to old ladies - you never know.