Jennifer's Body (2009)
The makers of this film must have thought long and hard - how do we sell the most tickets with this pedestrian movie with a loose script, so-so premise and not a lot of surprises? And, a lot like William Castle they thought of a great gimmick: Get the incredibly gorgeous Megan Fox to star in it and call it Jennifer's Body (because what male - or female for that matter - is going to pass up a chance to see Megan Fox naked?).
BURN! They got you! The problem with this movie's title is that it has nothing to do with the premise of the movie, and you don't get to see but some tantalizing bits of Megan. If you're expecting some great nudity, reel it in kiddo 'cause you're about to get really disappointed.
The movie is narrated by Jennifer's BFF, Needy (Amanda Seyfried who is a beauty herself but they've made her 'movie ugly' especially when shown right next to Megan Fox) as she sits in a psychiatric ward. Okay, the thin premise and silly plot: An indie rock group called Low Shoulder wants to make it big and do it right now. They figure with all the bands out there ('and they're all cute just like us' - whoa fellas reel it in, you're not all that) the only path to fame is through Satan. And they need a virgin sacrifice.
Trying to make herself appear more attractive to the lead singer (like Megan needs help) Jennifer assures them she is although of course that ship sailed years ago. So instead of them being famous and her being dead, they're famous and she is now a demon. Uh huh. Who needs to feed on human flesh to stay pretty - hunger makes her ugly (they really tried to make her look ugly and failed miserably). I would literally chew through metal if it would make me Megan Fox ugly. Really.
Predictably the bodies pile up even as the indie band gets more and more famous. The movie tries to keep interest with little bits of sultry Jennnifer, some not so great CGI effects when she 'changes' to feed, and the BFF with benefits relationship between her and Needy. Not enough unless maybe if you're a teenage boy and the bits and pieces you get to see is enough for you. I think you see more of Needy's body (she's sexually active also) than of Jennifer's.
Needy does research on how to stop and destroy Jennifer (Apparently how to make and break demons is available at your local library if you want to check it out - which is strange because this is 2009, why not the internet? And why make MySpace references? Dunno.). She kills Jennifer, but not before becoming bitten. So, at movie's end when she is finished with her narration, she reveals that the bite has made her demon-like (without the cannibal aspect) and she escapes.
She hitches a ride with a creepy old man (an uncredited cameo by Lance Henrickson - he must have had a free day) and proceeds to slaughter the whole Low Shoulder band, which you see in bits and pieces (sorry, couldn't help that one) as the credits roll.
Jennifer's Body. That was the only stroke of genius about that film. Calling it 'Demon Teenager' probably wouldn't have made near as much money.
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