I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

Outright Rip-Offs of George Romero Movies

Dance Of The Dead (2008)

Okay, to begin with, if you make any movie with ???? Of The Dead, you're basically ripping off George Romero because that's his baby. Call it something else if you're going to claim you actually have an original idea.




AND having the chutzpah (I use that word a lot, it fits) to release it saying that it is "the best horror/comedy of this or any other year" just makes me want to throw things at the screen. I mean really. Are we that vain? Do we have so much faith in a movie that is basically like most other zombie movies that we can claim it to be the absolute best of the best? Really? There are no big names, the acting is so-so, the plot is tired (nuclear waste wakes all the dead just in time for prom), the makeup is passable and the site of zombies springing from graves (must have had powerful springs under there, they really flew) was a small chuckle at best and... you'd have to stretch it just to call it good.

It's not good. The plot: A high school prom in Georgia is unexpectedly interrupted when a graveyard, next to a power plant, explodes with zombies. A grave digger had been hearing sounds and had to 'whack' a head, hand or whatever popped up as he cruised the graveyard but kept quiet to keep his job. The two main character we're supposed to care about are Jimmy (Jared Kusnitz) a pizza delivery boy (Glenn from The Walking Dead is superior in every way to this guy) and a loser. His girlfriend Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick) a hottie that for some unexplained reason likes him busts up with him the night of the prom but in the course of the slow moving events they meet up again. Together with some other idiots (my favorite character name was Nash Rambler. How many are old enough to even know what that is?) they converge on the school for prom figuring out that for some reason every zombie in town is going to show up there. And to keep the movie moving, they're right, I guess.

After fumbling, some of them dying (but we don't care) and a gym teacher's placing C4 explosives around the school (he bought it on Craigslist) the survivors manage to block up and explode the school, supposedly wiping out every student, teacher and zombie in town.

They then meet up in a school bus where they decide to go out for pancakes. Denny's surely doesn't mind it when blood soaked idiots show up for pancakes late at night. They will then go after the power plant (please please please do not mean that there will be a sequel).

The movie ends, and another 90 minutes of your time has just been saved because you didn't have to watch it.