Movies So Bad They Make You Say "What In The Blazes Did I Just Watch?"
Stag Night (2008) Straight To DVD
Okay, this could have also gone under Movies You Watch Because Of Who's In Them because this had Breckin Meyer (Robot Chicken, Titus Maximum, Garfield) and since I've heard his voices but I thought I hadn't 'seen' him act I thought I'd try this. Big mistake. At least this one. Now that I know what he looks like, he's been in much better movies doing much better parts.
Many, many minutes of foul mouthed arguing, running, hiding, more foul mouthed arguing and I'm done with this movie. I'm running it on fast forward. My hubby says 'How are you supposed to know what's happening?' Uh, I've seen this type of movie a ton of times, I could write it - except mine would be a thousand percent better. So they get killed one by one and two are left - one dancer, and the groom. More fights ensue after they find the 'lair' of the cannibals. Despite killing off some of them, the girl gets herself killed and the groom is left alone.
He finally finds a working station, the security guard is opening it up, and he groggily (he's been stabbed too) dials his fiance as he starts up the steps. He tries to talk to her but as he's about to... oops, I guess they didn't count how many cannibals there were too well. The end. Thank goodness.
How many 'cannibals living in the subway' movie can you count? I thought of three and possibly a fourth, I just couldn't quite remember what it was called. Well, take those, put these people in it, and you have the same damn thing. Four guys are in a bar 'celebrating' one's upcoming wedding. It's like after three in the morning and they're drunk and loud and foul mouthed and ready for a fight. It gets them kicked out of a bar so they decided to take the subway to another bar across town. Funny though, they were kicked out for being drunk, but as they enter the subway, they're clearly very sober. In fact through the whole movie. These guys recover quick.
On the subway they see two of the 'dancers' from the bar they were just kicked out of. The prospective grooms douchebag brother (Breckin Meyer) pisses one of them off and she maces all of them. The subway is stopped so they get out to get some fresh air and wipe their eyes. Duh. The subway starts up again, and now all six (I have no idea why the girls got out) are stuck in the tunnel, having no idea where the next subway stop is. So they start hoofing it through the tunnel. Four of them anyway - two stay behind because.. you know. So of course, when the shadowy figures hunt them down, they're the first to go. Apparently these are some sort of cavemen-like cannibals that the other denziens that make their home in the subway have made a truce with - they bang on the rails to tell the cannibals where the fresh meat is, and they get left alone. Duh.
He finally finds a working station, the security guard is opening it up, and he groggily (he's been stabbed too) dials his fiance as he starts up the steps. He tries to talk to her but as he's about to... oops, I guess they didn't count how many cannibals there were too well. The end. Thank goodness.
No comments:
Post a Comment