I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

HIGHER EDUCATION WILL KILL YOU

Red Hook (2009)

This, my darling children, is a warning. You may be interested in this movie since it has no rating, it is newer and is supposed to be a horror movie about college students participating in a scavenger hunt with tragic consequences. YAAAAAWWWWWN. When ordinary people with no reason to do so write a review of their own saying just how much a movie sucks, that's usually a challenge to me. I got halfway through.

Jenny is a freshman in a New York college who basically gets the 'Carrie' treatment. Does she deserve it? This chick has 'VICTIM' tattooed on her forehead in incredibly large letters. As a young girl she witnessed the murder of her older sister. Why this matters, dunno. The actress they use for the grown Carrie - uh I mean Jenny is a mousy, underfed woman who looks like a stiff breeze could blow her down the street. 

She has no personality to speak of, no outstanding characteristics at all. The only guy who'll talk to her is a boy who also lost a sibling (DUH). They are roped into a freshman scavenger hunt with the promise of White Stripes tickets.

Watch this - it's far more 

interesting than this piss of a movie...

Now here's the thing - this is a far as we've gotten into the movie and there's NO HUNT YET. It is over 30 minutes into the movie. That's how much DUH we've had to wade through hoping the movie will start. Finally it does. Slowly. Jenny's new friend doesn't show and doesn't call (GASP!) and she has to start the hunt alone. The others split off into the boroughs of NY to find their objects, we're now 45 minutes into the movie and... sigh, I just can't take anymore. 

Jenny still can't find her partner, the cop who killed her sister's killer is now following her for some unknown reason and the... ya know what? Screw this. If you want to be incredibly bored and endure another hour of this just to see why this was sooooo scary go right ahead. Nobody died (they intimated that maybe one did but you see nothing) and... some movies were just not meant to be seen I guess.

Oh, the IMDB says she has to save her 'boyfriend' from whoever has taken over the scavenger hunt. Uh, one he's not her boyfriend, they've seen each other what, three times? Two.... I just don't care.