Monday, January 28, 2013

SNOOZEFEST: THE FINAL, FINAL CHAPTER






Milo (1998)


This movie was so badly conceived, written, acted and filmed that most of my notes say 'I'M SOOOOO BORED!' This movie wouldn't even MAKE it on the Lifetime channel - this chick and her whimpering for 90 minutes was 89 3/4 minutes too long. And they can't make up their mind - is Milo a permanent child? A demon? A drowned kid his doctor dad brought back as a zombie? A clone (his dad did abortions, lots of raw material)? A combination of all of the above?

Trouble is, even though Milo kills a girl and wounds another, supposedly drowns, then comes back 16 years later to finish off the other four girls in the group he likes (I'd hate to see what he does to people he doesn't), it is so drawn out, whiny, and dull that there was absolutely nothing to write about - except for how boring it is. 

The poster says 'Remember, Jason and Freddy were kids once too.' Yeah, but they grew up... hell one grew up AFTER he was dead so that's pretty talented... they were both interesting psychos. This is just some kid (or little person, bad makeup makes it kind of hard to tell) with a scalpel and a lisp riding a bicycle throughout a dull dull dull movie.



                              

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