The Devil Inside (2012)
Here comes the woman
With the look in her eye
Raised on leather
With flesh on her mind
Words as weapons sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die
...oops, sorry wrong media...
Somewhere in Hollywood, some filmmaker must have looked at his calendar and said out loud (because they do that in movie land) 'Hey! It's been three months and we haven't had a new exorcism movie! Damn, I've got to go get some cheap special effects together! And bad actors! And a scriptwriter who can churn out a movie that's nearly just like every other possession movie made! And we've got to get it to theaters in five days!'
Sarcasm is useless with Hollywood, that's why I'm using it here. If you're expecting a 'fresh' take on the plight of the poor Catholics (no I am NOT picking on them, the movie is) who are possessed by demons, look elsewhere, it's not gonna be here.
Oh sure at first the movie promises some interesting things, like comparing the supposed 'symptoms' of a possession with mental illness, but apparently that was too interesting and they wanted a lot of chicks bending impossibly backwards so here we go and just remember that despite all the disclaimers and the website they publish at the end of the movie THIS IS FICTION. Just wanted to throw that out there:
In 1989 Maria Rossi killed three people. Nastily. She was found not guilty by reason of insanity but for some reason, she's shipped off to Italy. Hmm, I said wonderingly (actually I didn't give a rip). Anyway, her daughter Isabella, now grown, is wondering if her mom was possessed like some people told her or if she is mentally ill. It's a legitimate question, since some mental illnesses are hereditary. But making a whole freaking documentary on the process just glues you to the fact that this is just a movie. And not a very good one at that. She gets two rogue priests who perform exorcisms without consent to help her. It is Batman and Robin.
Just kidding about that, but could you imagine? Tight body armor, ready to fight off them demon critters? Sorry again but this film is just plain... plain. Their 'method' of helping her involves exposing her to the world of underground exorcisms and it's just pathetic. All the demons know her name (duh), all know her past (duh again), and it's obvious these two priests couldn't help anyone get out of a paper bag, much less a demon out of their bodies. If in fact they have one.
I remember the previews to this thing - remember her passing the blind nun (oooh, blind, scary) in the previews? That nun has nothing to do with anything. In the movie that's what she does - gets passed by. Takes about two seconds.
So to sum up: scream scream scream... nothing nothing nothing... nothing nothing nothing... quick effect that's been done to death ooh isn't this scary... nothing nothing nothing... one priest can't take it, tries to drown a baby while baptizing it and then kills himself... nothing nothing nothing... oh, now Isabella's possessed, wow they helped her a lot... nothing nothing nothing.... CAR CRASH. Fin.
The website? It exists if you haven't had your fill of being punk'd. It's www.therossifiles.com . Duh.
Somewhere in Hollywood, some filmmaker must have looked at his calendar and said out loud (because they do that in movie land) 'Hey! It's been three months and we haven't had a new exorcism movie! Damn, I've got to go get some cheap special effects together! And bad actors! And a scriptwriter who can churn out a movie that's nearly just like every other possession movie made! And we've got to get it to theaters in five days!'
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| Hi, I'm Isabella and I'll be boring you for 83 minutes... |
Oh sure at first the movie promises some interesting things, like comparing the supposed 'symptoms' of a possession with mental illness, but apparently that was too interesting and they wanted a lot of chicks bending impossibly backwards so here we go and just remember that despite all the disclaimers and the website they publish at the end of the movie THIS IS FICTION. Just wanted to throw that out there:
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| I thought it'd be cooler than a tramp stamp... |
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| They're both Boy Wonders wishing they were Batman... |
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| Right now you've seen me longer than I'm in this movie... |
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| She's not possessed, she's the Regional Twister champion... |
The website? It exists if you haven't had your fill of being punk'd. It's www.therossifiles.com . Duh.
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