I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

HEY WAIT A BLOODY MINUTE! THEY'VE GOT REAL MAGIC BLANKETS! I THINK SOMEBODY OWES ME SOME ROYALTIES... OH HOLD ON A SECOND - THAT'S REALLY RETARDED - NEVER MIND...

You're Either Flying In Style Or Looking Like A Complete Ass

Check this out movie rule list fans - the 'magic blanket' I keep talking about (You know, the ones you get in the movies so that the audience knows that you're officially 'all right'?) has become a reality for one airline - at least in this human 'exeriment'. And looking at it (and the sheeple using it), I think adding these ridiculous things to horror movies would be HILARIOUS. You see, it's not so people can assume you are 'all right', it TELLS you if they are or not.

This is from a site called The Consumerist and all props go to them for this little tidbit:

British Airways ‘Happiness Blanket’ Makes Passengers Look Like Idiots From The Future
By Chris Morran June 30, 2014

Which gives you more anxiety: Flying across the Atlantic or looking like an extra from Logan’s Run? If you chose the former and you like to fly first class, then British Airways has a “Happiness Blanket” for you to try out. No, the blanket isn’t intended to make you happy. It’s more for the airline to convince itself and others that its First Class amenities aren’t horrible. Kind of like a mood ring, but in blankie form.

BA has apparently been testing the LED-encrusted wool blankets (with Bluetooth-connected headband, because we all love having technology strapped to our heads while we rest) on some flights. The airline says that the device strapped around your noggin “measures the electrical fluctuations in the neurons of the brain, identifying when the wearer is experiencing a feeling of well-being.”

The sensor transmits that info to the fiber optic lighting in the blanket. When the wearer is stressed, the blanket glows red. When relaxed, it’s blue. When you’ve swallowed that entire ziploc baggie of magic mushrooms you forgot to take out of your bag before going to the airport, the blanket turns you into a seven-legged unicorn.

BA’s tests have thus far reached the paradigm-shattering conclusion that passengers’ mood improved while they drank liquor and ate food, finally proving once and for all that people don’t hate to eat and drink. Perhaps BA should be testing out these blankets in Economy class, where passengers would be bumping their head-sensors against each other and spilling subpar meals on their expensive mood blankets.

End Of Article

Mood blankets huh? Can you even IMAGINE strapping some ridiculous freaking ring on your head just so your blankie can tell the flight attendant that your drink wasn't up to par? That you're this close to running screaming up and down the aisles? That you actually have a bomb hidden in the sole of your shoe? Okay, I don't know about last one but this has got to be the most expensive and lame idea of customer comfort since they decided that having a section called 'business class' would be close enough to first class to charge almost the same for much, much less service.

If they cared about the people flying on their airlines they'd be concentrating on things like more comfortable seats, better movies and meals, airline pillows that don't smell like farts, and actually having their flights leave and arrive on time. But I guess the blankie is cheaper.

And notice they 'tested' this ridiculous idea on First Class passengers? I want to see 'em on Economy Class flights - children screaming and wetting their pants, adults pushing each other for the armrests, flights sitting on the tarmac for hours, announcements that turbulence will be 'a little worse than we expected', and that 'today's in-flight movie will be Adam Sandler in Jack And Jill'.

Then I'd bet they'd see red. HA!