I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

Don't You Watch Anything Good?

The expensive and dubious IMAX experience.

New Movies


As a rule I don't go to the theater. The people talking, the sticky floors and little kids whining isn't my idea of a good environment to try to pay attention to a movie that costs way too much in the first place (especially if you're dumb enough to spend $20 on popcorn and a soda). And most everything now is in 3-D or IMAX. I have a real problem with that. One, there are a whole lot of those movies where people as well as critics have grumbled about the extra bucks they spent when the effects just weren't worth it. Two, I have astigmatisms, which means that even with the 3-D glasses or whatever they give you theses days I get horrific headaches just trying to focus on the damn thing. I remember (long ago) when Captain EO was a big attraction at Disneyland. So of course we had to see it. All I remember is constantly moving my head back and forth in a vain attempt to try to see the 'pop out' effect in focus - and yes, I got a ferocious headache.

Ow ow my freaking head... where's the Exedrin?

So I'm a stay-at-home kind of movie watcher. I don't even get Netflix. That means the movies I see and review have either shown on satellite TV, a VHS tape (don't laugh I have a ton of those) or DVD, or the internet. Which means the movies mostly are at least a couple of years old. And a lot of them are REALLY bad - which is why access to them is so easy in the first place. They're probably cheaper to show.


Besides, a bad movie can sometimes be more fun than a good movie. I did see the new and improved Star Trek of 2009. HATED IT. One, for someone who absorbed every episode of the originals (and unfortunately the movies that followed), having the whole history of the Star Trek universe buggered up was... sacrilegious. The planets of the Romulans and Vulcans destroyed? Kirk's father killed just as he was born? Spock and Uhura getting it on? Spock losing his mother? His mother was Winona Ryder? And oh my dear lord I just found this out looking up how to spell her name.... Scotty was Simon Pegg? As in Shaun of the Dead Simon Pegg? Heck, now I'm gonna have to watch that dumb thing again.....

How the hell did I miss Simon Pegg?

So I'm not a big fan of the new movie experience. My hubby wishes I was, he practically has to drag me to see something (Men In Black III was my last - in 2D of course). I just don't want to see all this new.... stuff and write about it. Thousands of other critics are already doing that. I know because I must have read at least 20 different takes on MIB III and they were either hating it or loving it.... no help there.


So if you come here, thank you. You have come to a place where even the worst of movies gets at least one look, dumb movies are called out as they are, and some good ones, some old ones, some foreign ones, even make the cut. Just enjoy the ride.