I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

Movies That Are Blissfully Short

Rammbock (Battering Ram) 

Berlin Undead (2010) German

Is it just me or are the countries of the world taking the basic zombie movie, adding very little in the way of creativity or just plain good ideas and regurgitating them to their own countries, maybe 'cause it's new to them? I dunno... this English dubbed movie comes in at 61 minutes and because of the 'same old same old' scenarios of a zombie apocalypse still seems to be a bit too long. I can't even think of a way to stretch this review out. Telling everything it was about is something you've seen countless times in other movies anyway.

Is this even close to the face of a hero?

We have our dubious hero, Michael showing up at his ex-girlfriend's place in Berlin, hopefully trying for a reconciliation. He finds her door busted open, a plumber inside working on her radiator and he seems awful angry for a plumber. Very VERY angry. He soon loses it, and turns, revealing his zombie self (the main 'trick' to distinguish the zombies in this movie is they have white eyes). He attacks Michael and his own teenage assistant who scramble to block themselves into a safe part of the apartment. In Germany apartment complexes are like they are in England - the building is an open square with a common 'garden' in the middle. They know they need to block the door to the commons or the zombies just barge in and break into different parts of the building. Very claustrophobic. Very much done before. 

Berlin burns... sort of.

We get absolutely no surprises here, it's the same 'pathogen virus spread by bodily fluids' type thing with no clear beginning. The only addition to zombie lore they attempt is that if you are bitten, as long as you stay 'calm', you will not turn. Yeah right. So those with lots and lots of tranquilizers and other pharmaceutical goodies might put off the 'transformation' for a period of time. Or at least, if they don't get mad or upset. I could totally see being completely blase' about a zombie apocalypse, couldn't you? Of course that was sarcastic - there's really nothing else here.

Let's see the boat holds two and there's 1, 2, uh oh...

They do borrow the 'zombies are sensitive to bright light' idea from I believe what was in Children Of The Living Dead (ugh, please don't remind me) but other than that, this has nothing original or interesting to bring to the table. It's just another one of those 'we're all doomed but oh look there's a boat oh wait it only holds two so only two get to survive' types of movies. Michael does find his ex, but she's transformed and by this time he's been bitten so soon so does he. Reunited in death. Fortunately, in this case, they must have recognized a considerable lack of content and keep it at the 61 minutes.

We're young, good looking... that means we live.

The makeup and gore were passable, almost good, just with no real story to back it up it's kind of pointless and could have been used within another movie without losing anything. And that's about it.