Tagline: Pretend You're Somewhere Else. Should have been Pretend You're Watching Something Else. Douchebag college kid reads a book about murders in a locale where the people either helped cover them up or just ignored them. He decides to write a paper about it, and wants to interview the author, with whom he's been trading letters as the guy has no phone or internet (Gasp!). He gathers his douchebag friends to trek up to this lonesome place and we want them dead really, really fast. They don't die fast - the first one takes almost an hour. They piss off the locals, ignore the warnings and try to find the guy. Some 'inbred' in a pig's head comes after them with a knife and we don't care. Big plot point: The author's daughter had been captured by the 'killer' as punishment for the book and he had to lure the kids out there to get her back (?!?). Doesn't matter. He gets killed, the daughter dies, the kids are slaughtered... the last surviving girl (there's always one smart one) gets back to the cafe and is offered help - massive duh since they've pretty much steered them in the path of the killer from the first. She accepts, waits outside, and is butchered by the old woman running the cafe as the locals look on. The end. Now don't you feel enlightened?
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