I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

Life, The Universe And Everything


Trying to keep up on movies for reviews takes a whole lot of time, something I haven't had a lot of lately and I apologize for that. I do have a list of movies for this week, including one that should be just hilarious which was a request from a reader (that will come very soon) but again, time, illness, my cat's illness and just plain everyday circumstances have gotten me a bit behind. I've watched quite a few movies, just none you really want to see a review on. 

I've been seeing how many movies I can find with the word 'paranormal' either in the title or the description and having a ball laughing my butt off! I tell you what, I saw PA2 and couldn't believe people paid money for 1 hour 20 minutes of what was obviously repeated camera views (there were items such as coffee cups that were in the exact same spots night after night) just for a couple of minutes of things moving (duh) and a big BOO! (which was not surprising or scary) at the end. THEN I found PA3... what a massive pile! Just how many movies can you watch of doors sloooowly opening, 'footsteps' sounding above your head and 'AH! What was that?' as some shadow zooms by. Way too funny! I was laughing so hard, mostly at the thought of a theater full of people hiding their eyes... c'mon, really? Paying $12 to $20 (depending on if it was in 3D and you had to have your popcorn, soda and candy) to watch a grown man play 'Bloody Mary' with a child? Really? The only two 'events' in the movie that I thought had any merit - one was CGI'd (and badly) and the other was copied from about oh, a dozen other movies. So nope, no chills here. 




Others have been cheap knock offs of the same exact formula over and over and over... there was even one about 'found footage' (which you know I hate with a passion) at the John Wayne Gacy house. Okay everyone knows who he was. Trouble with this movie (besides that it was moronic) was a few very basic contradictions that didn't help their little story: Gacy was caught and we all know what for (one of his victims name was Voorhees... hmmm) in 1978, tried and convicted in 1980 and executed in 1994. His house was razed to the ground, and a new one built. Okay so this film claims to be from 'found footage' from 2006 - in Gacy's house. Which didn't exist. For a long time. Which fact they printed at the beginning of the film. DUH! And the whole thing follows the exact same damn pattern every one of these movies uses - the first half is mostly setting up equipment, explaining equipment, going around with tape recorders saying ad nauseum 'Is there someone there?' 'Was someone killed here?' Well duh, you say you're in the Gacy house.... c'mon! The regular progression follows, except since they're not trying to say 'based on real events' they exaggerate quite a few things, and of course everybody dies. One funny - they show all the autopsy reports of the idiots at the end. One fellow was near frozen - 80% of his skin was necrotic (dead). But the coroner then says he died of 'hyperthermia' which is is an elevated body temperature - not too cold, too hot. HA!

So yes I've been keeping an eye and ear out for the good stuff to pass on and especially the rotten stuff you really don't want to see (those are more fun anyway) and of course trying to keep up on my The Walking Dead (the way they've been tossing characters aside I may start doing memorial pages for them, seems only fair) and will try to keep my blood pressure down, my kitty's spirits up, and my keyboard clacking away for your amusement. And thank you all - we're almost to 8,000 views and that just blows me away, you guys are just terrific and I'm having a blast - TO ALL THE DUMB MOVIES AND THE STUDIOS WITH THE MONEY TO WASTE TO THROW THEM OUT THERE.....

On a very personal note, there is a certain young man who has several people very worried for him. He was a regular FB contributor and has not been heard from in a month. Now this is kind of the problem with FB. Some friends can really burn you, others become a beacon in your life. This young man is a real beacon and we miss him like crazy. But because we know him only on FB, and not in person and are not really a part of his life, we have no right to try to 'track him down' or interfere with whatever it is that is keeping him away. Young man, and you know who you are, if you see this, know please that your friends are worried, we're trying not to encroach on your privacy or rights, but we would be so thankful and relieved to hear just one word from you.

Live well and carefully friends.