I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

THE GAME: Is This Movie Real Or Is It A Fake?

I thought it would be fun to have a little game for my readers (all two of them) for me to write out the synopsis of a movie, and have you tell me whether this is a  real movie or did I make it up. I will place ONE obvious clue in each to give you a better shot. If you think you know, and don't be shy about it, tell me in the comment box below. Also, if you can think of a good title or think you know the title, type that in too. I will give the results in a week. Good luck... and have some fun.

Who doesn't love motorcycles? Who doesn't love them so much they'd be willing to die for them? What, no takers? You mean no one is willing to die for their bikes? Well, there are a few... take for instance young Tom Latham. Besides creating mayhem in his small town with his biker gang, Tom is a massive psychopath (think Alex from A Clockwork Orange but not as smart). But he knows four things he loves: his bike, his girlfriend, his mom and frogs (in that order). Now mom, being the sensible woman she is together with a butler they somehow can afford, is an occultist who holds seances in her house and worships frogs. Seriously. Little green dudes. Alex's - err I mean Tom's father was also into the freaky deaky black arts. Now Tom's got everything he could possibly want, but something's missing. I know - immortality. Tom doesn't want to ever die. He even calls his gang 'The Living Dead' (without Romero's permission I'm sure). Being in a secret room he's not supposed to know about he hears his mommy saying that making a pact with the devil and then killing yourself with complete belief in him will allow you to come back. That's what happened to daddy, except apparently he didn't believe hard enough. Tom now knows how he can make his dream a reality: If he and his biker friends commit suicide fully believing in the devil, they will come back from the dead and be Born To Be Wild forever.

Tom isn't willing to ask something of his friends he won't do himself (nice guy) so he goes first, splatting gloriously on his bike which everyone thinks is just a suicide. At his funeral, he is buried sitting on the damn bike in full leathers (how the hell are they going to cover that up?). And then... kapow! He comes flying out of his coffin and squeals out of there. He then turns from just a menacing psycho to a full fledge murdering one. Now he asks his fellow psychos to follow him. One by one, they find glorious, spectacular and gory (but totally non-bloody somehow) ways of splatting themselves so they can come back. Of course, some doubt and splat... and stay splatted. The rest become as Tom and now his undead biker gang is now complete. The gang meets at a secret place of standing stones (think Stonehenge) called 'The Seven Witches'. Why? Because the movie said so that's why now shut up. Now terrorizing their little town takes on a whole new flavor, knowing they can destroy and pillage (and now murder most of the townspeople) without fear of dying - again.

But mommy is now having doubts about her zombie son. And Tom wants his girlfriend on his bitch seat (back of the motorcycle). And what ultimate price will Tom and his friends have to pay for their 'gift'? Hmmm.... Well, pillaging and murdering without consequence apparently gets... boring. The gang realizes that it's going to be this way forever. That sucks. But Tom is a psychomaniac and wants it to be truly forever - with his girlfriend, who still doesn't want to die. She confesses that she is actually alive and Tom is understandably miffed at this complete lack of support of his undead lifestyle. It’s off to the Seven Witches where Tom tells her that she either kill herself or the gang will do it for her. It’s basically the 'boy meets girl, boy kills self, boy comes back from dead, boy wants girl to kill self' plot we've all seen before, but you know, with bikers. And frogs. How does it end? Oh, mommy sees the error of her ways, performs a ceremony and the whole gang turns to stone. Really. No joke. Stone dead. For good.

So was this a real movie? Does it sound like one? Do you know the title or think you have a title? Comment below...