Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Monday, January 26, 2015

A MOVIE SO AWFUL I'M GIVING YOU A BREAK AND SHOWING YOU THE ONLY GOOD PART OF IT... WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL MOVIE. YOU'RE WELCOME...






1,2,3... Scream aka End Of The Road (2011)

There is nothing more frustrating (okay, there's a lot of things but this is a pisser too) than seeing a bunch of names attached to a movie that makes you want to see it, just to find out that those people either are in it for a fraction of time, a voice-over, or get killed before the beginning credits stop. This was one of those movies so here's your warning:





This movie is about a couple of guys (cameraman and soundman) who finish up with a film by Robert Picardo and are on their way to Idaho to shoot the first episode of a new reality paranormal series called 'Spirit Seekers' with actual psychic (pffft) Randolph (played by Doug Jones, well-known contortionist and sci fi actor, recently of John Dies At The End). The buildup is supposed to be that, of course, they piss off whatever supernatural force has started this mess in the first place. The punchline is, that it is all a practical joke - played by Robert Picardo. There, you just saved yourself roughly 90 minutes. You're welcome. For a treat, this is the only part of the movie worth watching (and that's stretching it a bit):




video




Oh, and Zack said this himself in this movie, so here you go my fave redheaded Canadian dude, you are now a meme: