Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, April 3, 2014


YouTube Channels And Podcasts

You may need an insulin shot soon...

As I'm nearing my 70,000 readers mark, I am A) Amazed, B) Grateful, and C) A little bit anxious. Let me try to explain that. You see, I am not totally cut off from the world. I know that in the world of computers and Internet, there is this little thing called YouTube. I know that some movie reviewers, certainly much better than I am, have their own websites. And there is this thing that I am still learning about called a podcasts.

Beaten and bloody they STILL look better than me...
So why do I stick with the printed word? Well, for one, I haven't gotten my money's worth out of my new dictation software. If I abandon it now, my husband will never let me go shopping on Amazon again. For another, I don't relish the thought of being a public presence. Let me explain that. 

Think of the type of people that you usually watch on YouTube. Safe to say, that, unless you're watching music videos, you watch other types of YouTube videos for information. That probably includes movie reviews. Now I have seen YouTube movie reviews where people sit in their chairs, stare at their little cameras set on their computers, and proceed to flash a DVD at you and tell you why you should or shouldn't watch it.

Seriously, don't you want to punch this kid square in the face?
I don't think I'm ready to do that. Number one, I am not 18 and pretty. Actually, I was never 18 and pretty. Okay, I was 18 once, but not pretty. And I certainly haven't improved with age. Now I'm not saying that people who look normal aren't worth anything, because I do look normal and I am not worthless. I'm not saying normal people shouldn't be on visual media, I'm just saying that I shouldn't be on visual media. The written word is probably a real good place for me to stay.

Even putting an audio review up, wherever those are put and I don't know where that is at this time, would mean that my audience would have to sit and listen to me. Now it's one thing to listen to me for about five minutes. It's another thing to listen to me for the time it takes for me to read a full review of a movie. I imagine that my readership would drop like lemmings off a cliff.

Actually, the concept of lemmings committing suicide is an invention of Walt Disney. No, seriously. Look it up. Point being, when I type up a review. I am listening to my notes that I now put on a tape recorder. That means I have to listen to my own voice for the length of time it takes me to put together a movie review. I must confess that there are many times when I am glad that my recorder has a fast button on it, which means that I can speed it up and get it over with so I don't have to listen to myself anymore.

So if I can't stand my voice, how can I expect others to sit and listen to me? And when it comes to video media, it would be even worse. Now I'm not going to go on about body image, I'm not to go on about how the media treats those who were not beautiful, I'm not even going to go on about how judgmental people can be of one's knowledge and ability, depending upon what they think about their appearance. Whoops, I just did, didn't I?

When I first started my blog on Google, I was still hitting Facebook pretty hard. I still use Facebook, just not nearly as much as I used to. I am hoping to get rid of it altogether. Trouble with that is, there are still millions that do not feel this way. Yet. And so I am double timing between Google and Facebook. But that wasn't my point. 

AND I hate it when they mess with my stuff...
My point was, Google has told me, as I'm sure they have to every subscriber, that I now have my own YouTube channel. With my name on it. Now it's not activated, because of course I haven't put anything up, but if I choose to it's there. Just that thought scares the hell out of me.

I don't have a camera on my computer. There are myriads of reasons for that, but I won't go into that right now. The reason why I have never, and I mean never used my actual visage on any of my accounts - or any of my family for that matter, whether Google or Facebook, is both for security and because I like celebrity pictures much better. The most personal picture I have ever shared with the public is probably of my cats.

And so, dear readers, all 70,000 of you (and thank you so very much for that), will have to settle for just reading for the time being. Each day I get older, each day people around me seemed to be getting younger, and those two factors will probably mean that unless I get some major plastic surgery that makes me look like somebody totally different (and I mean somebody who is not me), it is very doubtful that I will ever have a YouTube channel activated.

Not unless you don't mind watching 15 minutes (or more) of the front of a DVD cover while somebody drones on and on about what it's about. Nah, I didn't think so.