Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'HELLO KITTY' IS NOT A CAT? SHE'S GOT POINTY EARS, SHE'S GOT WHISKERS, HER FREAKING NAME IS 'KITTY'! WHAT KIND OF MIND SCREW IS THIS?





Are You Distracted Yet?

Okay, confession. Yesterday I was working on a review of a very non-movie called Apollo 18. I hate movies that make me feel claustrophobic - this one just made me very, very sleepy. Anywho, despite the temperature rising and falling in and out of triple digits and the fact that I haven't been very prolific as of late, I was determined to get this review out and running. I'm taking notes - just short ones 'cause, like I said, this is a non-movie and I didn't think I needed to drag out my dictation software for that.


This was a familiar pain too...
Then a familiar pain began. You are probably more than familiar with my whining when I had an infection in my right arm that rendered the whole thing pretty much useless. Well, just for fun, this time it appears that my left arm is now going to be out of commission for a while. AND I'm left handed so... what?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'HELLO KITTY' IS NOT A KITTY!!!

And with that short distraction comes a statement from the company that created her asserting that she was NEVER a kitty but 'a happy little girl with a heart of gold'. HELLO KITTY IS A HOOKER???

Woof. Either the pain meds are kicking in or I need some serious therapy. Probably both. In either case (or both), I'm not going to be doing my review until I am in a little less pain and my dictating equipment is going to get some heavy use for the next, oh, let's say a couple of months. Dammit.

Enjoy whatever life has to offer you 'cause it's a bitch and will bite you in the ass when you're not looking. Yup, the pain pills are definitely... umm... they're.... <mumbles, shuffles off to bed>...