Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, April 23, 2015


Antisocial (2013) Canada

Oh boy. Another movie about the possible mental effects of social media. <YAWN>

This Canadian walk-through is about an unscrupulous company that runs a mass media program called Social Redroom (looking at you Zuck). Don't expect non-stop excitement, I mean they used the last picture at the end of the movie as their poster - what does that tell ya?

This Facebook-like program has been experimenting with updates to increase the number of posts and people who join. Apparently they DON'T kick off people just because their name sounds funny (looking at you again Zuck). 

But oh my, their updates have been getting more and more intrusive on the personal lives of their users (still looking at you Zuck... ah hell, you're ugly - I can think of much better looking men to stare at). Finally it comes to a point where they make a big whoopsy, and those who use their program become bleeding, nasty, violent killers (still looking at... uh... Eric Balfour - sorry Eric).

This is in the vein of several movies in several different countries giving us warning signals that hey, maybe we shouldn't depend so much on social media, put down our phones and just TALK to each other. Too much?

Let's just get this weirdo non-action film over with. Ya got your teens (pushing 30 no doubt) in college and they're all on Redroom - whether it's the smartphones they cart around or both the phones AND the laptops (still looking at... the ground 'cause Eric shouldn't have to appear so much in movie reviews he didn't even star in). Our main girl, who's pregnant (Canada seems as lax with birth control as the US) just got dumped, by text, by her boyfriend.

But hey, it's New Year's Eve and they're having a party and convince her to come. We end up with the requisite five or six people, now let the action begin! I SAID let the action begin! I SAID... never mind. If you want a movie with almost no action but is a lot smarter, may I suggest you watch Pontypool (2008)?

Sam (Michelle Mylett), the aforementioned pregnant reject goes to the party and is there when things go awry. I would say go apeshit but any action is 'reported' on their TV which is always on (At a party?) or by others online so... yeah.

Those who use Redroom (I keep wanting to say Redrum - maybe I've got 'the electronic virus' - oh no, that's right, no more Facebook for me 'cause my name sounds funny, thanks Z - what was your name again?) first get nosebleeds and also blood comes out of their ears. It is explained that the 'update' stimulates a part of the frontal lobe, actually forming a growth that eventually will cause their heads to explode. No, we don't get any Scanner-type action, just a hole goes poof from their heads and this bloody tendril comes out.

Somehow after death those who got the 'bug' and died of it still continue to 'post' pictures of what their dead eyes see. Duh. And the Social Redroom dude did all this on purpose. Duh again - and watch it Zuck.

So after waiting an interminable amount of time, Sam is pretty much on her own and gets to perform self-surgery with a drill. Fun! Afterward she wakes up to a day where the affected have all died from the extra brain tissue exploding their heads. But now they're undead and they're telepathically linked. Uh-oh.

There's a sequel to, I guess, see what these linked zombies do, but I don't have much interest to find out. And that's all I have to say about that.