Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Friday, September 6, 2013


Glorious Things To Come (I Hope) And Thank You Clive Barker For The Great Lines

The trouble with people suffering from fibromyalgia is that they're either incapacitated and suffering, or they're moving very slowly and suffering. I myself am always in flux between the two. My friend Tim says I should type everything in and then release one a day - I've seen other sites do that (in fact I've seen some called something like 'A Horror Film A Day') but unfortunately, fibro doesn't work like that. If I don't get it down and published when I can, it just sits there for days until I have the strength (and the painkillers) to allow me to publish some more.

So dear readers I am far from neglecting you - in fact I think of and appreciate you reading my humble opinions of halfway decent down to outright garbage movie companies pass for horror. But I have some good things coming up that promise for a halfway decent fall.

No, I still am not that interested in 'new' horror films (which, be honest, are just the regurgitated ideas of great writers being stolen, rebooted and splatted on the big screen at the cost of your hard-earned dollars) but still like the less-than-Academy Award worthy movies that smaller, independent filmmakers come out with. And the classics. Let's please not forget the classics.

Having discovered a plethora of goodies on Amazon (bundled conveniently in packages so I don't have to have thousands of small DVD boxes) I plan to have a great time discovering horror from the 40's clear through the 90's and some of them will probably be pretty good. At least I'm hoping.

I also thought I'd do a (small) Jackie Chan movie marathon - not much in the way of horror, but he did appear in a couple of off the wall movies (I am NOT talking about the Rush Hour movies, which even Jackie hates) where both his skill and comedy worked well within a kind-of-horror type movie.

What I didn't know about Mr. Chan is that since the 60's he has appeared in over 150 films - many of them uncredited. How hard do you want to work to appear in that many movies and receive no credit? It is an example of the kind of man he is - not perfect by a long shot but certainly talented and inexhaustible. As a child he was nicknamed 'Cannonball' because he could never be kept still. 

Did you know he was in two Bruce Lee movies? Did you know he patterned his fighting style to be the OPPOSITE of Bruce Lee? Wherever Bruce made a stance with arms apart and loose, Jackie would tighten his up and keep them close to his body... in other words, he didn't try to copy his hero, just the opposite. He developed a Jackie Chan style of fighting.

His style of comedy, mixed with the insistence of doing all his own stunts makes almost everything he's in enjoyable. I was thinking of one movie (which I will watch again and make part of the marathon) which wasn't about him at all - it's a vampire movie and he has maybe 5 to 10 minutes of screen time. But when I tried to remember the film, all I could remember was his brief part and had to look through his filmography to find it (The Vampire Effect, in case you wanna see it).

So with that being said and my fingers swiftly becoming useless because, well, that's what fibro is, I'll sign off for now with another thank you for reading my blog, promises of some pretty interesting movie reviews in a bit and if any of you are fellow sufferers of fibro, sit back, relax and don't try so hard to be the 'normal' person most expect us to be... you are you and no matter how much or how little you can move, you are still precious.