Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


The Joys Of Being On Facebook

I'm just kidding with the title guys. I thought it would be an attention grabber. I don't get many negative comments on my reviews so one or two isn't going to send me anywhere near the edge of insanity. What HAS been driving me nuts recently are my experiences on good ole' Facebook.

There was a study that said teenagers no longer use Facebook. This was a very detailed, scientific study. Nah, that's a bunch of crap. It was ONE reporter asking roughly 20-30 students in a school in England. Hardly a comprehensive analysis of the future of Facebook. However, the blind, deaf and dumb (and put extra emphasis on the DUMB) people who police FB have been making some pretty dumbass decisions lately. 

What is okay to display one day is wrong the next, what's okay for one person gets another person banned... it makes you wonder - is there anybody human at the FB switchboard? 'Cause if you get in a bind because, oh, say you said you wanted to murder your husband for dropping and breaking your favorite glass and they took you literally and you find yourself locked out of your account, there's really no one to go to. 

Oh they SAY there is a place to plead for mercy on the blood of your firstborn, but I've yet to speak to anyone to whom that's worked - no matter who you are - from us nobodies to the rich and famous.

These are the same people that banned a picture of a woman who had gone through a double mastectomy and was able to visit a special tattoo artist who is making life a little more beautiful for these women by designing tattoos for their torsos. Makes me wish to get one just because. One was of a woman whose beautiful tattoo looked like she was wearing a very colorful sports bra. It was banned because it was 'nudity'. Uh huh. This from the same people who figured a video of a decapitation was okay.

I've seen posters of some truly disgusting things on Facebook. Good taste, manners and respect have gone right out the window and good ole' FB is right there giving them their 'right' to be heard. Then we have Christopher Titus. If that name sounds familiar, it's because this is a very funny man who has used comedy instead of bitching to get himself through a hell of a life. He does stand-up, he's had his own TV show (on Fox and it was good so it was mandatory that they cancel it) and is in the process of trying to make a movie.

Now, while you can put up posters talking about oral sex, killing or maiming Obama (or anyone else in the world for that matter) and support any -ism there is even if 98 percent of the world think it's disgusting, Titus has found one thing that Facebook absolutely will not stand for: handicapped people.

Does Titus hate or even make fun of the handicapped? No. In fact, this is what he says about the word 'retarded': "IN MY LIFE whenever I've used the word retard never once have I thought of someone with MS or CP or Down's or Autism... that is just disabled. BUT... if you have everything working perfectly, you have all of your (mental) faculties about you but you end up addicted to crystal meth and living under a bridge, you're... retarded."

So what's he trying to do that's got FB so torqued? He is currently working on a movie that features disabled people working as police officers (many are his friends and some have toured with him across the country). People have been outraged that he would 'exploit' the disabled which is so, so wrong, but those who are disabled have been speaking out on how they need to be treated with respect and he is doing that by giving them a chance for roles they'd never have otherwise because it's not considered "PC".  

So did he get to plead for mercy? Nope. Whenever he posts something about it, we read it quick 'cause we know it'll probably be gone soon. So here's his pitch: Hey, I could really use some help to fund this movie. Trying to do it without any studio trying to soften it or tone it down. It's called SPECIAL UNIT. Due to the fairness in disabilities act the LAPD has to hire four handicapped undercover detectives. 

Josh Blue, Michael Aronin, Brad Williams are all in it. We are using really funny DISABLED actors in this movie. I play an asshole cop. Like Nick Nolte in 48 Hours except without the heart. If just our podcast listeners would kick in a $20 we could make it. Script is written, budget is done. I have never let you down when it comes to funny. Help us fund it. indiegogo special unit the movie. Thanks - TITUS

The site for donations can be found at: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/special-unit-the-movie

Lately I've been signing in first on my main account (no I'm NOT telling you how many I have) because several times a week I get the 'you are temporarily locked out of your account because we're dumbasses and we figure that you'll just do what we say ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...  Okay, what it says is that I'm signing in from a new location or device they 'don't recognize'.

For your information FB it's none of your goddamn business where I sign in from. It is also NOT your business if I buy a new computer or how many I use. But, because there is no one to plead to, I go through the stupid security checkpoints, feeling like I'm sneaking around a foreign country or something, until it finally lets me in. If I had to do this from one of my (ahem) other accounts, I'd probably be dead in the water.

Oh and Facebook, again for your freaking information, I haven't moved (from this location, not this chair) for twelve freaking years and have had this freaking computer for over a year, okay? I DON'T CARE if you don't 'recognize' me, you're NOT getting my cell phone number, SO SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Oops, sorry about that - a little pent up frustration. For something totally random, did you know they've now got an app that will turn your monitor into a mirror? For an extra hundred bucks you can have a genie answer you when you say, "Magic mirror on my computer, who is the most gullible consumer of all?"

Anyway... so what if people DO start to leave FB like rats off a sinking ship? <looks around> oh yeah, that's right - there's Google +. This place hasn't exactly taken off like a rocket ship, but it does have its charms. For me Twitter is out - one I don't have a smartphone and two I do NOT want to know every freaking second of my friend's lives. Hell, I don't have any friends. Or family. I'm not complaining about that part by the way.

There have been a plethora of social sites that have been trying to catch on, some advertising hard, others just seem to show up. Some I've heard of (that's not an endorsement, just names I recognize) are Myspace, LinkedIn, Foursquare, Blogster, Buzznet, Flickr, Tumblr, Pinterest... 

I of course know absolutely nothing about any of those sites, sorry. I barely know FB and only know of Google + and its' blog capabilities thanks to a (much younger) friend. The rest is a bunch of whippersnappers passing this old lady by like a jet. 

Oh well, let the world pass me by - it just means less messages to not answer and less comments on my posts that I have to 'Like'. <pulls shawl tighter around shoulders>