I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND.. THE LAW WON... FOR NOW...

Alas, Playing Both The Race And The Pity Cards Were Of No Use

Oh my faithful followers the Zuck muck runs deep in Facebook Land. Despite his, ahem, confrontations with both the LGBT and the Native American communities and class action suits being brought against them by both groups because of it, the Name Game continues to be a thorn in the paw of many a roaring lion.

As was mentioned before VERY LOUDLY, I apparently have been permanently banned from Facebook because I don't breathe air, I've never driven a car, I've never bought groceries or shopped online. I am a spectre - floating through the internet, maliciously making a Facebook account and haunting it for YEARS before the good people who are just protecting YOU from people like ME thought my name looked odd and kicked me out.

Oh, the solution is simple. You just give away all your personal information because a caring place like Facebook surely would keep your private stuff safe, right? Wanna know what they'll take? Here ya go:

Too much? Don't worry my babies, you have other options if you wanna party with the Zuck:

What? Your yearbook is in the attic somewhere, your social security card is in the bottom of some file and you don't have a credit card? Hey, the Zuck says no prob bros and hoes, just follow option 3:

Don't want to have any of that information flying around a telephone line, cable line, wi fi, satellite, or other means of data snatching? Tough shit. That means you are no longer part of the exclusive club that is Facebook. Like me - it's a matter of principle now. 

Facebook claims THEY didn't delete me - a member reported me and they "verified" it. How exactly? Did they throw a dart at a board of names and it pierced mine?

It's times like this that you can Google yourself without shame 'cause you're doing it to make a point (*cough cough*). My name has eight letters and a space. I'd tell you how much time it takes to type that in but my watch doesn't measure micro-seconds.

Awww, don't look so down my children. If you've ever Googled yourself, your shame is private and nobody has to know. But as for me...

Sigh. Having a horrible habit that has plagued me all my life of sticking my neck out just to have it chopped off trying to 'do the right thing', I sent out letters to television stations. Yes, I am a card carrying Native American. No I DON'T have to explain why my last name isn't something like Running Bear, or Lone Wolf, or What Does The Fox Say?... sorry, that last one is an abomination of a song that... never mind.

Oh yeah, I stuck my neck out. Stretched it right on that chopping block, talking to a nice lady, trying to sound coherent and realizing I'm failing at it badly. It was obvious she was going for either an another-Native-American-gets-booted angle or a-poor-sick-shut-in-loses-a-major-means-of-communication angle. Or maybe she was just looking for her story to get over and done quick so she could get away from the crazy lady.

I'll spare you the actual interview (I look like Jabba The Hut in a green sweater and wild red hair) but here's the article on their website:

Woman claims Facebook locked her out because of Native American name

By Shellie Bailey-Shah, KATU Problem Solver Published: Mar 19, 2015 at 5:10 PM PDT

(AP Photo/dapd, Timur Emek)

MOSIER, Ore. -- A local woman logged onto Facebook only to find that she'd been locked out, she believes, because of the nature of her name.

Shoy Mohr is a shut-in, living in the quiet town of Mosier. She agreed to leave her home briefly to meet with KATU Problem Solver Shellie Bailey-Shah.

Mohr is also a card-carrying member of the Cherokee Nation, and up until Monday, she was a member of the Facebook community.    

Her account was disabled because Facebook isn't sure "Shoy Mohr" is a real person.

A look online reveals other Native Americans with the same issue: Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney, Bobby Kat LittleCub, Little White Wolf, Summer Lightfeather and Donna GhostBear. All of them write they were flagged for having possible fake names on Facebook.

"I am preparing to sue Facebook for racial profiling which is in violation of our Constitutional rights and our human and civil rights, as well," Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney said in a video posted onYouTube.

There's even an online petition with more than 4,000 signatures, asking Facebook to change its policy.

A Facebook spokesman told the Problem Solvers the site doesn't target its users; other users report names that they suspect aren't authentic and then Facebook verifies.

The spokesman gave the Problem Solvers this statement:

"We are committed to ensuring that all members of the Facebook community can use the names that they use in real life. Having people use their authentic names makes them more accountable and also helps us root out accounts created for malicious purposes, like harassment, fraud, impersonation, and hate speech. Over the last several months, we've made some significant improvements in the implementation of this standard, including enhancing the overall experience and expanding the options available for verifying an authentic name. We have more work to do, and our teams will continue to prioritize these improvements." 

To verify her identity, Facebook asked Mohr to provide a .jpeg of a government-issued form of identification, such as her driver's license. 

So why not turn over the license?

"I don't know what they'll do with it," Mohr said. "I don't trust them. It could go anywhere on the internet."

A Facebook spokeman said any documentation is destroyed after verification, and it won't back down from requiring it -- Mohr will either have to prove her identity or give up her window to the world.

Facebook has added to the list of documentation that it will accept. Click here for more information. 

Psst... you don't have to click my lovely readers, it just takes you to the long three-part list I put on my blog above. There are documents on that freaking thing that I wouldn't even give to my best friend (assuming I had one) or even my relatives. And yet there I was, wild hair trying to escape in the breeze, my many chins fighting for dominance while I was wondering what the hell I was doing to myself. I have NEVER put a real picture of myself online and here I am appearing in a newscast. How dumb is that?

When it became clear that I really wasn't going to get anywhere I changed tactics, telling the very nice lady that I wanted people to know this is still happening. And not just to me, so I'm not paranoid. That apparently worked, at least to a small degree.

Although the news crew was very nice and professional, they clearly decided the race card was the hand they were going to present - all for naught. I have to tell you that I'm kind of suspicious of the 'representative' part of the story, since it copies almost word for word what you find if you're willing to wade through page after page of so-called Facebook "help".

But denied I was and denied I shall stay. Ya know there was a time when I would have panic attacks when the power went out or the internet connection wasn't working properly - I felt I was going to miss something important from the great Zuck and the Facebook world.

This time? I would laugh but I might pee myself. Why would I want to use a 'service' that so obviously enjoys making and breaking its own rules at will, whose spokespeople lie outright (if Facebook 'verified' I was a fake person, the woman who carried me in her womb is in for a nasty surprise). This is NOT a campaign to get people to quit hangin' out with the Zuck. I know how it can be to want to be part of the 'community' so badly that even small interruptions can be very upsetting. 

But you know what? It's March 20, 2015, and I am a very real woman stating to you, my faithful readers, that the loss of that particular service just may do me a lot of good. I've got a lot of books (and comics) to catch up on, and hey, I might find something good on TV... umm, actually I think I'll stick to reading.

I am fine (if not possessing a 'camera friendly' face) from appearing (briefly, thank you God) on TV and I will continue to be fine and not bow to the false idol that is Facebook - and very damned sure I'm not going to give them information they have absolutely no right asking for as it was NOT part of the sign-up agreement.

As for Google+? Hey, it's free, it's easy to use - if a bit lonesome but who knows, it may soon be known as party central if special 'groups' who are being targeted by Zuck decide to take their socializing elsewhere. Assuming, of course, that the whole computer world isn't completely sucked into the Twitter vortex.

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