Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Saturday, March 21, 2015


My Story Doesn't Catch Fire But There Are A Few Embers

Leave it to Miss Murder to be one of the few where, when they ask for help from television news stations that "solve problems" I instead only get really, really embarrassed. BUT I do get to Google myself. Now for some reason, looking up my name does NOT bring up the original story (you have to Google the town for some reason) but I did find TWO other sites that picked up the story in... umm... actually I don't know where the hell they come from or why they included it.

But they did and since I no longer am playing Duck, Duck, Goose with the Zuck I thought I'd include them before I sink back into the depths of obscurity:

The following article is from a website named Barstool Sports:

Native Americans Keep Getting Kicked Off Facebook Because Their Names Sound Fake

Source – A local woman logged onto Facebook only to find that she’d been locked out, she believes, because of the nature of her name. Shoy Mohr is a shut-in, living in the quiet town of Mosier. Mohr is also a card-carrying member of the Cherokee Nation, and up until Monday, she was a member of the Facebook community. Her account was disabled because Facebook isn’t sure “Shoy Mohr” is a real person.

A look online reveals other Native Americans with the same issue: Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney, Bobby Kat LittleCub, Little White Wolf, Summer Lightfeather and Donna GhostBear. All of them write they were flagged for having possible fake names on Facebook. “I am preparing to sue Facebook for racial profiling which is in violation of our Constitutional rights and our human and civil rights, as well,” Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney said in a video posted on YouTube.

To verify her identity, Facebook asked Mohr to provide a .jpeg of a government-issued form of identification, such as her driver’s license. So why not turn over the license? “I don’t know what they’ll do with it,” Mohr said. “I don’t trust them. It could go anywhere on the internet.” A Facebook spokeman said any documentation is destroyed after verification, and it won’t back down from requiring it — Mohr will either have to prove her identity or give up her window to the world.

To be perfectly fair to Facebook here, every single one of these names sounds like something a rich white person would change their name to online before heading to Burning Man. I bet Bobby Kat LittleCub makes the best tie dye t-shirts and can cook up a killer grilled cheese sandwich. Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney probably LOVES trance music and always has the best acid. Little White Wolf thinks he/she/it’s a pansexual unicorn. That basic bitch, Summer Lightfeather buys pasties and body paint in bulk. And Donna Ghostbear sucks a mean dick if you make her a decent grilled cheese. Looking at you, Bobby. After two weeks in the desert they probably all head back to their real estate office in Portland and talk shop around the mayonnaise dispenser in the break room. What a crew. Totally understandable for Facebook to question if those are their real names.

On the other hand, I’m Facebook friends with a dog who’s listed college is Dogus U and a guy named Lil Skippy. So maybe asking for a government issued ID from a Native American who’s named Shoy Mohr isn’t the best PR move for ole Zuckerberg.

(Hate to spoil your childhood memories kids - 
but "Iron Eyes" Cody was 100% Italian. - Miss Murder)

After reading that article I must admit I was a bit relieved not to have been made fun of, but felt bad for the rest who were, for some reason, connected with Portland (Thanks a lot Portlandia!). But, since the whole article seemed to be steeped in sarcasm, they shouldn't feel too bad either. I read what reader comments were available at the time and the only one towards me was saying that yeah, giving FB any kind of information by force was sure to be stored in their databases... not exactly a win, more like a meh.

The next comes from a website called Popist.com and was a little more... ehhh... can I say insulting? Not toward me (so far I've been spared trolls but I'm sure they're coming) but... <sob> here I'm described as "an old lady from Oregon" <pauses to drink Ensure and yell at the cats for no reason>

Facebook Locking Native American Accounts Because Of Their ‘Fake Names’ Policy

James B. Barnes

If your name is John Smith or Jane Doe, you’ll likely have no trouble maintaining a Facebook account. Likewise if it’s Abdul al-Awlaki, Jerome or Lakeisha Wilson, Jimmy Dean or Johnny Walker. But if your name is Shoy Mohr or Shane Creepingbear you’ll get shut out of your account and may be asked to provide a scanned photo id just to prove that your real name is your real name.

Such is the case for what seems to be an increasing number of Native Americans who signed up for Facebook using their real, legal, given names. Recently an old woman in Oregon by the name of Shoy Mohr had her account locked and when she asked why she was told “Her account was disabled because Facebook isn’t sure “Shoy Mohr” is a real person.”

That response raises a number of questions about what a “real” Facebook name looks like. I don’t think anyone would doubt that a European, Arab, Asian, or African name would have been left alone even if it wasn’t the account creators real name at all. I’ve known plenty of people with fake Facebook accounts under common sounding names. Indeed, I’d warrant that most of the fake names out there sound “real” so why does Facebook’s algorithm single out Native American names for extra scrutiny when it’s easier to fake it with a more common type of name?

Here’s how one man says he found out his name wasn’t “real” according to Facebook.

Shane Creepingbear, 32, says he was removed from Facebook several years ago and went through the steps to convince the company that Creepingbear is actually his last name.

“The policy is arbitrary and irrelevant,” he said in an interview with Yahoo News. “I want Facebook to do some self-reflection or acknowledge how they’ve marginalized people.”

Creepingbear, of the Kiowa Tribe of Oklahoma, said he was booted from the social network again last year, coincidentally on Columbus Day/Indigenous Peoples’ Day.

It’s no wonder that Native Americans are upset enough about this to set up a petition site to pressure Facebook to change their policy (now standing at 20,000 signatures). The rejection of Native American names has a brutal history harkening back to a time when Native American children were sent off to Native only boarding schools and given new, White names in an attempt at forced assimilation and re-education.

For Facebook’s part, when this issue was first reported by Yahoo News in February, a Facebook spokesperson said the issue was being fixed and defended the company’s “fake names” policy. This was after complaints spanning nearly a year.

“We are committed to ensuring that all members of the Facebook community can use the authentic names that they use in real life. Having people use their authentic names makes them more accountable, and also helps us root out accounts created for malicious purposes, like harassment, fraud, impersonation and hate speech.”

Facebook also allows affected persons to get their accounts back by providing a legal photo ID, something unnecessary for any other person with a non-Native sounding name. This option was offered to Shoy Mohr who declined to take part.

“I don’t know what they’ll do with it,” Mohr said. “I don’t trust them. It could go anywhere on the internet.” 

So as far as this story goes, I'll keep collecting articles if they pick up my story but I could have two or two million and it wouldn't do any difference. Why? If you even pay the slightest of attention, you'd notice that in every one of these articles, no matter how old or new, the "spokesperson" of Facebook spouts the same rhetoric practically word for word from pages you can find yourself in the great maze they call their 'help' pages.

In other words, no one's saying anything. And nothing is being done. Or will change. Or will have made my horrific five seconds in front of a TV camera worth it and not a constant source of nightmares.

Besides, locally? I'm being beaten for air time by the same freaking thing that got way more 'likes' on their page than my horror page - by a CARPET!

Yes, Portland (sorry Portlandia, mea culpa) has just announced the Grand Marshal of the Starlight Parade for 2015 is going to be the friggin' airport carpet that's being replaced - I'm going to bed now.

#facebookdiscriminatesagainstnativeamericans #facebookbansrealpeople #facebookclosesaccounts#bannedfromfacebook #facebookwantsyourdriverslicense #facebookviolatestheirownpolicies#facebook #facebookshunspeople #racist #facebooksucks