Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Monday, March 24, 2014

WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR MOVIES YOU LAZY GEEZER???




They're Coming, They're Coming

Before I start my movie reviews, I thought I'd mention a few things that I am now using, to try to make this easier on my fibro-affected fingers. Now I dictated several paragraphs explaining how I use my note recorder instead of taking notes by hand and my new Dragon dictating program instead of typing.

Unfortunately, I'm still kind of new at this. I had all this information set up, and I promptly lost it. So you are now reading my second attempt to tell you how much more convenient this is. You may laugh now, if you wish.



I've gone on and on about fibro and how it affects my physical abilities. These new toys of mine help me get my reviews done without having to spend the rest of my time soaking my hands in ice, or keeping them in a heating pad in order to reduce the swelling. Unfortunately, this means that things are actually going slower. Things are more convenient, but they are slower. Why?

Well, in my heyday, which is old people language for when I was a spring chicken, wait a minute, that's old people language for when I was a young, healthy person, I could type up to 70 words per minute. I can still type almost that speed now. However, if I choose to go that route, I can look forward to weeks of not being able to do much of anything at all with my hands. So it's either speed, or keeping my hands available for limited use doing other things.




If you know this guy, you're at least as old as me...
I'm not complaining much mind you. I'm complaining a lot. However, even with things going slower than I'd like them to, my hands feel a hell of a lot better. Even if this program is kind of driving me nuts. That's not its' fault. That's mine. I am a mush mouth. I do not enunciate my words worth a damn. I especially found this to be true when I took their training course to try to get this program to understand how I speak and the cadence I use.



What's kind of funny is that the lesson I chose at first was from a Dilbert book on business practices. My chest got kind of tight as I read the advice given to us lowly workers, as it pretty much summed up my entire life working for the Man. And still the accuracy was not what I wanted it to be. So I tried the lesson again to continue to train this program to recognize how I speak.




This selection was from one of Dave Barry's books. In it, he was describing going to a software conference. He was explaining how stupid computers and software actually are. They only do what they are told to do, and only know things they are told to know. That was not reassuring to me, since I myself was now trying to teach software about my speaking habits. But it was kind of funny, because it was a bit dated. The conference he was attending was for the unveiling of a brand-new wonderful program: Windows 95.

So you know by now approximately how old this book selection was. What was interesting, however, is that all his talk about some day computers talking to us or texting to us was somehow prophetic. He also spoke of the future when we would be talking to our computers. And that is exactly what I was doing. Talking to a stupid machine, and trying to get it to understand me. Or, at least spell words correctly.



I have a whole page of movies to put up on my blog and I will start with a halfway decent entry from a novel by Dean Koontz called Odd Thomas. It's not great, but it's not near as bad as some of the movies I've had to sit through recently.

So if you start to see some strange words that don't fit at all with the rest of the sentence, it is because I did not catch it when I went through and edited my mush speech. And remember, this is basically coming from a machine, so how great could it be?

I am going to be in a boat load of trouble if these things ever become self-aware.