Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, December 26, 2013


Mystery Science Theater 3000 (also known as MST3K)

I've mentioned these guys before and reviewed the MST3K: The Movie (September 18, 2012) and even had a MST3K weekend at the end of November on my Facebook page (see November 30, 2013's entry for info and link). Since we're rounding out yet another year of tired remakes (and the new word they're trying to sneak in on us - reboot which means, in a word, remake) and looking forward to a new year of... pretty much the same crap with not a whole lot of new creative activity, I've been kind of slacking off (I know, I know, when did I ever NOT). 

Joel's on the left...
I have been running through the 10 seasons of MST3K in order as much as possible (some episodes are no longer available on media but most of them are there) and even enjoyed part of the Pilot episode which I didn't even know existed as introduced by the great Joel Hodgson himself: The Green Slime.

The Green Slime (1968): A giant asteroid is heading toward Earth so some astronauts disembark from a nearby space station to blow it up. The mission is successful, and they return to the station unknowingly bringing back a gooey green substance that mutates into one-eyed tentacled monsters that feed off electricity. Soon the station is crawling with them, and people are being zapped left and right!

Ick. Sounds horrible but right up the MST3K alley. I've talked about how funny these guys are and how quick (even if the quips are scripted they STILL had to think of them and insert them at just the right moments) but I've neglected to mention just how knowledgeable both Joel Hodgson and Mike Nelson are. If you pay attention to the guys more than the movie (which you really can't help - a lot of the movies, especially in the early seasons are so garbled even the 'guys' can't make out the dialogue) they bring a lot of knowledge to the table.

The Green Slime (Released the same

year as 2001: A Space Odyssey)
They know their directors, their actors and the sets themselves. Watch one at random sometime - if it's a certain actor they'll tell you which movies (just as bad) he's been in, if a set has been used and re-used they'll tell you for which movies (that sometimes includes Star Trek) and some if not all of the continuity errors (of which I've seen more than they've mentioned but that's just me).

If you'd like to visit the MST3K world and you want to do it in order of season and episode (you get the complete story of the robots, Joel and the evil scientists that way) and you live in the US (since these are pretty much all on YouTube) then you need this link for the Club MST3K: http://www.club-mst3k.com

If you don't live in the US, you can still use the list on their page to find the movies on the web in your Country. Another good place to go to is their official website:

And if you're absolutely dying for more MST3K you can find some at the new forum (I REFUSE to say remake) called RiffTrax: http://www.rifftrax.com/

Bill Corbett, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy
One of the advantages of the new RiffTrax is that they are able to riff on movies that are not public domain so some of the movies are much more modern (but just as funny) thanks to the trio of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot).

I highly recommend checking out the pilot since Joel explains what kind of show he was going for in 1988 (and had that longer hairstyle too) as a kind of Omega Man-like format and the movie itself is... horrible (and blissfully short since he doesn't show the whole thing) but then again weren't all of 'em in the 50's and 60's? No, not really - but there were plenty for Joel to choose from and riff on and that's what made them fun (and watchable). In the pilot the format was that HE had built the Satellite of Love and was the last human alive desperately looking for someone to talk to.

Huh. Sounds like me...