Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Freaking Rich Young Dude... 




The Shrine (2010)

Trevor Matthews. Canadian. Son of a billionaire. Pretty smart dude who started and is CEO of his own film production company. Stars in his own stuff too. Only 30 freaking years old. He's got some learning to do but I think I'm gonna like him...

Just not in this one. The Shrine's main problem is lack of exposition. Probably because it is about a curse in Poland, nobody speaks English except the young children, no translation is given about what the hell the people are talking about, the three Americans are so annoying you don't mind if they die or not, and, at the end, the only explanation you're going to get about the whole damn movie is: It's a curse. It cannot be undone. That's it. Period. Two American girls died (and one guy in the beginning) and we cannot care or be moved because we have no idea what the hell for.


But Trevor Matthews (who plays Henryk in this movie) is a kid with a lot going on. I watched his 2007 Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer and found a lot to like about it, silly as it was. This - I couldn't even really find anything interesting to put in my notes, save that at the beginning when the two girls (would-be reporters) visit the mother of the missing (and very dead) guy from the beginning they are sitting around a tea set. When one excuses herself to look at the young man's things, the mother offers to make tea. Oops. Other than that, there's some interesting gore towards the very end, nice use of intestinal shredding, heads get "Gallaghered" several times, but other than that, meh.

But again this is a young man with a long way to travel and he'll get it, I'm sure... he has the instincts and the money.

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