Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Ending The Year With A Loud Whimper




Life Sucks And Then You... Live Some More

I guess it was bound to happen. Sorry my children but I've hit a major wall. When I lost Max there was at first almost a sense of relief. After all, his suffering was over, my constant vigil over him was done. Now... there is a huge hole in my life and I'm not dealing with it very well. I'm always looking down at my feet expecting him to be running into my legs. Or on the table on his blanket getting in my way as I try to type. Or sleeping on my chest - even if that meant me being up every two hours or so to take care of him. His sweet face, sightless yet still trusting is in front of my eyes when I close them. My two remaining kids, elderly Goliath and not-quite-two year old Tikka, are confused, looking around for him and there's no way to explain it to them, is there?

While I try to work myself out of the dark, tortuous hole I'm in, here's a few suggestions for a chuckle or two. Not working for me, but maybe you might find some humor there...


Eddie Izzard: This English comedian I kind of learned about backwards. By that I mean first I saw him in a bit part in Across The Universe which was quite funny, then of course his hilarious part in Bullet In The Face (I highly recommend that one), then the aborted attempt to remake The Munsters (he was grandpa), and then on Spotify found a few of his albums, then on Netflix, his performances and other movies he's been in. Eddie is a self-described transvestite (although I've seen him in makeup and jewelry I've yet to see him in an actual dress) and if you can follow his accent (and the several languages he speaks) he can be quite funny in a tortuous get-to-the-point-please kind of way.



Christopher Walken: Don't think this guy is a comedian? Try watching his performances on Saturday Night Live. Or his mad dance skills in Fatboy Slim's Weapon Of Choice in 2001 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8 . Or at least catch the ever funny parody of The Walking Dead called The Walken Dead - I got to be one of the first 50 people to see this (big honor that was) and now... it's gone kapow! Here's that link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giAQuLntqXY . And have a very Walken day.



Gabriel Iglesias: Whether you believe in the fluffy philosophy, this oversized and very funny guy has not only a great sense of humor about himself but also life in general. Pick any of his specials, you really can't go wrong. And get a new sense of what being big is really like. When you consider there's a size called daaaaaamn, fluffy ain't so bad, honest.



Henry Cho: Want something a little different you can watch with the whole family? Henry Cho is just the one. He's a Korean comic who was born and raised in Tennessee - just watching him talking in his southern accent is funny enough, listening to his stories of the mix of his Korean family with his wife's southern one is just plain hilarious. Irreverent without being racist, he is a clean machine of funny. Most liked performance? Henry Cho: What's That Clicking Noise? You won't regret it.



Family Guy: Just pick an episode. Any episode. Any year. The best ones I enjoy are the adventures with Stewie and Brian but the rest are just as funny, just as gross, just as incredibly entertaining. And I happen to think Seth is a hottie. And watching him on Saturday Night Live was the best thing I'd seen on that show since the 80's.


Blue Collar Comedy Tour: Meh, the jokes are kind of getting dated and we're more than a little ready for new material from these guys (Did you know that Jeff Foxworthy has been writing one redneck joke a day for his daily calendar since 1991?) but you can't deny their appeal...


Well, that's a few choices for cheering you up a bit. Unfortunately there's nothing for me. At all. Ever. At least it feels that way for now. Not even the cartoon beginning of Mario Bava's Hercules movie is doing me any good right now. So I think I'll just stay out of your way for a bit.

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