Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Friday, December 7, 2012

One Person's Trash Is Another Person's Treasure




Cult Movies

Having multi-problems has slowed my reviews down a bit... right now Max thinks he's Gandalf on my table in front of my keyboard and I SHALL NOT PASS... at least not without pissing him off so I got sneaky and took the towel he sits on (the table gets cold) and just kind of slid it around until I could reach the keys.

I promised a cultacular marathon and I'm gonna have one. I guess I am going to have to try Fandor or maybe Fear.net to see if I can get some better, ahem, horror cult movies, 'cause bring up cult movies on Netflix and you're gonna see some weird entries (like Jackass 3)... now I thought cult meant it built up a following in the years since it was released but apparently the better definition is that it is a film that has created a following with a particular group of people (like those who would actually watch Jackass). I went through Netflix's list and I've seen a lot of them - they're also called cult classics but I dunno...


Evil Dead: Oh yeah, this is so choice and I'll accept the cult designation 'cause you've got to just love Campbell and Raimi just to appreciate the silliness and the gore that happens at the same time.

Dusk til Dawn: Actually I agree with this one too - a three story movie with Tarantino and Clooney AND a bunch of vampires thrown in? Win.

American Werewolf In London: There's been a lot of werewolf movies since but no CGI can come close to the awesome transformation Naughton has to go through in this movie. Still the best I've ever seen.

Clueless: Okay yes I've seen this movie several times, you may laugh your head off now. It was an obvious, silly movie that you could predict the end of pretty early but it still makes me laugh and the untimely death of Brittany Murphy just makes it that much more poignant. Oh and it did resurrect Ska music - for a couple of months.

Heathers: Again played mostly for laughs, but hey, the high school kids in this movie were YOUNG enough for high school... and who can resist Christian Slater in anything? Watching rich snob kids get whacked was enough to make it popular with, well, those of us wanting to do the whacking.

Barbarella: Can you believe they're actually talking of remaking this classic? I'm not saying that it was such a wonderful movie that how can you help it but hey, Barbarella is Jane Fonda and no one else. Period. Other than that I'm going to have to watch it again 'cause it's been a long time and all I can remember is her outfits, an angel in the story for some reason, and that Duran Duran got their name from this movie (even if they dropped the 'd').

Re-Animator: Ah Jeffrey Combs. They could make more and more of these stinkers and I'd probably watch them (like I watched all four) just for you. You're sinister and goofy at the same time, and besides, it can be considered a zombie movie so...

House On Haunted Hill: Original with Vincent Price a superior story - not a lot of scares but twisted enough for me. Remake with... lots of people, less of a story, more special effects, and the surprising humor of Chris Kattan, which was all the funnier because he was trying to be serious.

Highlander: I was never a big Lambert fan but this movie has all the right elements - a man living through time, having lots of swordfights (and women) but Clancy Brown as Victor Kruger pretty much stole the movie. Sequels and TV series - meh.

Hellraiser: Oh hell yes! Since Clive Barker is one of my favorite horror writers, even a somewhat lame story to go with the awesome Cenobites made for a great movie. The following what, nine movies they cranked out? Pass 'em up...

Seed Of Chucky: Why this one made the list and not the others I don't know, I just know I laughed my butt off at this one - which is the problem. Chucky (Brad Dourif)  is supposed to be evil, not just a straight man for Jennifer Tilly to play off of. Still, has some hilarious moments as they desperately try to keep a horror angle to it.

Beavis and Butthead Do America: My husband's fault. 'Nuff said.

Return Of The Killer Tomatoes: One I'll have to watch again because all I remember is the silly things rolling around and me laughing my head off. Where the original is I'd love to know, I don't think I've ever seen it.

Planet Of The Apes: Not quite sure cult describes this one it was pretty popular with everyone when it came out. I tried to watch the new 'prequel' but people torturing a bunch of monkeys for medical research isn't my idea of a good time -  but it would explain how they got so pissed and made humans mute slaves.

Poltergeist III: Again, not sure why they picked this one, definitely the lamest of the three and just plain dumb.

The Omen: Another dubious cult designation - this one was also very popular when it came out. And produced a bunch of leave-them-alone knockoffs.

Clue: Uh, maybe. I've seen this one several times too (no, I waited and got to see all the alternate endings) and Tim Curry is a stitch and the others a laugh a minute. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a peek.

Raising Arizona: Again, saw this a long time ago (Before I was incredibly sick of Nicolas Cage - have you seen the Ghost Rider sequel? If you answered no, good for you.) so I don't remember much, just that it wasn't really my kind of humor.

This Is Spinal Tap: Okay if cult means a certain group of people than this was good for those who like watching a fake band make fools of themselves.

Food Of The Gods: I saw the title and thought RATS!!! I'd seen this as a little kid at the drive-in and large, nasty rats is all I remember of this flick so I'm going to have to see it again.

So the list, at least as far as cult HORROR goes is kind of weak. Fandor says it has a large assortment of indie, cult and classic horror so I'm hoping to get a much better list for my cultacular marathon. Stay tuned...

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