Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

FINALLY! AGAIN! THE FIFTY MOVIE MARATHON OF PURE TERROR CLASSICS... WILL NOT BE SEEN YET SO WE CAN BRING YOU THIS PUZZLING WASTE OF TALENT


Zombie Night (2013)

Nah, I'm not going to bombard you with those 50 movies all at once -  I like you. And you do NOT want what I've been watching one after another after another after... sigh. So I saw this (sort of) new zombie movie and read the list of stars and went hey - how come I haven't heard of this? I mean Anthony Michael Hall? Daryl Hannah? Alan Ruck? Shirley Freaking Jones? What the hell?


Then I watched it. And sincerely wished I hadn't. What a freaking waste of time and talent. And a whopping lot of copying from older and current zombie movies (and a certain television series). I was puzzled until I looked for the IMDb. Oh. A SyFy original movie. That explained a lot. From the people who brought you Sharknado, Ghost Shark, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators, Stonados... do you want me to go on? I sure don't.



This so-called original movie takes ideas and plot devices and outright copies other movies and TV series and mushes it all together in a mess of a zombie movie. This is the plot. It is night. Zombies come out. Morning comes. Zombies die again. That's it. For 88 minutes.

There's copying from NOTLD. There's Daryl Hannah using a Katana - that's from both Kill Bill and Michonne from TWD. There's whining like you would. Not. Believe. And what they did to poor Shirley Jones - my hubby was sitting there just shaking his head saying no, no, no.... I knew how he felt. 



Seeing Alan Ruck act like an ass and Anthony Michael Hall looking older than ME (he's not) was very, very depressing. And so was this movie. Let me clue you in and save you some time: Out of all the people they (very briefly) introduce, four live to see morning.

The youngest, as they look around at all the bodies on the ground asks, "What about tonight?" Oh hell no. I'm not gonna be sucked into that. I'm done.