Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


An Overdeveloped Sense Of Shame

You've felt it. Most have. You do something you think is really cool, then torment yourself for hours (or days or months or...) about how mean you were and you really should have kept your mouth shut...

If you didn't read my blog from yesterday (Shame on you! Get it?), on pure impulse after being interrupted during yet another dinner with the hubby (I hardly get to see him and his job is pretty stressful so it always pisses me off probably more than some), on impulse I copied what I had read that another person had done who was frustrated to the gills about getting telemarketer calls despite being on the National Do Not Call Registry.

If this is an example of how you look if
you're both good and evil, hell, I'll take both!
Winging it (I'll have it written down next time, heh heh...) I proceeded to turn this annoyance into something that was pretty damned funny. Even the hubby was snickering in the background. Buuut... if you've grown up emotionally damaged by your childhood (and these days who hasn't), you have an over-developed sense of guilt. 'What did I do?' 'What am I going to do?' 'Why did I do that?' and so on. Of course those from perfectly healthy families can react that way too, I'm not saying healthy kids grow up with no conscience - but maybe their 'guilt meter' is a little more balanced.

Later that night I decided to try to find out exactly who I gave the semi-heart attack to by pretending to have contracted a hit on somebody (oh and I didn't use names or details, I'm not that stupid). There are TONS of reverse phone number checkers on Google - and don't pay a cent for one! If they ask for money, go on to the next one. This service is free from the phone company (when you can find the right place) for crying out loud. So.

The actual number belonged to Mmmmhmmm Telecommunications Company, who sold the number to the Mmmmhmmmm Company who in turn assigned it to their Mmmmmhmmm Mmmmmhmmm Company, who then used that number to call me. 'Kay.

As it turns out, I had purchased a product from that particular company earlier this year. I had indicated on my registration of the product that I did not want phone calls of updates of this product, but would welcome emails. I get emails from them every week - sometimes several times a week. I can handle that. But I felt a wee bit guilty that I had ripped into some company I actually used...

See? I'm not the only frustrated smart ass...

Until this morning. See, our landline has been registered on the do not call list for over a decade now. Our cell phones too, as soon as we got them. So there's no excuse. A sales call to someone who bought something from your company once is still a sales call and THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED if you are on the Registry. Buuuut... she (and it was probably a young 'she', trying to work her way through college and stuff or something) isn't in control of who they call. 

If you are still working for that company this morning honey, get yourself a better job. Blue collar work is a noble thing. Today, colleges have kids brainwashed that white collar jobs equal success and blue collar jobs equal failure. I worked my butt off plenty doing blue collar jobs in my lifetime. Get off yours, stop bugging people, and work. If mindless sales calls is what these companies want to bug people so much that they'll never buy a product from them ever, they can get a computer to do that.

Ahem. Sorry about that. My point, in my typical take-forever-to-get-to-the-point way is that I decided this morning to make a spreadsheet keeping track of sales calls to report to the Registry. There IS a way to make money doing this too - if you're on the registry and they call, THEY owe YOU money. If you're willing to take the time and effort to get it.

This particular company called me THREE TIMES in five days. When I saw that, all my guilt dissipated like a silent fart. I then wrote down the other calls, where they came from (some I will have to keep looking, they hide behind three or four names so it can be difficult), and what days they call. I'm gonna start keeping track of the time too. These fancy tells-me-everything phones are going to start being useful.

Oh, and I'm working on some new material too - if you're very, VERY good I may print them. Of course you are perfectly free to write your own. Just remember: Don't throw a bunch of profanity at them, keep calm (no screaming, you lose points for that), and don't say anything that will have the FBI sniffing at your doorstep.

There is one kind of call I seem to be powerless against, however. I'm sure you've experienced it too. What do you do when you're ill and sleep (or try to) when you can't function, and you have a spouse who works extremely early hours. You tell them over and over ad nauseam NOT to call, yet you STILL get phone calls from them early in the morning or late at night? If you've got any suggestions, I'd love to hear it. 

I was thinking maybe Hallmark could come up with a card with the following jingle (with one of those electronic thingamajigs playing the song):

Hey I know we're friends
And this is crazy
But lose my number
And email me okay?

And now gentle readers, yours truly is not doing well with all the heat (it was still 90 degrees at nine last night), so if I have a good horror dream I'll tell you about it - other than that, let's just take it easy and remember to flush.

Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry - I just read a news article about an airline that warned its passengers to 'flush' anything, umm, not... good before they landed. See, they knew that on the ground there would be drug sniffing dogs and police conducting searches. Nice of 'em, huh? Of course now they're in trouble, but still... <evil chuckle>