Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Holy Crap! A Movie That Didn't Suck



Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night (2010)

Yeah, I don't pay attention to Netflix suggestions anymore. I pick my own. This was another one of those movies I really wanted to see when it came out in theaters - it reminded me a little of Kolchak: The Night Stalker. And it obviously wasn't totally going to be serious. But I can't really get out of the house because of my health. So I decided well, two totally rotten films, I'm due for something decent. And that's what I got. Not fantastic, not ground-breaking, but not half bad. It's not an original idea (Are any of those even left?) but is based on a comic book series. But so is The Walking Dead. And Hellboy. And several others my brain isn't bringing up right now. Point is, being from a comic book is not necessarily a bad thing.

We are in the city of New Orleans, which has an extremely popular night life, perfect for undead creatures. And Dylan Dog (Brandon Routh). A little backstory: Dylan used to be the human go-between for the undead and the rest of 'humanity'. But when a vampire family (these supernatural creatures have 'families' like mobs) killed his fiancee', he wiped out their top bosses and now spends his talents on two-timing spouses and insurance fraud. He and friend Marcus (Sam Huntington) eek out a living, just enough to get by. Until he gets a call from Elizabeth Ryan, who wants him to find out who killed her father.

I could go on for miles with this one - we've got all monsters represented here, from your simple zombie to Belial himself. I did kind of enjoy that he narrates the entire movie like a detective noir film. And having Sam Huntington play a reluctant zombie was cute, since on Being Human he plays a reluctant werewolf.

So we've got jokes galore about zombie life, monster habits, and Dylan finds himself getting deeper and deeper into a mystery that if he doesn't figure out what the hell's going on soon, will cause a total monster war. But since he's 'retired' no one really wants to trust him anyway, making everything that much harder.

If it seems I'm kind of skimping on this review, it's because it's a film I actually think most would enjoy and don't want to give too many spoilers, although I took a ton of notes. Let's just say it has enough twists and turns, humor, lots of action, he takes so many poundings you wonder if there isn't something a little extra in his DNA as it would probably have killed anybody else and he just gets up and walks away, and the climax is a little - well, like I said, it wasn't half bad. Kind of mucked up toward the end, but still satisfying and way WAY better than most anything I've seen in a while.


So give it a try - just don't expect a lot of logic, realism, or a terrific mystery (it took me about half the film to figure it out). Just relax and have a bit of fun. For a change. And if you really want to know exactly everything because you don't want to watch it - well, I've still got my notes.