Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Zombie Movies Netflix Says I'll Like (Because They Hate Me And Think I'm A Moron)

Death Valley - The Revenge Of Bloody Bill: Seen it, horrible!
Dead Heist - Crooks pulling a job run into zombies: NO FREAKING WAY!
Gang Tapes - A 13 year old tapes gang activity and cops find it: How is this zombie related again?
Brain Dead (NOT Dead Alive) - A crater lands in a fishing town (yeah I know but that is what it said) and everybody becomes zombies: NO FREAKING WAY!
Mutant Vampire Zombies From The 'Hood: Oh C. Thomas Howell, how low can you sink? Plus these vampire zombies are hungry AND horny!
Video Dead: Seen it, horrible!
Zombie Town: Seen it, horrible!
Severed, Forest Of The Dead: Romero rip off, seen it, horrible!
Last Of The Living - sweet buddy movie about 3 guys taking advantage of a zombie ripped world: NO FREAKING WAY!
Diener (yes I spelled that right) - A psycho must deal with zombies after picking his next victims: NO FREAKING WAY
Stripperland! - Just what it implies (with an exclamation point) - hungry, horny zombie strippers. NO FREAKING WAY

In other words I guess I'm a fraud. I won't see these so you don't have to (well, I might do the Mutant one just for laughs - if there are any) because folks, this would just be inhuman (pun intended).