Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Major Blockbuster Summed Up In A Hundred Words


Black Swan (2011)

Take the premise of the 1950's All About Eve, put in popular actresses, lesbian action and bam, you have an award winner. I can just imagine the conversation women had to get their men to go. She: It's about ballet. He: Not a freaking chance. She: Two women have sex. He: The car's warmed up, let's go.

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis pretend to dance, Natalie goes insane with the pressure, dreams up a bunch of stuff happening to her (Or does it?) and dances to death in the end.

That's 90 words so I'll say: This sucks bad. HA!