I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

Movies That Rip Off Themselves

Are You Scared 2 (2009)

Really? This clunker of a movie needed a sequel? I mean the first non-original setup had a purpose at least, and there was an underlying plan to the whole mess, even if it was stupid. AND it did not set itself up for a sequel. But they had to make one anyway? And get this - they call it an 'unrelated sequel'. What does that mean exactly? How can a movie be a sequel but not related to the first? Am I asking too much to find a little tiny bit of logic here? And they use Tony Todd? Actually he's the only reason I even checked out this piece of fluff.

We have the 'oh boy it's college students who think they're better than everyone else' with the small twist of 'we're also insufferably bragging scavenger hunters who have our own webcast'. Ick. Give 20-something teenagers a GPS and all of a sudden they think they're Magellan.

Tony Todd plays a psycho known only as the 'Controller' and his two henchman have set up a maze to entrap kids but who gives these kids 'chances' but we don't know for what - a chance to be a decent human being? A chance to be nice to others? If that's the criteria, every single young person in every single horror movie would instantly be doomed. And these creeps are (there's nothing remotely likable about a single one of them). He says ominously (I don't think Tony Todd can sound anything but ominous.) 'you've had your chance.' Oh goody, they're going to die soon.

But not soon enough. It's gonna take 93 minutes for that to happen. The real torture is to the viewer, not the kids that get killed. See, these dunces want to beat this scavenger hunt's record score (Meaning what to whom?) and have one more 'item' to find. The supposed GPS location of the thing leads them straight into the Controller's trap. Not fast enough. It takes forever for the supposed tense situation to result in the deaths that we start looking at our watch thinking 'surely one dies soon' but geez do they drag this out. There isn't even anything to remark on as far as type of traps or the method in which the kids get killed. I just really didn't care. At all.

FINALLY we're down to two - the one girl who's smart (there can only be one in these things) and the massive nerd that thinks scavenger hunts are more important than, say, getting a real job or a life. The girl manages to drive away, the nerd somehow manages to murder Tony Todd. And sees his setup. And thinks it's cool - he's the new 'Controller'. Dammit, that better not be another sequel in the making.