Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Friday, June 28, 2013


Switchblade Sisters (1975)

For the next couple of movies we'll be checking out director Jack Hill, who wrote this movie, The Big Bird Cage and Foxy Brown which are just the three I could find on Netflix - there are others. While at the time they were considered as exploitation films, some are now touted as feminist works. Go figure. I guess it might be because the women in these movies, put upon and mostly naked as they are, are strong figures for the most part. After watching several documentaries on the subject his name came up a lot - in fact Quentin Tarantino loved 'em and re-released them under his label Rolling Thunder Pictures.

Newly named Jezebels with weapons 
received from black militants (?!?)
This is one of those movies about high school kids who are obviously pushing 30. And this must be the toughest white place in the nation (no racism intended or presented) 'cause this high school is nothing BUT violent gangs. The tagline 'So Easy To Kill, So Hard To Love' of course has nothing to do with the movie at all but I guess it sounded good at the time.

I could spell out the plot but all you'd probably notice is switchblade fight fight boobs fight switchblade betrayal boobs fight jail school boobs.... so I'll keep it short.

Lace with her pre-Star Wars Princess Leia hair...
A girl transfers schools and immediately runs afoul (doubt if any of the characters could even spell that) of the local girl's gang led by squeaky voiced Lace called the Dagger Debs. They later change their names to the Jezebels. The name of the movie never appears in the movie. Boobs.

After the new girl, Maggie is raped by the leader of the male white gang Dominic, we have the fictional fantasy of men that Maggie finds after she stops fighting that she now has feelings for Dom. Uh huh. Boobs. Lace begins to notice Dom, who is her boyfriend, acting distant and so tells him she's pregnant. They fight and break up. Inexplicably, in the next scene they are together, laughing, holding hands, and planning bloody murder on a rival gang. Boobs.

Gang war on skates...
There's fighting and betrayal. Boobs. Dom is killed in a fight with the rivals and both Maggie and Lace mourn. Boobs. The guy who steps up to the plate to be the leader and main raper of women looked sort of familiar but sounded VERY familiar and I couldn't watch the movie 'cause my fibro brain takes little tiny nuggets and turns them into HUGE blockages that prevent me from concentrating on anything else. Boobs.

Donna's father was a hottie. Ick...
So I had to look him up and laughed - okay, SALTS. Boobs. The second-in-command was played by Don Stark. No you don't know that name - unless you watched That 70's Show. He played Donna's father. Boobs.

We'll be back... wahahahahaha!
So we have the ultimate fight (and nobody goes to school around here) and the newly named Jezebels are all arrested, screaming they will be back. They weren't. Boobs.