Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Monday, June 17, 2013

THAI ONE ON - NYUK NYUK NYUK







Hor Taew Tak (Haunting Me) (2007) Thailand

Now stop me if you've heard this movie plot before. But there's not much chance of that - unless you've actually seen this movie (and it's unbelievable three sequels). Let's see... we've got two ghosts haunting a building owned by four way way WAY over the top katoey (Thai for 'drag queens') because of, umm, well each one has their own reason - but both are haunting the four plus their young male boarders at the same time.

It's up to the brave men... uh women.. uh, anyway it's up to these four individuals to try by any means necessary to exorcise the two ghosts in order to keep their male toys - umm I mean boarders happy. And I notice you haven't stopped me yet. You'll probably wish you had. I mean really, really wish you had.




We're not talking Patrick Swayze 'Wong Foo' type of katoey either. We're talking over 50, and over the top in attitude, language (what was translated anyway) and dress. Wow. This is not a horror movie by any means although it is labeled as one - think of it as more of a three stooges (plus Shemp) meets ghosts type of movie and you might have something a little closer. 


The four's names are Taew, Mot-dum, Songkram and, for some reason, Cartoon (no I have no idea why). Their problems come when, for some unknown reason, they decide to cover up the deaths of one obese katoey named Pancake (don't ask) who fell, hit his/her head and died. The other is a beautiful girl named Num-Ning but we don't see how she died until later.

Like all foreign movies, how much you get out of it depends a lot on the translation. This was a toughy. The girls didn't speak very clearly to begin with (judging by how their voices sounded slurred) and the translation was really rough ('You can scare me dead!') making a good review of exactly what happened here just about impossible.

Needless to say there are sight gags galore, Scooby Doo-like cartoon sound effects, sped-up chase scenes, and the pissed off ghosts. Pancake, who apparently, uh, rotted a bit before she was found, alternately shows herself 'normal' and 'rotted' depending, and the beautiful girl Num-Ning, although having long hair, was not one of those slimy long black haired girls - she was actually pretty - with glowing green eyes.

If I were to pick a good sight gag it would be toward the beginning. One of the katoey's is in the kitchen preparing food. Num-Ning slides by the window like she's on a smooth track slide. She does this twice, then suddenly appears in the kitchen. No one is there so she looks out the window - the katoey slides by as if on the same slide, telling the 'ghost' to take over in the kitchen. Umm, I guess you had to be there.

The rest is (for them) comic scrambling to find some way to get rid of both ghosts. There are sex jokes, family jokes (a katoey's son is constantly popped on the head for saying 'dad' instead of 'mom'), rape jokes (yes, I know, I didn't think that was appropriate either) and much, much confusion.

After trying 'traditional' Thai methods to exorcise the ghosts which don't work, they decide the only way to get rid of them is to solve the mystery of their deaths (which, if you think about it was what they should have had the police do in the first place...).

And, in the end, Pancake becomes a friend and helps them with their problem with Num-Ning who, after all, only wants justice against the boys who killed her. Simple enough, right? Apparently not - since three more movies follow. Yikes.