Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Friday, June 28, 2013


The Big Bird Cage (1972)

This movie is of two exploitation themes: women in prison and the Philippines. As I stated about the documentaries I watched, in the 70's the Philippines was the hot spot to film these types of movies for the lack of censorship, cheapness, and exploiting the locals. This is actually a follow-up movie to one I couldn't find called The Big Doll House (1971) however, don't despair - Netflix DOES have Women In Cages, filmed later the same year, with most of the same cast, almost the same story and using the same sets. 

Pam Grier and Sid Haig
The only difference I noticed off-hand was the lack of Sid Haig, a favorite actor of Jack Hill. I'm not trusting Netflix when you look up lists 'cause I thought I'd gotten all the Jack Hill movies they had but this one popped up. Same happens for other things I've looked up, you've just got to do your own searching I guess.

This movie as most can tell you who've seen it, treats nudity as casual as violence and sex - the girls run around scantily clothed, their shirts sometimes tied, sometimes not. They obviously didn't really care. Especially the native women.

This chick had to be seven feet tall I swear...
Jack Hill loved putting Sid Haig (now a staple in Rob Zombie movies) and Pam Grier together and did so in several of his movies. There are also some obvious models in this movie - they towered above the locals by at least a foot. So what's the plot? Uh, well - to tell the truth there's not much of one. It's about a woman out of place going to prison with a bunch of others where they learn the ropes - and how to get naked ever two minutes or so. They YEARN for men (pfft) but alas, the male guards are all gay. Uh huh.

The big bird cage that mills... something...
So Pam and Sid play Blossom and Django. Django is a guerilla leader looking for revolution - but not very hard. But one day Django and Blossom tangle with the law and not only does Blossom get arrested, so does an, um an escort? to... whoever pays I guess - after a botched attempt at Rrrrrrrevolution in which Django grabs her and she asks why. Here's the famous line and the man's fantasy: 'To rape you!' To which she replies: 'You can't rape me, I like sex!' I'm not even going to touch that one.

A rare moment of shirt wearing...
So we've got black chicks, Filipino chicks and white chicks. And lots and lots of nudity, crass jokes about nearly everything, male rape (why would women want to... ah never mind) and violence. Don't forget violence. In the documentary, which named this movie specifically, it said that locals made about five dollars a day, were in constant danger (Who's gonna be around to make sure they're all safe?) and, of course, bared their bodies for the American moviegoer. 

Well, they do it in the circus I guess...
Scenes with police and police dogs were with REAL police and police dogs - they had to film them separate from the women so no one would get attacked. But if one was called to fall from, say, off a roof they did - right onto the ground. And in one scene where a guard is set on fire - HE IS ON FIRE and simply instructed to jump in the river to put himself out. Nice. And the scene where the woman hangs by her hair - they claim that it doesn't hurt much if you have a lot of long hair. Uh huh.

Two guns against dozens? Might work...
So Django plots with his men to get his main squeeze out of prison. Here the documentary calls the plan the WORSE PLAN EVER MADE because everyone dies. He's not kidding. The girls rush at the soldiers who show up to get Django with sharp sticks, a couple of weapons - not much. All the soldiers have machine guns. Guess who wins? But at least they died with their shirts off.