Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Thursday, October 31, 2013


Movies On The Cheap (Actually, They're Free):

I love my Netflix. They may not have a ton of good horror movies, but then again there aren't that many really good horror movies being made anymore so they work with what they have. They do mix 'em up about once a month which is nice. My favorite part of Netflix is that I can be doing a ton of other stuff on my computer (typing notes, looking at Facebook, whatever) and Netflix never so much as stutters. It is the best in streaming I have found - and I have a good system. They also have close captioning which is very welcome to my failing ears and those movies where actors insist on mumbling their dialogue. It also tells me what songs they're playing in the background - I've found more than a couple of new favorites from that.

I have tried just about every other streaming service and Netflix has blown them all away. Now you do have to pay a nominal fee to have it (a little more if you also want DVD's sent to your house) but hey, for the money, they are the best. Geez, too bad I don't get endorsement kickbacks from them. Anyway, there are other services, some of them free but you 'pay' in other ways - some have commercials, some don't stream so well if you insist on doing more than one thing at a time, most don't have any close captioning and the selection is... spotty.

So since again I took forever getting to the point, may I make a suggestion if you're bored and want to just try something you might not watch otherwise? Take a tour through YouTube. I have found some rather interesting movies (a lot of them foreign) just puttering around while watching a movie. As you know, when you watch a movie it shows 'suggestions' on the side and sometimes they're a hell of a lot more interesting than what I'm presently watching.

Just a warning - some are rather graphic. I mean more graphic than normal. Also some are just jokes. I liked the one that claimed to be the new Lone Ranger movie - click on it and get an old B&W episode from the old series. Hell, that's better than the movie actually. But yeah, there's not a lot of things that can't be shown there so you do have to have some common sense.

Some are made, not by studios, but by regular joes with a script they wrote, some money they came up with and, of course, friends. These are not genius works of art but some are rather interesting. I'm always amazed by the people who seem to have nothing better to do than sign in to YouTube just so they can swear at the makers of these movies (which can be anywhere from a half hour to movie length) for how "horrible" they are. How good could they be when they're just made for fun or for very VERY little money? 

For example, one I'm watching is, God help me, yet another 'based on actual events' movie with half of it the headache inducing, stomach wrenching hand held camera shots of a house where evil happens. In other words, the usual. The special effects aren't very special, the acting is eager but not great and the plot... meh. BUT this movie was written and made by the same person, who got his friends and about $5,000.00 dollars together to make it. What the hell do the viewers expect, 3D and CGI? Big name stars?

How about giving the independents a break, realize that their efforts come from a good place and most of the time their own savings? The one I'm watching now may be the same-old same-old that Hollywood seems to think is the only kind of horror to sell lately, but hell - for the money and the effort put in this movie, it's pretty impressive. I actually have been paying more attention just for that reason. Hollywood churns out a lot of the same kind of stuff for tons of money and supposedly 'professional' actors and effects. Meh.

So next time you go to YouTube and the movie looks kind of cheesy, the soundtrack isn't crystal clear and the effects are not-so-special, appreciate at least that somebody tried, somebody put their own life on hold just to try to make something a little different. Or, if you can't deal, make your own damned movie and let US rate YOU. See how you like getting foul language shot your way for your efforts.

Okay, I'm putting the soapbox away... carry on.