Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

OH GOD NOT ANOTHER 'THE HAUNTING' TYPE MOVIE AND... WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S THAT TITLE? REALLY? I MEAN REALLY? YOU'RE NOT KIDDING THE AUDIENCE BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY'RE STUPID, RIGHT? OH MY GOD MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES



The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia (2013)

You know, I was gonna complain about yet another 'The Haunting' type movie, especially a sequel to one that's only (small) interesting parts were when Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek were shown in their respective parts... but to have a title giving you a supposed sequel then spread that nonsense clear down the eastern seaboard to Georgia... do they honestly think we are that dumb? Yes. Yes they do. AND they insulted us further by throwing out the tag 'Based On A True Story' which simply means that yes, there IS a state of Connecticut and yes, there is also a state of Georgia - although neither state is anywhere near the other. Oh, the 'subject' of the movie, Heidi Wyrick, supposedly existed too. The rest? Pffft...

Now if you wanna waste several hours of your time, you can look up the many books, interviews and TV shows that have already been done on this tired subject (which, may I point out, has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the first movie which sucked as well) and if you wanna believe, go ahead. If you want to save yourself some time and brain cells, stay on this page, I'll make it sweet, short and relatively painless for you.

Supposedly in real life this kid was doomed from the start when she started talking to her invisible friends. Now with other kids, the family knows they grow out of doing that - but not those who 'believe' - they 'know' that their child is special. Uh huh. From another page about this particular, umm, girl: Heidi Wyrick is a gifted psychic with the ability to see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. Since she was eight years old, she has been able to see ghosts. It began in February of 1989 after her parents, Andrew and Lisa Wyrick, moved to Ellerslie when she started seeing the friendly elderly apparition of a man named Gordy who played with her on the property. 

Lisa thought this figment was an invisible friend, but eventually Heidi encountered another spirit named "Con" who appeared at the front door in a t-shirt with blood all over it. When she told her mother, she thought someone was trying to kidnap her. Andrew searched the entire neighborhood for someone who fit the description but came up empty handed. Eventually, Lisa happened to mention Con and Gordy to her sister who had just bought the house next door. As it turned out, a man named James S. Gordy was its former owner. It had once belonged to Catherine Ledford's family, and Lisa got in touch with her. She verified that James had died in 1974. Believe it or don't. I don't.

The movie: The Wyrick family moves into a historic home in the woods. It then borrows from the above paragraph pretty heavily, except it adds that her mother and aunt can do it too - you know - so you don't think it's just a troubled little girl who heard something about the place and decided to have some friends even if no one else could see them. The movie also describes things about the 'underground railroad', thus lending to the BOATS crap. Hey, real girl, real state, real slaves. What more could you ask for?

How about a freaking movie that makes sense? This is only horror in that it takes a simple story, makes it really icky and tries to tell you it's true. Long story short (I know, I know) the 'station master' for that particular choo choo station was a nasty booger of a taxidermist who decided that these running slaves were perfect for making life-like (HAH!) mannequins. Lots of them. 

So the 'ghosts' of those mannequins, plus the good and evil ghosts that little Heidi claims to see makes for a convoluted story of betrayal, nastiness and eventually of course the release of those 'spirits' to continue on their journey. Ick. Sorry, just threw up in my mouth a little. That's all there is to this sorry mess of a movie and you're welcome.