I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

M. Night Shyamalan Is Not Synonymous With Genius


The Happening (2008)


I must confess, I was thoroughly prepared to hate this movie. I've been tricked by Mr. S. before (I like to call him Shamalamadingdong, I think it suits him) and I really REALLY don't like his movies (like Devil, which review follows). But I was asked to watch this and give my opinion so.... here goes. Let's start with the title. The Happening? That's the best he could do? I have some better ones but that will come later.


We have Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo teamed up on this one. Now I really want to hate it. Not because they're in it, but because of what Mr. S. has probably made them do in his self-described 'horror thriller'.

Wait, what emotion was I supposed to show?

The plot: In Central Park in NYC a wind is shown moving through the trees and people suddenly start acting weird, confused, and ultimately begin killing themselves. The government instantly thinks terrorist attack with a biotoxin and people are asked to evacuate NYC. Simple enough, It only has what, over 8 million people living there? Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg), a high school science teacher in Philadelphia, is told along with the other faculty including Julian (John Leguizamo) by the principal (a short role for Alan Ruck but I still love watching those blue eyes) about the attacks and the school is closed. Both Elliot and Julian decide to get out of town by train. Elliot is with his wife Alma (played with a considerable lack of enthusiasm by Zooey Deschanel) and Julian is with his daughter, his wife being caught in traffic and not making the train. After the train is stopped due to lack of communication with... anybody, they are stuck in a small town. Elliot and Julian are separated when Julian decides to try to hitch a ride to find his wife. He asks Elliot to take care of his daughter. Soon after that, the 'toxin' affects all in the car with Julian. The driver deliberately drives full speed into a tree. Julian lives but is seen sitting on the road, grabbing glass to cut himself with. Nice. I knew Mr. S. was going to do something awful to these guys.


We get some convenient exposition by a nursery owner (who is situated right next to a power plant, that's healthy) about how plants can communicate with each other and even defend each other or themselves if threatened. Now we're talking trees communicating with plants, plants with grass, grass with crops.... you get the idea. So now we get the feeling this is not man-made but natural.


Yes we as humans have screwed this planet up royally. We've overpopulated, deforested, polluted, and done a lot of really nasty things to the only place we can call home. That's why the title is really lacking. Maybe he wanted to keep his 'twisty' little plot points secret. A better title might be The Day The Earth Struck Back, or Planet Pissed, or You've S*** On Us So We're Gonna S*** On You. Just some suggestions.


Elliot keeps coming up with brilliant theories (he thinks) that manage to keep him, his wife and Julian's daughter alive. As the attacks become more widespread across the Northeast, even the atmosphere itself gangs up on them, spreading things even faster with gusting winds. He figures the less people, the less likely the attack and so the few survivors split off in smaller and smaller groups. This goes strictly against horror movie etiquette.


After running, hiding, meeting people, watching people die, running again, they find a decrepit house with an old woman who is isolated from everything. She grudgingly lets them stay and feeds them, even though she is a paranoid, rotten old b.... I mean lady. When she goes outside and is herself stricken with this... stuff, she kills herself. Now Elliot knows it doesn't matter - it, whatever it is, wants everyone dead. He is split with his wife and the kid (Doesn't anybody pay attention to horror movies?) in different buildings but, only thinking thoughts of love for her, goes outside anyway. She does the same, finally showing a little emotion. They should have played 'All You Need Is Love' in the background, since Mr. S. was making an obvious point that love makes the world go 'round and the plants not kill you.

The plants rebelled that morning and end their hissy fit the next morning. All is now well. Three months later find the Moores back at home with Julian's daughter, and we find that Alma is now pregnant. Oh yes, we learned our lesson didn't we? We pissed off the earth by all the things I listed above, and now she's adding to the population again. Duh. 'Experts' warn that this may have been only a warning, like the red tide (a reference to real incidents where off the coast of several countries a red bloom of algae inexplicably appears, poisoning wildlife and sickening anyone eating anything with it in it).

And since Mr. S,. can't resist to have the 'twisty' part of a movie we shoot over to France, where in a garden in front of the Louvre a scream rings out and everyone freezes as the wind moves through the trees.

Guess we weren't warned enough. Just like not enough people are warned about M. Night Shyamalan movies.