I Watch 'Em So You Don't Have To

M. Night Shyamalan Is Not Synonymous With Genius

Devil aka The Night Chronicles: Devil (2010) 


This movie seriously pissed me off. The previews looked cool. I don't usually go to the movies so I waited for PPV - got it, DVR'd it, waited until I felt good enough to enjoy it and... was so seriously pissed I swore off any movie that this Shamalamadingdong was involved with. And now I find it is to be one of a trilogy? Seriously? Two more piles of steaming crap to go with this one? Yikes.


We get to be bored by a constant voice-over by Ramirez, an employee of a high rise building. He keeps telling stories his granny taught him about good and evil, God and the Devil. In convenient exposition style he tells of stories where the Devil, apparently being really REALLY bored with nothing else to do, can't wait to drag evil people to hell but will come to earth to, umm, hasten their journey I guess. The sign that the Devil has come down to earth to do his evil work (having legions of demons, I guess he still needs to get his own hands dirty once in a while) is a suicide. Well hell (pardon the pun) he must be everywhere all the time, considering the suicide rate is one every 40 seconds worldwide. That must be what the legions of demons are for, the Devil can't have all the fun. I'm not making light of the fact that so many people are that despondent that they want to end their own life, just Mr. S.'s view on how the Devil operates. Duh.



Soon after a person jumps off the 35th floor of the building, an elevator with a mix of five people in it screeches to a halt. Stuck. And so are we, 'cause we're basically here for the rest of this sorry excuse of a movie.


We have the stereotypical alcoholic detective, bitter over the loss of his wife and son, who is assigned to the suicide case but soon becomes involved with the unexplained and unfixable state of the elevator. Why? Please don't ask, that will just make them talk some more. Anywho, Ramirez is a security officer in the building that watches over the elevators. He can talk to the people inside, but for some reason, he cannot hear what is said. We already know why. In fact, I had this so-called puzzle solved in the first ten minutes but the movie takes an excruciating 80 minutes to catch up. Just look for the obvious that is trying not to be obvious, and you pretty much have it all wrapped up quickly. These five people are not nice people. Let's face it, how many really nice people are there in the world anyway? And what did these five not-so-nice people do that they get a visit from the actual leader of the demons himself? I know some serial killers, child molesters and other creepy crawlies that are much more deserving of a little personal attention, if hell was real. The Bible does not teach that, but this is not a religious lesson. He tries to make it one but fails like he fails to build this movie into a proper horror film.

The not-so-nice people begin to die as lights conveniently go off and come on. Wow, is THAT an old trick. And speaking of old tricks, Mr. S. was not as creative as some may think with this movie - in a lot of aspects it rips off points from an Agatha Christie novel published in 1939. Naughty naughty - you might be getting a visit soon Mr. S. Fingers point all the way around (by those left alive of course) and since they have nothing better to do, they all turn on each other. Duh. Those trying to repair the elevator are killed, after all, we can't have this movie end early. Unfortunately. Sigh. The detective tries to figure out the puzzle but alcohol kills a lot of brain cells, so Ramirez keeps giving his homey advice based on all the spooky stuff his granny kept telling him (nice granny, give the poor kid night terrors for the rest of his life).


I could tell you who the 'Devil' turns out to be to save you the trouble, but instead to get a much better constructed and satisfying ending would be to read Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. Not only would you pretty much have your answer, but a hell of a lot better story.


Of course, one last survivor (Wait, that's the Devil, right? No?) confesses his sin which for whatever reason means the Devil can't take him (Why not? Ask a Catholic I guess, I have no idea.) and conveniently it ties in with the detective and his tale of woe.

Okay, I made a deal, I get to die first. Ha!

The movie ends with Ramirez' wise statement of 'If there is a Devil, there must be a God'. Real comforting for people to think that God would just let the Devil rip people up like that and then send 'em to hell. A good reason for the rise in Atheism I guess. Hey, instead of not believing in God, just stop going to Mr. S.'s movies. Maybe some of your faith in God will come back.