Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

YOU OWE ME AN HOUR AND A HALF OF MY LIFE!









Don't Go Into The Woods (2010) 

YOU OWE ME AN HOUR AND A HALF OF MY LIFE! Every heard of a horror musical? There's a good reason for that. The first clue it was going to be particularly bad? The command at the beginning to turn up the volume while watching it. WHAT??? I respect indie music but this drivel was the worst self-serving treacle I've had the misfortune of... well actually I fast forwarded every time they started to sing (even while dying they KEPT SINGING!!!) I have never been so mad at a bad movie... well maybe as mad but still...

Basic plot was like most others: Bring a bunch of late 20 something characters posing as college students together that you want dead before the intro finishes, and kill them off one by one in hum drum ways. A guy and his band go into the woods to try to make music. 


Unfortunately for the viewer they do. Constantly. They then, finally (an hour into the movie only two were dead - not near fast enough), die horrible deaths so that the lead character is the only one left to carry on his tone deaf career as a singer. The killer of most of them is never revealed, but you really don't care. You just want it to be over.



                              

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