Dead Above Ground (2002)
My first comment goes to Stephen J. Cannell: Stay out of your own movies you egomaniac. Stephen King can do it and get away with it because he's fun to watch. You were... just awful. Which fits perfectly because so was your movie you prejudiced creep.
This movie was maddening and not just because it was horrible and made no sense and there was no explanation to 'tie' everything together. It's because it portrays goth kids the way they are still regarded today: Weird kids that should be shunned 'cause hey, they're all devil worshippers, right? WRONG Mr. Cannell and do you have any idea how many teen suicides are caused by kids being bullied because they are different?
|Apparently thinks all kids should be labeled.|
|Don't worry honey, we die right away...|
|No, Goth kids are not psychopaths. I just happen to |
be a psychopath who dresses like a Goth kid.
But later at a party at Cannell's house (He played the principal. Yeah, all high school principals let underage kids party at their houses.) he's inexplicably there also and of course gets into a fight. He drives off, hitting the cherry red Camaro belonging to the poor kid (oh boo hoo) so of course that kid has to drive and chase him - right off a cliff and since this is a movie the car explodes upon impact, the police apparently not checking anything until much later 'cause all they find is some ashes. The kid with the Camaro is suspected of doing it on purpose but they can't prove it.
Skip ahead once again to a year later. A new blonde kid shows up and of course he now lives in the house Jeff Lucas had claimed was his family's. And then we get the horrid 'it's been a year so Jeff will come back from the dead' and people begin to die, usually axed or knifed by a figure in a black cape for crying out loud and a mask.
And this killer is no "spirit", that's apparent at the start - they show him strangling then breaking the neck of one girl and he's panting. Spirits pant? That pretty much helped me write the rest of my review without even watching the rest of this sick cinema. Just kidding, I did watch it, and all my suspicions were right on - Cannell you have the imagination of a potato.
|I have to hurry my hair needs to take a leak...|
The Scooby gang decide that the remaining goth girl (there were others but they disappeared since, I guess, Cannell didn't think they were needed anymore) Zara is in league with the 'spirit' of Jeff and is helping him commit the murders. Oh but we've got it better than that and right on schedule according to my pre-written review.
|Burned skulls always look like brains... duh...|
We have the big fight scene blah blah blah and Jeff/Rick goes over the cliff AGAIN, this time landing on some very conveniently place spikes on a rock (Spikes on a rock? Will you PLEASE stop being this stupid?). But ooooh, for the hopes of a sequel (nope) the body once again disappears.
And we get no explanations. What is Dead Above Ground? Why did he pick these kids and in that order - wouldn't he first have killed the kid that he raced when he went off the cliff? Oh sorry, that would imply intelligence and this movie had none. He just disappears. And so did the careers of everyone in this movie. Oh sorry, somehow Corbin still gets work. Don't ask me how.