Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Supernatural Activity - Return Of The Spoof (2012)

Before I start this review let me make a small confession: I have seen this movie... many, many times. I have a list of quotes and 'rules' from it that I frequently refer to. Why? Because this brain dead parody of every PA type movie you've ever seen has some dead-on commentary AND facts that puts it above every one of those stupid movies. Even if THIS movie is ALSO stupid. 

Let's face it, they're here, they're que.. stupid, get used to it. We're talking paranormal movies, found footage movies, hand-held cameras, snotty noses, and those massively retarded TV shows where the actors spend the whole time trying to scare each other. They're everywhere. I'm surprised there hasn't been more spoofs than there are. I'm aware that a new one, Haunted House, is soon to be released - a Wayans take on the PA movies. So I guess this one is a little unique. Actually, I saw the Haunted House spoof and it suuuuuucked. So yeah, this is unique.

We have a documentary of a documentary of found footage of a fake TV program. That's how THEY describe it, not me. Basically what they've done is mash all the current trends together in one big mess that is only mildly funny, a bit nauseating, and 92 minutes long. But as I said, there are bits in there that I've quoted many times in many reviews since.

The crew is pretty generic, and are led by a guy who is trying to be, I'm guessing, a version of Criss Angel. We then get a pretty uneven mix of all the PA's, the Last Exorcism, The Blair Witch Project, and every other fake boogeyman filming crew movie made to date. 

The jokes are funny in spots, the movie is confusing because of the mix (you can't follow it unless you've seen all the movies parodied) and the ending is - well, just as uninspired and disappointing as any of them. Which is the point.

In other words, watch if you wanna, if there's nothing on TV.