Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Monday, April 8, 2013


From Beyond (1986)

Once again an H.P. Lovecraft story... wait a second. Six in French is six? Really? No sh... kidding? Okay. Once again an H.P. Lovecraft story is desperately tried to be squished into a movie. I say try because H.P. wrote practically a whole mythology all by his lonesome, which is why so many efforts to make them into mundane movies kind of go splat. And nobody splats better in an H.P. story than Jeffrey Combs.

I'm not knocking Combs - he's one of my favorite character actors, and I hadn't seen this one yet so I was actually pleased because I know he's a great fan of H.P. - he's appeared in eight movies of H.P. stories (I don't know if they count the Re-Animator series as three or as just one) so seeing him in an older one was a treat. I wish I could say the same about the movie.

Oh it was much better than most, believe me. Just having a machine that makes your pineal gland grow and open you to another dimension that already exists overlapping our own is a great attempt at an H.P. idea. Using a huge room to house the 'computer' needed to run it was funny, considering that today it would probably be smaller than the one I'm typing on now.

Oh and they made it in Italy 'cause they love that stuff number one and number two it was much, much cheaper. Like instead of fifteen million they did it for two and a half. Of course that's 1986 dollars.

The gore is gory, the sticky bits are sticky, the silly stuff is silly and it just goes from good effort to c'mon end this already - especially the scene where.. uh, never mind. It would take H.P. to sort this one out so let's just say if you're a fan this is one of the better efforts and if not, pass.