Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.

Friday, May 3, 2013


Two Zombies Over The Line Sweet Readers
Two Zombies Over The Line
Sittin' Here Watchin' Some Netflix Movies
Two Zombies Over The Line

Slither (2006)

Hmm, talking about The Walking Dead.... this movie is sort of a zombie movie. I didn't understand the description though - yeah okay a meteor from space releases these creepy crawlies that take over the brains of small townspeople and they act like zombies. But it also said it turned housecats into hellcats. Uh, what? There are splatted animals galore in this film but I really didn't see any cats. Lots of dogs, cows, wolves, etc. but cats? Oh well, good news folks! 

This above-average low budget creature feature stars our beloved Michael Rooker (known to us The Walking Dead fans as the nasty-but-cool Merle) as Grant Grant (no I didn't stutter, that's his name), the richest guy in town and of course a massive jerk. He's messing around with his lady of the evening (despite being married to the prettiest woman in town) in the woods when they discover the meteor and, since this movie's got to get started, Merle - sorry I mean Grant begins poking the damn thing. It splits open and a parasite-like creature imbeds itself into his chest.

It gradually soaks up his memories and becomes him - or he becomes it, whatever. And his body starts to change. Which makes his pretty but none-too-bright wife Starla (oof, who thought that name up) ask for help from the Sheriff whose had a crush on her from childhood, Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion - currently in the series Castle but you might know him better from Firefly). 

Things blow up (literally) when a woman Grant, uh, impregnates? literally explodes with wormy babies. Funny. No, I mean really. This movie is played for both (small) shivers and lots of laughs. The worms go forth and start infecting other people. Soon, all but a few are taken over - and they all think they're 'Grant' because of course I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Right?

One teenage girl had one of those things in her mouth (Freudian much?) long enough to find out somehow that the things are actually one thing that was from another planet until it pretty much consumed everything and that's why it's now on our piece of dirt.

Things come to a head like a big zit (sorry) when all the infected 'meld' with Grant into a massive Jabba The Hut-like creature - and so when it's 'popped' (sorry again) with propane gas, it dies and all the other infected die along with it. So now the town consists of the Sheriff, Starla and the teenage girl. Hmm, didn't I just see a movie where... aw skip it.

After the credits, we see one lone cat sneaks up to what was Grant's brain and licks it and becomes infected. Ick.