YET ANOTHER FREAKING NIGHTMARE HORROR MOVIE STARRING A CHILD THAT NO CHILD SHOULD EVER BE ALLOWED TO SEE...





The Babadook (2014) Australia

After already getting complaints about my ripping on the popular movie Oculus, I decided I might as well go after another movie that I've heard so much about this year, I was incredibly sick and tired of it and I hadn't even seen it yet.

The Babadook is a variation of the boogeyman - at least in this movie. I think everyone's aware of that. However if you want to see an above average, sometimes puzzling, actually pretty neat little piece of cinema (without your children please, unless you like them jumping into bed with you screaming they've had nightmares), I suggest you stop reading right now. If you must continue:


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The setup: Amelia is tired. Very, very tired. When she was being driven by her husband to the hospital to have her baby, they were in an accident and he was killed. She was fine and the baby was born...

Almost seven years later, Amelia is very VERY tired. Her child, Samuel (Noah Wiseman), is - hmm, let's put this in nice terms. He is a high maintenance child. He makes weapons like a small Daryl Dixon and insists on carrying them constantly. He gets kicked out of the first grade for sneaking one of his weapons (a small homemade crossbow that shoots darts) with him to school. He wants to be a magician and insists his mother helps him with costumes and magic tricks.


And he's scared of monsters. Every night not only does he demand a story, but a thorough search of his room for monsters. Night after night after night...

Amelia is VERY tired. Played by the beautiful Essie Davis, she is all but unrecognizable in this movie as the toll of trying to raise her son alone (she still wears her wedding ring and doesn't date) along with a full time job at a care center is making her older by the hour. Did I mention he was high maintenance? Oh and she has a toothache. That comes into play later...

He's also very, very annoying. He screams more than he talks and if I were his mother... let's just say that Noah Wiseman should get an Oscar for his performance in this film. If his character had been my kid, when he pitched a fit in the car screaming and kicking the seat, I probably would have stopped the car, kicked him to the curb and drove off...


Just kidding of course. Maybe. Which is why I have no children. One night, Sam insists on picking the book for his mom to read before bed. It is a pop-up book called Mister Babadook. I must admit that when I first heard the name, I thought it sounded like a toddler trying to tell you they've filled their diaper. The story goes as follows (if you think this is really cool you can buy the book but don't expect your kid to sleep without the lights on until he/she leaves for college):

If it's in a word or if it's in a look
You can't get rid of the Babadook.
If you're really a clever one
And you know what it is to see
Then you can make friends with a special one,
A friend of you and me.
His name is Mr. Babadook
And this is his book.
(RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE)
A rumbling sound then 3 sharp knocks
ba BA-ba DOOK! DOOK! DOOK!
That's when you'll know that he's around
You'll see him if you look.
This is what he wears on top.
He's funny, don't you think?
See him in your room at night
And you won't sleep a wink.
(LET ME IN!)
I'll soon take off my funny disguise
(take heed of what you've read...)
And once you've seen what's underneath...
YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU WERE DEAD.


After reading it to him, Sam completely freaks (just repeat duh a couple dozen times) and insists on sleeping with her. In his sleep he kicks her, pulls her hair and generally makes her miserable. Amelia is very VERY tired.

I peed myself more than usual trying to read this through without laughing so hard. I want to know who wrote this little ditty so I can shake his hand (I'll wash first)...


Samuel is such a brat he tries to scare everyone, telling them his dad died the day he was born, breaking the nose of a little girl when she won't believe there is a Babadook, and just being totally out of control. His mother can't even have a little, umm, personal time without him running in. Finally she's had enough after he trashes his room and takes the book and rips it up, throwing it out in the garbage.

Sooo of course the natural progression is that she starts to hear strange sounds at night. Great. She finds broken glass in her soup and is so defeated by it all that she simply tells Sam to go watch TV - even as he insists that The Babadook did it... And Sam isn't going to let up on her either:

"I HATE YOU! YOU WON'T LET ME HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND YOU WON'T LET ME HAVE A DAD!"  This was his punishment for screaming at everyone and talking nonstop about the Babadook - oh yeah, and breaking a little girl's nose in two places. 


FINALLY he gets so worked up he convulses, so the doctor gives her sleeping pills for the kid. To hell with the kid, what about her? I have to say I love the way they show her getting some sleep - the shot shows her floating in the air softly to her bed. Really wish I could do that. In the morning someone knocks on the door. Hard. The book is, of course, sitting on the doorstep.

It has been pieced together and more words have been added and looking closely I found a continuity error - it's small but it's so stupid that they couldn't take an extra second to... well, anyway:

Notice how the words are arranged...

I'll WAGER with YOU,
I'LL MAKE you a BET.
ThE MORE you DENY the
STRONGER I GET

The word 'the' has just been ripped and moved. L-A-Z-Y!

The second time the camera pans across the words, the last line now says 'the STRONGER I GET' - a word has been moved from the third line to the fourth. In fact, the paper obviously has been ripped to move the word down.

The next page is The Babadook over HER bed with the words LET ME IN! The next page shows a pop-up of her standing with him towering over her from behind.

You start to CHANGE when I get in.
the BABADOOK growing right UNDER YOUR SKIN
Oh COME! Come SEE what's UNDERNEATH!

The next pop-up is the same except now she's strangling the family dog. As she looks, the dog's head falls over. So of course the NEXT pop-up shows the same except now she's strangling her son (YESSSSS!!!!!). As she watches the paper twists back and forth. The final pop-up shows her with a knife, slitting her own throat and red blood flows.

This time, because she has learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, she puts the book on the barbie, covers it in gasoline and sets it on fire. Next come the phone calls, then the cockroaches...  Ho freaking hum. We're 41 minutes into the movie and all I've learned is that I'm rooting for a made-up boogeyman instead of worrying about this pitiful family.

Forty seven irritating minutes in, things finally get interesting. The kid is drugged to sleep, but mom isn't so she gets to see and hear a freak show that would frighten just about anybody. I was even creeped out. It's loud, it's an all-black figure, it crawls everywhere - even on the ceiling. Now HERE is the nightmare I was looking for. Watch only if you wanna:

Now it's mommy's turn to do all the screaming. She yells at the boy when all he wants is food. All she sees is TV programs with monsters in them - over and over. Her jaw is hurting even worse from the toothache, and while driving she thinks she sees something black and ends up in a minor accident.

I did find it interesting that when she turned stern (before she went total full-on psycho) the boy started behaving and stopped his yelling and temper tantrums. Hmmm... Of course once she totally flipped he tried to call for help and he had to hide with his homemade weapons while she went around locking everything so 'nothing could get in' although by now we know that she wants nothing to get out. She also makes him take his sleeping pills although they make him sick.

Totally at the head-twisting (the dog, or at least a stuffed one anyway) stage, she then pulls out one of her teeth - apparently the one that's been bugging her since the movie started. She's now a full-on evil spirit - she floats, screeches, and kind of sounds like Jessica Lange (sorry Jessica) - and now Sam's the hero and she's the enemy.


For a bit it turns into a nasty game of 'Home Alone' as the kid uses his homemade weapons, the kitchen knife, and a rope he strung on the basement steps to pull tight when she comes after him to trip her. If the tension wasn't so high, this would be funny. He manages to knock her out.

She comes to in the basement, tied up. But he's a seven year old and so she gets her hands free and starts to strangle him. After he tells her he loves her (with his neck being squeezed?) she lets go.


She turns over and vomits a bunch of black stuff. The boy then helps the wounded, icky and tired mother up the stairs. But at the next staircase he tells her you can't get rid of the Babadook and something invisible pulls him up the stairs.


She runs to save her son and gets in a yelling match with The Babadook and it gets irritating really fast - then we see effects that seem really cool but we don't see anything of him, except that he screeches and runs into the basement. Sigh. And the movie is not over yet.

It's the day of the boy's birthday party and they're apparently keeping and feeding the blasted thing in the basement worms. They're actually being nice to it and it seems to be at home in the dark of their house. Aaaaand that's the end. Sam and his mother celebrate his birthday by themselves, and they hug and are... happy? Really?

Actually although at first I felt kind of let down by this meh ending, I was at least not disappointed completely with it - it wasn't good, bad, or predictable... just really, really weird. And I think it fits.

Update: 4/18/15 - I watched this movie again on Netflix and think I have a theory of the weird ending that seemed off the first time. Of course because of all the screaming I watched a lot of it with the sound down or off (bless the CC) but I think why she allowed it to stay in their basement is first, she was briefly possessed by it and maybe understands what it needs - and it understands that to have a 'home' it has to behave. Also, now that Sam has seen a real monster that is not going to 'get' him (rats) he has calmed down and maybe a real life can begin for the both of them. Just a theory.



                        

YOU'VE GOT REDD ON YOU

Redd Inc. aka Inhuman Resources (2012) Australia

Let's face it horror fans, the internet world of watching movies (outside of paid services) is getting dicey. Where many used to upload or download torrents, or just stream movies from a particular site, chances are they run into some bad mofo trying to hijack their computer. It's happened to me twice and I am so glad to have a strong security system and team to help me if I'm in trouble. But it has made me back up and off from using certain sites (even those 'approved' by my security software) and staying with my DVD's and Netflix. I've noticed that there's also a rise in movies being shown on YouTube.

That's fine but you've got to expect certain, umm, problems. For example, a lot of the time they're labelled with every horror synonym and description you can think of to try to get viewers on their page. I've seen lists of descriptions longer than my Google page. 

Another is that they often don't have the title of the movie on the main description so you have no idea if you've seen it, would never watch it, or if it even is a movie after all until the beginning credits get done. 

Also and this is a big one - when I watch music videos, I expect (especially with the Vevo ones) to see a commercial at the beginning. Irritating but livable. With some of these movies, there's a freaking commercial every, oh, I'm going to say ten minutes or so. That. Is. Horrid! I was trying to get info on a movie's credits when it went to commercial! By the time I could get back to it, it was over.

Aaaand of course there are lots of them that are only allowed on the site for hours or days before the link is pulled for one reason or another.

I found this movie by sheer accident. If you know a good place to watch it, go there. If not, don't enter the title to see it on YouTube, you won't find it. The link (as of 11/6/14) is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK1MpnfkNao


Why did I bother? In big letters at the beginning: Tom Savini, Special Make-Up Effects Supervisor. That was enough.

This movie is torture porn. I'm learning what that means and yeah, it can get pretty messy. This one, presented by Fangoria, had a story buried in it though, and it was almost (ALMOST) interesting. 

It starts with the capture, trial, and death by a fire at the mental hospital of a company president who happens to be an ax murderer who liked to chop the heads off of CEO's of big corporations. 

Six months later, we see Annabelle being interviewed for a job by Skype. Being interviewed by Skype? That scared me more than the whole movie... brrrr...

After the interview ended with a 'we'll call you' which you know never happens, Annabelle is contacted during her 'job' as an online stripper by a stranger offering her a job. She cuts him off, but minutes later is attacked and knocked out.

She wakes up in a room, locked to a chair which in turn is locked to a table filled with computers. There are five others with her. Okay, great - we've got the typical wake-up-with-strangers scenario. 

Their new "boss" is a man named Reddmann - the ax murderer who was supposed to have died. Apparently he cut off his left arm at the elbow to leave evidence of his 'death' in the fire. Ouch. He also is sporting a toupe' that some poor hedgehog gave his life for.

The people were not chosen at random (DUH THEY NEVER ARE). All are people who participated in his trial and conviction, whether cop or lawyer or just material witness. Mr. Reddmann's 'purpose' is to have his innocence proven, since he feels those involved with the trial 'didn't do their jobs properly'. 'Kay. 

If they screw up, they get a mark on their forehead with his new left metal hook. Five strikes and you're dead. He files all body parts in a file cabinet (very small chuckle).

He is quite insane. Now here is where it gets almost interesting. His insanity comes because of a certain doctor at the hospital he was committed to. You KNOW in horror movies that every doctor that works in an asylum (or hospital) is evil, nasty, crazy, demon worshiping, or plain sadistic. The doc did a great job to make this man as nasty and evil as he was supposed to be in the first place.

The movie goes in the order you expect - people screw up, people get tortured, people die. But did this guy actually commit the murders at the beginning of the movie in the first place? The participants are chained for days (some for months) to a table, expected to examine every piece of the trial - transcripts, statements, evidence, etc. to determine if they all had done their job 'properly'.

Hmm... try to guess what comes next. Ah c'mon guys - you act like you don't already know. OF COURSE these people didn't do their jobs properly or we would just have a cheap VHS torture porn tape. Evidence was hidden, depositions were 'lost', the cops were corrupt, the 'witnesses' didn't see what they thought they were looking at, and we won't even talk about the psychic the police hired to 'find' Reddmann or Redd as he wants to be called.


Tom Savini gets to make his cameo as the one witness who could have proved Redd's innocence (Redd was firing him at the time) because then the trial would have fallen apart. And on and on and on...

That was the main problem for me. The 'clues' took too long in between the 'torture' of the 'employees' (my ''''' key is just about wore out now) and the stripper suddenly becomes the MacGyver of the group and manages to plot an escape. Uh huh. The hero, if you can call her one, manages to get into a vent, knock Redd out cold with a dismembered leg and tries to free the others.

They use office supplies as weapons but whoops, more die. Of the two who survive, Annabelle and another 'witness' guess which one is the REAL ax murderer? Sigh. When he attacks and severely wounds the girl I almost said 'good' 'cause then it would be over. But no, it goes on ad nauseam and I do mean AD NAUSEAM. 

Somehow she lives but so does Redd and the real killer - and then another fast forward and she's home and healed. She's written a tell-all book about the experience so money is no longer a problem.

On her way to a book signing though, the killer comes to get her. As she runs into the night and the rain, she also runs into Redd, who saves her from the killer (Umm, what?) and then tells her he's on his way to a certain doctor to 'talk' to him about his, umm, methods... are we trying to copy Hannibal the Cannibal or are we doing an homage? Ah, forget it.

The ending was improbable but not too bad. Dressed fancy for her book signing, she shows with blood all over and the head of the killer, slapping it on the podium. Most horror writers WISH they could have a signing THAT cool.



                        

MOVIES THAT HAVE TITLES THAT TELL YOU THE WHOLE STORY

Crawl (2011)

This is one of those what-the-hell-did-you-expect kind of movies because, hey, it's both Australian and the title is... yeah. But somewhere while gathering info on new (new to me) horror this came up as a gotta-watch-it kind of movie. I think whoever did that is somewhere laughing his/her ass off. Because the title is very, very apt. This movie... crawls.

Croatia, officially the Republic of Croatia, is a unitary democratic parliamentary republic at the crossroads of Central Europe, Southern Europe, and the Mediterranean. Its capital and largest city is Zagreb. I say this because I think it's a beautiful place. That being said this portrays a Croation as a very-tall-man-in-cowboy-hat-that-moves-very-slowly-and-stares-at-you-but-does-not-speak.

Here's the movie, in short (because there's nothing else): A bar. One bartender, three barmaids. One mechanic. One Croatian.

Bartender has Croatian kill mechanic. They crawl. Croatian takes money (and blow) and drives off. He crawls. He hits one barmaid's fiancee', killing him. He drives to barmaid's house, pounds on her door. She grabs a knife and spends 15 minutes looking at the phone. She crawls. When she finally goes for the phone the Croatian grabs her, knock her down.

She crawls. He ties her up. Barmaid two shows up but leaves when no one answers door. Barmaid one gets free but crawls into a window on the second floor.

He knows she's trapped and goes to make sure her boyfriend is dead. The boyfriend is alive and... crawls. He finishes him off with a baseball bat. He steals an engagement ring off of him. He goes to the house. She has a gun.

He stares at her. She shoots twice. He looks at her. He looks at his shirt. Smirking (Ooooh a face expression change!) he takes the engagement ring out of his pocket and throws it at her feet. She knows what that means. She shoots one more time. He dies. The end.

You know what's really pitiful? George Shevtsov (billed as The Killer) is from Perth and considered one of Western Australia's most in-demand actors. He is an incredible voice actor. In this movie he spoke maybe 10 words.

I'm so, so sorry George.

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MOVIES YOU CAN PASS OVER BUT I'M GIVING THEM A PASSING MENTION




Whoa, What Stinkers!

Usually I don't complain (unless I think it's funny) about the movies I watch, good, bad or really, really BAD. It seems I've gotten hold of some real bummers lately but hey, see motto above, right? So with a grin and a grimace, here's some of the barely mentionable cinema I've viewed recently.

Last Kind Words (2012):  This was actually the better of the films I'm highlighting here (even if it appears to steal its movie poster idea from Silent Hill: Revelations) - it's just that for a 'horror' movie it's really a dreary, depressing look at a disintegrating family and you know the movie will NOT have a good ending, or even a satisfying one. Eli, 17, has moved with his mother and father on his father's childhood's friend's farm. While the owner appears rich, with lots of property and buildings, he is actually a step away from losing the place. 

He also has a secret. When Eli discovers that part of the farm is fenced off and wants to explore, their landlord (Brad Dourif) very curtly tells him to stay away from that area. That is of course an instant invitation to explore - and he finds out in the middle of nowhere a sweet girl named Amanda who becomes his only friend. When the landlord discovers that Eli has seen Amanda he goes ballistic. And that's where the movie loses any sense of... sense. 

Apparently, whomever is hung from a tree on this piece of property stays there as a spirit. Why? Pfft - no explanations are given of ANYTHING. An old black gentleman accused of... something long, long ago is hung from one of the trees and his 'spirit' finally freed when Eli lowers his body from the tree. And then to his 'horror' he finds why Eli wants him away from that part of the property - some obscure story about the guy killing his father by accident, blaming his sister and hanging her out there - so of course, the sister being Amanda is now stuck out there. 

Her brother loves her... umm... a bit too much and wants to be with her forever so he ends up hanging himself with her skeleton from the same tree. She doesn't want to be eternally stuck to him so begs Eli to cut them both down. He does, knowing it means he loses her.

Our last scene of this doom and gloom fest is of Eli's mother, quite a bit older and alone and now owner of the property greeting a family that will live there to help her with it. There's a teenage daughter with them - she looks over the fenced area and sees Eli, same age, waiting to talk to her. He had, of course, hanged himself to... what? Amanda was gone, he wasn't going to meet up with her so why did he kill himself? We don't know, all we're grateful for is that this boring angst fest is over.



Super Hybrid (2010) Australian: A copy of Stephen King's classic Christine this is not - which is the only thing you can give it credit for. Otherwise it is a lame creature feature with head shaking stupidity and a waste of acting talents (Oded Fehr being on top of that list).  Late one night, a mysterious car is brought into the Chicago police impound garage after a deadly traffic accident. 


The on-call mechanics soon discover the car has a mind of its own. With hundreds of horsepower and two tons of reinforced steel at its command, it's a seemingly unstoppable killing machine capable of outrunning -- and outwitting -- humans. Why? Well because it's a shapeshifting tentacled monster from God-knows-where that's why. Silly movie watcher - did you expect a rational explanation? So basically the whole movie is a group of people conveniently trapped in a police impound garage running from a car that can become any car it chooses and picks them off one by one - but much MUCH too slowly. Sigh.


The Open Door (2008) Australian: Being a teenager is sooooo hard. And unfair. What, was this supposed to be surprising in some way? The movie starts with some vague statistics about strange murders and other crimes happening on full moons. Duh. So our protagonist and generally stupid teenager Angelica sits at home, angry at being grounded from going to a party. She tunes into a legendary pirate radio broadcast, hosted by a strange figure known as the Oracle, that only appears on the nights of the full moon. This Oracle was supposed to be an urban legend, but of course for the movie it's real. All we see is a van with a large antenna broadcasting from the top of a hill.

So Angelica lets all her angst and venom out to the Oracle, a woman who follows when the man invites the needy to call in and talk to her. She basically wishes all her enemies will eat dirty worms and die and... well, that's pretty much the movie. Be careful what you wish for, blah blah blah. Some unseen entity inhabits the partygoers one by one (oh yeah, she sneaks out and goes to the party anyway) and people die until she is the only one left - and off to jail for killing all her friends. 

The radio (you know this is foreign - they still listen to the radio) is upside down on the floor. Upside down the station appears as 666. Then a paramedic, even though this is a CRIME SCENE picks up the radio and puts it on the counter. Nice.

Her parents, who were out for the night are shown in an open hotel room - well, a bloody hand is shown - we assume they're dead too. We also see that the Oracle and the announcer are the same person (one hand is male, the other obviously female, that's all we see of, umm, it) and as the sun rises, the antenna goes back into the van and it drives off, waiting for the next full moon. Massive duh.


Unrest (2006): Now I KNOW I've seen a foreign film just like this one about a group of medical students who suffer mysterious deaths after they start working on a cadaver who's spirit is apparently 'not at rest'. I can't find it now for the life of me (sorry for that). I also know it was a hell of a lot better than this sorry mess. This one is supposedly of a woman who was some sort of archaeologist in Brazil who disturbed thousands of Aztecs souls in a dig (They're probably pissed off because Aztecs belong in Mexico.) who went psycho, became a prostitute, a killer and finally commits suicide.

So these hapless students cut her up, noticing that she moves every once in a while, seems warm to the touch, and oh yeah, they start to die. And proper medical protocol (as well as continuity) goes right out the window. I'm actually surprised they actually bothered with gloves. We're talking about people spraying others in the face with body fluids (don't ask) and no one is wearing masks, people touching the body then touching other people, etc. Yuck. 

The corpse couldn't decide whether to keep its eyes closed or open - it's different in a lot of scenes. In the end, when of course one girl who lives in the hospital because she can't afford a dorm (which I swear was in the other movie too) cuts up the body to drag it to the incinerator, we get a reappearing/disappearing blood trail as the camera keeps cutting away... oh brother.


The only interesting thing was the info on the movie: The film was shot in a real morgue, where the cast experienced some haunting dreams. The trailer claims that real bodies were used. However, this is not the first film to use real bodies. In the 1982 film Poltergeist, in the scene where the mother falls into the pool and the skeletons attack her, the skeletons used were real, and were buried in the spot of the set. Likewise, in the 1987 Hong Kong film Men Behind the Sun, a genuine child's body was used for an autopsy scene.

And they left out that in the movie Apocalypse Now, Francis Ford Coppola wanted an 'authentic' war feel although it was made in The Phillipines and so there are real bodies strewn throughout that movie also.

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I HATE CREATURE FEATURES - GIMMIE ZOMBIES AND PSYCHOS EVERY TIME



Crawlspace (2012) Australia

I'm not supposed to be doing this movie, I'm supposed to cover another creature feature (actually several) with Tim Forston who's wit is almost equal to my own (heh heh) - a little flick called Tremors. Buuut, you know, life happens, we get sidetracked, more life happens and here we are months later. Whoops. 

I kept passing this movie over since I was sure I'd already seen it until I noticed the year of the movie. Remake? Ah crap, does it have Colin Farrell in it too? (I'm probably one of the few women in the world who shudders with disgust when I see him) and since the movie I think I saw from 1986 wasn't good enough to see what they'd done to it.

Fortunately this is a whole 'nother movie, made in Australia who's not really known for great horror. Unless they have killer dingos or something. No, I'm not being racist, it's just that every one I've seen takes place in the outback with some sort of rabid... whatever.

This is about a bunch of commandos who have to penetrate a secret military base that's been 'compromised' but they're not told how or why. If you see this movie I say prepare to see a lot of Species, Splice, or any other movie where they're messing with the human genome trying to make something 'better' than human. And they always fail. Duh.

So they show up not having any idea what they'll find and they start dying by the handful right away. And most of them by their own hands or their buddy's. The lead team comes upon a woman and are prepared to waste her as she's marked as one of the 'prisoners' they keep there but the lead man, Romeo (oh that's original) stops them because she's his dead wife. He thinks. Pretty positive. Maybe. 

She, in turn, has no memory at all but she gets 'flashes' of a life with him so she follows the team as it becomes apparent (and hope your not claustrophobic 'cause a lot of this movie occurs in ventilation ducts) that the military have been doing naughty things down in this hole.

They lose more people fighting a mutant gorilla (duh) that just won't die. And Romeo is trying to find out how his wife, Eve (ah come on!) could be here, participating in this experiment when she's supposed to be dead. Very dead. He's 100 percent sure because... wait for it...

They encounter the remnants of the scientists who were running the show and we get our typical and totally non-original idea - they were attempting to take people who already had a bit of psi talent and make them into total weapons. The leader even asserts that such people are already around important world leaders to keep other people from messing with their minds (can we have some here 'cause I think.. well that's not important). 

How do you know when one of these super-psi's are controlling you? In the same dull way movies always show - the affected person's nose starts bleeding. Duh. Oh and she makes a weird noise - the CC called it a 'purring sound'. Not quite but whatever - oh yeah and her eyes go black. Massive duh on lack of creativity here.

The scientists on the Genesis project (okay they weren't even trying with the names, were they?) try to convince Romeo that the woman he's protecting was a powerful psi who was also totally psychotic and chose experimentation over prison. She will do anything to protect herself - including posing as Romeo's wife. Besides, he remembers what happened to her, why she died. right?

Okay this movie isn't worth going on and on so let's get to the punchline: Eve is not Romeo's wife (duh) and when he concentrates REAL hard (you can almost see the smoke) he realizes his wife looked totally different, besides she's dead - 'cause he killed her. She was marked as a traitor and he was ordered to kill her to prove his loyalty. They tell him she was innocent (how they know I have no idea). So all eventually die except for Romeo and Eve. 

Eve wants to see the engagement ring he was going to give the REAL woman he loved and, realizing that she's a monster (finally!) he pulls out a ring - on the grenade on his vest. He blows up but she escapes 'cause hey, we've got one more little twist that's so tired it's almost funny. She gets out of the compound as it explodes and NOW remembers that part of her brain was removed and part of a brain belonging to an alien life form was put inside. Now she just needs to remember the line; 'My name is Alice. I worked for the Umbrella Corporation.' and she's good to go.

Sorry, that's how dumb it was and you had to get through the whole movie to find that out. Yikes.

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