GAAAAA - I REFUSE TO WATCH THAT MOVIE 'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S GONNA SUCK AND I HATE 'CHILDREN-FRIENDLY' ZOMBIE MOVIES AND I HATE BRAD PITT AND I HATE CGI AND... OH HELL, I JUST WATCHED THAT MOVIE! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?




World War Z (2013) UK/US Unrated Version

I love it when my husband decides to help me with reviews. We have one of "those" conversations:

He: You said you weren't going to watch that.

She: (Shrugging) It's on Netflix so I might as well.

He: You said it sucked.

She: It does.

He: Then why watch it?

She: (Attempting to point to name of blog, realizing blog is nowhere in sight, puts finger down.) Because it's here and I admit I'm kind of curious as to why so many people were so pissed at this movie.

He: But Brad Armpit is in it.

I like this one...

She: Yeah, I know.

He: He can't act.

She: (Sighs)

He: He's got two expressions and that's it.

She: I know, I know. He has smooth forehead and blank expression or wrinkled forehead and blank expression.

He: So what's the difference between the unrated and the PG-13 versions?

She: About six minutes.

He: You said CGI'd zombie movies were...

She: I KNOW!

He: (Sits down and gets comfortable.) Well, start it up.

Nice matte painting...

For those who say the movie is not anything like the book (and it's not - the only thing that the two have in common is the title and some zombies) - the movie The Shining was not Stephen King's, it was Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. AND since Max Brooks sold the rights to his book to Brad Pitt's production company 'Plan B Productions' instead of overseeing a screenplay, it's not his anymore either. 

So here is BRAD PITT'S WORLD WAR Z, both PG-13 and unrated versions currently streaming on Netflix. And don't whine about the freaking thing having no REALD 3D (whatever the hell that is) - this was so bad that even though Netflix only costs $7.99 a month, I was tempted to demand my money back.

I put the title all in caps 'cause PITT is in almost every scene and it's obvious this is merely a massive ego trip. And we begin: The movie isn't even on for a single minute and already it's trying to make us feel guilty and responsible for the Zombie takeover - we ruined everything enough for the dead to get pissed and decide to take us out. In ONE MINUTE.

The "crowded" street look a la CGI

It's horrible from the very beginning - with good reason. And don't believe what you read in the IMDb about what happens and who says what - they had almost more mistakes than the movie did. Some things were obviously wrong or couldn't be verified, other mistakes they just plain missed. In fact, this freaking review took so long because of all the errors that I could have written a whole new screenplay. I should have - it would have been a hell of a lot better. 

PITT (I refuse to give character names, this is the PITT show) is driving his wife and two kids (one with asthma so you know at some point she's not going to have an inhaler, because that's a movie rule) through a packed Philadelphia street (which is nowhere in the US but in Glasgow, Scotland - like we wouldn't notice the UK traffic lights). 

View from back of PITT's silver car...

Then the continuity errors and just plain stupid stuff start instantly. Even without my husband there (he's got an eye for errors and is very helpful with that sort of stuff) it was plain that they didn't even TRY to make things right. Traffic is stopped cold, the whole street is a parking lot. But when a cop on a motorcycle stops to talk to PITT he's mowed down by a garbage truck speeding through... apparently the fourth dimension because there certainly ain't no room for it in the third.

...aaaaand the nice clean front view...

This garbage truck continues without slowing down or sustaining any damage to the front and supposedly continuing to plow its way through cars, although there was no way it could even get that far. Even though it knocked the cars to the side, since this is Scotland, I guess people were too polite to leave it that way, because looking back at PITT's car we see all the cars are neatly parked, none have been squished or moved, and traffic still fills the entire street. Nice and tidy.

Why does her phone show a whole different street?

And the truck, whose driver is inexplicably pumping the gas peddle (if he can't stop, why isn't he pumping the brakes or at least turning off the engine?) continues to flip cars right and left with the engine wound to the nuts (at least in the Foley studio) and yet they come back down perfectly and are still in their designated lanes. This is not an auspicious start to this horrid thing. FIVE MINUTES HAVE NOT EVEN PASSED.

PITT, in movie wisdom, also winds HIS car to the nuts (in the Foley studio) and drives five miles an hour behind the garbage truck. There is now not a single car on the road, no people, no crashed cars, no debris, only those parked diagonal (they were parallel before) on each side of the road.

As PITT continues this mad ride of 5 mph, the garbage truck continues to plow through the cars - as long as you look one way, because when the camera shoots from the opposite angle, there is NOTHING. On the sidewalk is a woman with her smart phone recording this non-emergency - or it would have if she'd been on the SAME street 'cause nothing matches up.

Ladies and gentlemen... the battery powered fish tank!

Why am I describing to death the first five minutes of the movie? BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY THIS MOVIE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE. They got a book that they ignored, made up a ridiculous story, were given millions of dollars to dink around with, and we get crap. IT. SHOULD. NOT. HAVE. BEEN. MADE.

But PITT is saving his family, right? Umm, no. See, the street in Scotland they decided to use has very recognizable storefronts, plus way back at the intersection is another very recognizable building. In other words, according to the landmarks, they have gone NOWHERE.

By the time they FINALLY GET ONE BLOCK AWAY we see police officers just standing around, and police cars clearly parked to keep people out of the filming area. Wow. This is the worst beginning of a movie I've ever seen in my life. We have TWO HOURS of movie to go. My hubby says it was like watching a steaming pile for two hours. Envision that how you wish.

The first zombies finally show up, snarling and biting. In a convenient plot device (this is PITT's ego trip after all), PITT's daughter has a stuffed toy that counts to twelve, just the number of seconds it takes a bitten human to turn into a zombie. How convenient. These are your sprinting, parkour zombies that are only interested in running, jumping, knocking people down and biting them. Not eating, just biting. No blood, no gore, no taffy pulling in THIS piece of crap.

Hmm... where did PITT go? And why
is that ambulance driver wearing stunt clothes?

PITT shows off his impressive driving skills as he weaves through traffic that isn't there while turning around constantly and yelling at his kids (Don't make me pull over or...) - pfffft. Their car is hit on the driver's side by an ambulance - which appears, disappears, then appears again during the scene, then takes off without even slowing down (we think - if it was still there). Then the scene is finally, thankfully, over.

PITT is called back from retirement by somebody important (we assume) back to duty because apparently they want him out of the country to stop doing all of this dumb shit stuff. PITT, as it turns out (or as they wrote it), was a former UN Investigator. What the hell is that? Did he investigate war crimes? Violation of civil rights? Teaching forehead wrinkling 101?

Even PITT's boss doesn't get the
 concept of a satellite phone...

The government, or United Nations, or whoever the hell is in charge now, tells PITT if he doesn't do what they want, his family will be dropped right back into Philly (The sandwich? Great, now I'm hungry.), instead of lounging on the U.N. Command Ship, U.S.S Argus. The name of the ship apparently changed several times through several scripts but the Argus it is.

Wait a moment, I'm getting a little verklempt. Here, I'll give you a topic: The Argus is neither an aircraft carrier, nor a command ship nor an American ship. It's officially used as a hospital/mortuary ship by the British Royal Fleet Auxiliary. Discuss.

Okay, I'm feeling better now. He's given a satellite phone so he can keep in touch with his wife. His family are given the magic blankets so you know they will be all right.

This guy lives for about five minutes...

And we finally begin the movie (maybe). They've decided to send PITT on a tour around the world to find patient zero I guess, or at least a way to kill what is already dead. DUUUUUUH. Uh oh, PITT is worried, his forehead just wrinkled. PITT is put on a plane (don't even ask me to tell you all the things wrong with the plane please, I think my computer's about to crash from the DUH) with somebody who's supposed to be a leading authority on world diseases - and who will help them find a vaccine. This is Dr. Fassbach, an inexperienced virologist from Harvard. 

Dr. Fassbach's main argument for explaining zombies and the presence of a virus is the example of the Spanish Flu, a nasty wave of pestilence that swept the world. Now he gives figures, which were misquoted everywhere I looked so first I wrote down what he said, then started hunting. I had to - my brain was shutting down from an overload of DUH and looking at PITT's forehead.

So. Different sources (colleges, wiki, etc.) give different dates on when the Spanish Flu was active. The consensus is from 1918 (the end of WWI, how nice) to the beginning of 1920. Statistics on how many died were difficult - this was world-wide and they didn't have the reporting and recording capabilities of today so the total population that perished is anywhere from 3% to 5% of the world.

So Dr. Fassbach's data is a bit off - he says the Spanish Flu didn't exist in 1918. Um, yes it did. He then says by 1920 it killed 3% of the world. Okay, close enough. He bores us with the story of how this zombie outbreak is Mother Nature's fault. Wait a second - they just spent the first part of the movie saying WE did this - WTH? But he explains: "Mother Nature is a serial killer. No one's better. More creative. But like all serial killers, she can't help the urge to want to get caught. What good are all those brilliant crimes if no one takes the credit? So she leaves crumbs (clues). She's a bitch."

The infamous wall climb, pre-CGI...

Nice guy. Real compassionate. But that's okay, because as soon as they land in S. Korea (uh, don't ask why please), this idiot who was specifically told to keep his finger off of the trigger of his pistol doesn't so he slips, falls, and shoots himself in the head. First good thing to happen in the whole movie. 

Look like cheap plastic army guys, right?

Apparently PITT wanted to be the only hero so the other guy had to go. Oh well, they'll just keep flying - even though there's no real airports, gas or... shit, never mind. Their next stop: Jerusalem, because they built a freaking huge wall around the entire city a week before the outbreak. They knew it was coming? That's some pretty fast work. And impossible. And stupid. And why does PITT have to fly there to look at it?

Nope, still looks fake...

We figured that there could only be so many zombies that weren't CGI'd so they'd do some recycling - and they did. We had some mild amusement pointing at the screen every time we saw a zombie we'd already seen get mowed down pop up in another scene.

And it just keeps getting stupider. While PITT is there, some woman (thanks a lot, blame it on us) grabs a microphone and starts singing a song of thanks (...all in all we're just another brick... no wait, that wasn't it). Well gee whiz, in this version zombies go absolutely bat-shit crazy when they hear loud sounds so... ever seen a bunch of ants try to get across water? Hundreds die so that others can climb over them and get across safely. Yup, that's what we have here. On a computer somewhere. And if I ever find that IT Tech dropout that did this CGI work I'm going to kick his ass.

See? Smooth forehead - he's not
worried. I think. It's hard to tell.

Oh, speaking of zombie piles, you know the plastered-all-over-the-entire-damn-world movie poster of WWZ that shows the pile of zombies taking down a helicopter? Never happened. Ever. A helicopter did crash - it was near a roof and some zombies jumped on the runners. DUH.

So here come the Rakshasas. Hmm? Oh, small lesson for today to put some smarts back in since the DUH has ripped so much out... Rakshasas are Hindu demons that sort of have backward hands who eat human flesh. Meh, close enough to a zombie. To show a bit of a human factor and interest (WAY TOO LATE), PITT saves and drags along a female soldier he had to slice one bitten hand off of to keep her from becoming infected, through the rest of the movie for no discernible reason. And the script writers create a clue... the zombies want fresh, healthy meat - just to bite, not to eat. This is a kid-friendly movie (Pfffft!) so there will be NO TAFFY PULLING ALLOWED. They pass the sick and the elderly. YAY! Empty out the old folks home and... sorry, just kidding.

...must be afraid of heights...

PITT has to make another trip to Cardiff, Wales where the last remaining WHO (World Health Organization) is, even though there's no way the plane... never mind. Somehow zombies got on the plane, so PITT does the only natural thing - he throws a grenade. Natch. It causes the plane to crash, and in the realm of incredible coincidences, not only are PITT and the female soldier the only survivors of the plane full of people, they crashed in Wales. They make it to the WHO (Behind Blue Eyes is MY favorite), listening to the sound of cicadas. There are no cicadas in Wales. Bugger.

While at the fake-cicada filled Wales, PITT recovers from a wound from blowing up the damned plane. Meanwhile, PITT tries to maintain contact with his wife with the satellite phone. He's in some WHO bunker, she's down inside the fake command ship. Do we see the problem here? Do I really have to explain this one? SATELLITE phone? Anywho, when PITT disappears, the mucky mucks in charge say okay PITT family he's dead so you're worthless - off you go. Nice guys.

Uh oh, wrinkled forehead, I think we're in trouble...

Then they find out PITT is still alive dammit. Whoops. They have to tell him they jettisoned his family (sorry 'bout that dude). He's pissed but still has a job to do. They wrote him a way in the script to figure it all out. So PITT's big plan is get everybody really sick with diseases so the zombies don't eat 'em, kill the zombies (Again?), then heal themselves. Oooh, I would soooo want to do that. PITT volunteers to go into the zombie-infested area where all of the world's diseases are conveniently kept in one small room.

How come the zombie looks more alive than PITT?

One dried apple of a zombie checks him out so he's gotta inject himself now with something (I hope it's nasty). He uses a needle out of a drawer that has no packaging and looks like it's made of metal. How old is this thing? He'll die of tetanus before the pathogen hits. But the zombie no longer wants his body. Neither does anybody else. Except maybe Brangelina - for now.

Nice of 'em to include the boy,
considering they got his parents killed.

He gets back to the others and dammit he'd injected himself with a pathogen with a cure (and gets a tiny sterile needle too) so... yeah. We have a happy ending as he's reunited with his family in Nova Scotia as they set it up for the inevitable sequel - there's still zombies to fight, humans to save and, of course, more PITT expressions to not see. Because you saw the two of them. And that's all there is. Always.

MOVIES YOU KEEP PASSING UP AND FINALLY WEAR DOWN AND GET DESPERATE FOR SOMETHING TO WATCH SO ALTHOUGH YOU RECORDED IT REPEATEDLY AND ERASED IT NOW THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IT IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND BUT THANK GOODNESS NETFLIX FINALLY HAS IT AND NOW YOU GET TO SEE IF YOU MISSED ANYTHING AND DANG IT YOU ACTUALLY DID







Doghouse (2009) UK

This movie played on the IFC channel at least four or five times that I can remember - each time I looked at the premise which was a group of men go for a guy's weekend and end up in a town full of ravenous female cannibals. Ick. To me it was The Hangover with cannibals. I dumped it - each time. The last thing I wanted to see was some misogynistic English movie with whiny guys in it. But then I heard it was actually pretty good. And then, of course, I couldn't find it to save my life. Ah, thank you Netflix!


So we've got a group of guys with one thing in common - in one way or another, their chosen one is giving them grief. One has just gone through a divorce, the others have their own troubles with their partners. In fact each one goes off to the sound of his partner screaming at him. Nice. So one of them has a grandmother with a large house that will be empty while she's on a cruise. 

It's in a small town in the middle of nowhere and seems perfect. The village, Moodley, also has a woman to man ratio of 4 to 1 - so I guess they might be shopping for new partners while they're there. They hire a bus with a driver since drinking is a big part of the weekend. One of their party is chronically late and they leave without him, leaving him to find his way to the town on his own quite a bit later.


So we have Vince, Neil, Mikey, Graham, Matt, Patrick and Banksy, the terminally late friend who doesn't show up until much later. When they reach Moodley they're struck by how quiet everything is and how there's absolutely no one around - certainly not the bunch of women they were expecting. 

While exploring they see a young girl being beaten by some military type. They try to rescue her but she ends up stabbing one of them in the hand (don't worry about names - you can't keep score without a program and I couldn't keep track and I saw the movie). And they see her face.


Not too shabby of a makeup job, this girl obviously has something very, very wrong with her. Now they keep saying cannibal but I say zombie - the only distinction is that in this movie, it's only the women that get infected and the men that get eaten. 

Whether this is a commentary on how these guys escaped from one 'maneater' just to have to confront others, eh, maybe. They run back to their bus but their driver, also female, is infected - meaning whatever is doing it is in the air since she never left the bus.

The soldier comes to and through gentle persuasion (small laugh) he admits that the whole town had been chosen for an experiment by the army to develop a biological weapon to wage war against countries without using soldiers - by having the women eat the men. Nice. 

But of course something went wrong - the men-haters turned out to be much stronger than they imagined and they overpowered everyone (and ate them too). Sure enough, the men see that these, uh, ah hell I'm calling 'em zombies still have a small retention of who they were as they still occupy some of their shops or the tools of their trade.

Aaaaand here's where some of the movie falls apart for me. This town has some of the weirdest women on the planet - and I'm not sure that they were trying to say they were always that way or were made that way by the experiment. The leather-and-high-heels look of a lot of them, one in a very revealing wedding gown (torn and bloody of course) reminds me of how some guys think we girls are going to look fighting zombies after the Apocalypse. 

And where the hell did all those weapons come from? I'm talking swords and other things that look like they came out of a museum. I sincerely doubt a small town in the middle of absolute nothing is going to be full of S&M women in tight outfits and medieval weapons but...


Women suddenly smell and hear fresh meat and come out from all over and the men scatter. Now we see them begin to really interact with each other as they try to simulate how it might be when we're all separated into small groups - who will be brave, who will be cowardly, and in this movie, who will be funny. In a way it was kind of like they were trying to be like Shaun Of The Dead but they don't quite make it. They made the effort though.

Now the men are in a butcher shop, toy store, and clothing shop. One gets trapped on a billboard (A billboard in a dink town in the middle of nowhere? I doubt that.), one goes into what he thinks is an empty house but is actually owned by an obese woman who seems to be more horny than hungry - but that doesn't stop her from cutting off one of his fingers and eating it in front of him. 

He escapes and, along with some of the others go into the church, that's safe, right? I have no idea why in movies people think that, for whatever reason, bad things won't happen in a church.

In this church happens to be the command center of the experiment - empty and covered in blood. One guy is a computer expert (of course) and somehow manages to get the system on line. That's when they find that the woman running for mayor had sold out her town by allowing the experiment to happen and the agent to be put in the washing powder (that's pretty sexist... never mind). 

She finds out they are NOT the men she was expecting and blows the computer system. There is a good news/bad news scenario, says the army dude. The bad news is the women will mutate into what he calls Phase 2 in which they will be faster, meaner, and smarter (in other words, they transform from Romero types to the sprinting, parkour types). 

The good news is they prepared for this contingency and made a sonar type of sound that the psycho zombies can't stand - in fact it freezes them into place. As the women change (it was almost like watching a werewolf change) he confidently hits the big red button on a metal box.

Nothing happens. That's... not surprising. And they're coming... fast. The soldier, still hitting on the red button, is killed by Mikey's grandmother, who did NOT go on the cruise like he thought. One of the others kills her with a golf club. He feels really bad about doing that to a grandmother and wanders off, only to be killed by one of the faster, smarter zombies. 

The rest continue on down into the basement - and find out where all the men in town have gone. The zombies have set up a 'nest' in the basement made solely of pieces of the bodies. They try to barricade themselves in, but if you've seen even one zombie movie, you know how effective that is.

The extremely late Banksy finally gets to town. He finds his friends on the roof of the church and, of course, doesn't believe them in the slightest until he gets his first look at these S&M type zombies and runs to get them a ladder to get down. 

Being generally movie stupid, two more die even as they reach the only car that works - a Smart car - that they won't fit into. That soon doesn't matter as Banksy, poor bastard, is killed off. So we have three guys left. And the crowd of ravenous zombies is closing in...

Suddenly they all stop and just stand there twitching. One of the guys, who they had believed to be dead, had found the magic box and fixed it. He contacts them by walkie talkie and they get him. Again, being movie stupid, instead of beating cleats out of there, they decide to play with the women for a while - until of course one of them drops the damn thing and breaks it. 

Uh oh. Ya know, I don't know if it's because I'm a woman or because I'm kind of prejudiced towards English horror films, but I think they made these guys unbelievably stupid. I mean ruining-the-movie kind of stupid. Oh well, it's almost over.

Unable to use the car (don't ask) they throw the one who escaped the church into a conveniently placed shopping cart and they run off laughing. I'm. Not. Kidding. That's the end of the movie. Laughing.

So as far as storyline goes, I was not impressed. The men were, as I mentioned, way too movie stupid to even have lived as long as they did, and the setup was not close to believable - even for a zombie movie. But I will admit, the makeup and costumes on the zombies was pretty damn good. 

Especially when they became 'Phase 2' zombies with the superlong fingernails and morphed faces (don't forget all the leather and heels). Not nearly as good as Shaun Of The Dead by a long shot, but still worth a look. One.

THE PITFALLS OF PIGEONHOLING ANYONE OR ANYTHING (OR HOW TO/NOT TO MAKE A ZOMBIE MOVIE)




State Of Emergency (2013) & Infected (2013)

I'd like to talk about music for just a moment. Why? Because hey, it's my blog and I wanna, okay? For years my favorite band probably had a median fan age of about 16. But they quit. And I was devastated. Okay they were a 'young persons' type of band, but I was hooked harder than with any band ever. Now I'm not alone, there have been much better (and tons more talented) bands whose breakups devastated a ton of people. 


The Beatles. Led Zepplin. Pink Floyd. Eagles. Boston. Many who thought they'd be around always now listen to them with a kind of sadness. I know I do with the band whose name I will no longer say (Now that's childish, right?). Now there is a band that is from my home town - their name is Sunderland and their music is very clean pop music, no autotuning crap, no one phrase repeated endlessly. In fact they've even done some covers that I consider (with a little bit of prejudice) to be better than the originals.

Hood River's own Sunderland

They're just babies (to me) but already they've been able to open for bands like Panic! At The Disco and Weezer. Not bad when they're barely legal to step inside a bar. Since then they've moved to California (rats), released several albums, and done several covers which, to me, are better than the original. Two of my favorites is Demons by Imagine Dragons and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift (BTW, somebody stop dumping that chick so she doesn't write anymore songs about it, 'kay?).

Now I mention them because no, I am not obsessed with them (I AM proud of them though) but because I was insulted by a newspaper article in our home town that said if you're under 25 you've probably never heard of Sunderland. Excuse me? But it wasn't the first time my (ahem) advanced age has caused me to be dismissed as liking something or someone.

The aforementioned band I WAS addicted to had concerts where I was crushed by tons of young people, but hey, there were a few close to my age too - music has no age, sex or race. Why am I babbling? Let's segue (very sloppily) to the Twilight series... I myself have been guilty of scoffing and saying it's a lot of crap only fit for teenage girls under 16. 

That's not really fair (even if the opinion is VERY popular) because everyone has their own interests and style and shouldn't be judged because of them. I learned that lesson very well with my fave band. Words like 'emo' 'punk wannabes' and other not-so-nice labels were given those listening to them yet here I am - a middle aged woman who liked them a little too much.

Okay finally we get to my point - zombie movies. The same applies to what kind of zombie movie appeals to what kind of person. Some people really loved the new movie Warm Bodies (a kind of Twilight with zombies) while others scoffed (yes I admit it I did too) that it was weak sauce. Now The Walking Dead, THAT'S a real adult type zombie series that (insert personal reasons to love it and please no Norman Reedus comments).

Okay I have a mind blowing statement that you will or will not agree with - our likes and dislikes are based on what kind of emotions we have kicking around our subconscious. And those in the entertainment field know that very well. Hate me if you want, but zombie movies are, well, soap operas with dead people in them. BLASPHEMY!!!! I know, sounds pretty sucky doesn't it? 

Think about it though - people liked Warm Bodies because despite the insurmountable problems it was a soap opera with dead people. People are addicted to The Walking Dead - every episode is watched, discussed, picked apart. In the end though, it's a soap opera - with dead people interfering here and there.

Before you chuck flaming things at my house, think about it - each week our TWD family face peril, try to find some normalcy and a decent life in the midst of a horrible world, fall in love, oh and slaughter, stomp and shoot arrows through the head of some zombies. If the human drama element wasn't there, it would be an hour each week just watching zombies blow apart. Not... really a big draw for most people.

So - finally to the two newish zombie movies I just watched and why I took so long to get around to them. Well, there really isn't much to either one of them - except one was a soap opera with maybe five zombies in the whole damn movie. The other was a ton of zombies with a bit of soap opera mixed in. Ick on the first, not bad on the second.

State Of Emergency (2013): This movie was slower than watching an ant try to walk his way through honey. Plus there was so much CGI that even when there was any zombie violence it was... meh. We've got a man who's immediately lost his love but continues to survive through this localized emergency as his town goes nuts after a chemical plant blows and people (but only most) getting a dose of it start turning on each other and the whole town becomes a buffet. 

That's what we're told, mostly through narrative - not something we see. So this guy finds some other survivors and basically most of the movie is four people in a warehouse. Zombies? Oh there's out there somewhere. Standing. Very. Still. Two original points: One, the zombies have eyes that are redder than red. Two, one actually talked - complete sentences and everything. 

This movie I think tried very hard to present the toll on our humanity if faced with this kind of horror but instead all it did was make you wait and wait and wait for something to happen and... damn, the credits run. Movie over..

Infected (2013): I chose this one for Michael Madsen, a fave character of mine - I wanted to see how he's holding up agewise and I'm pleased to say he looks very, very good. In this zombie flick it's the different flu bugs responsible - they start mutating, the sickness makes its way up through the food chain until the humans are busy chomping each other with gusto. 

These are your fast, sprinting zombies. They're mean, they're hungry and they don't care if you're family or not. This movie also starred Christy Romano and I stared at that name and her face and KNEW that I had heard of her before but... the brain is mush. 

AHA! I didn't recognize her face or voice because she was all grown up - and I had only heard her voice on a cartoon I followed (I'm just a big kid) called Kim Possible. I LOVED that cartoon - she was Kim and it was crushing to watch in this movie first her eyeball then most of her face get demolished by her own grandmother. 



The movie does not have a happy ending for anyone - Michael Madsen gives the narrative for the ending (we don't see him so did he survive or... ?). This was a main problem with the movie - it's like they just ran out of ideas so Michael Madsen sums up. 


His son mainly is the survivor here and we see humanity living in an army-like barracks and try to make a life among the roaming dead. So we had good zombie action and some soap opera - a better mix. Not a very good movie, but definitely better than SOE.


But that's according to my tastes, yours may vary and you have every right to them.

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