THE PITFALLS OF PIGEONHOLING ANYONE OR ANYTHING (OR HOW TO/NOT TO MAKE A ZOMBIE MOVIE)




State Of Emergency (2013) & Infected (2013)

I'd like to talk about music for just a moment. Why? Because hey, it's my blog and I wanna, okay? For years my favorite band probably had a median fan age of about 16. But they quit. And I was devastated. Okay they were a 'young persons' type of band, but I was hooked harder than with any band ever. Now I'm not alone, there have been much better (and tons more talented) bands whose breakups devastated a ton of people. 


The Beatles. Led Zepplin. Pink Floyd. Eagles. Boston. Many who thought they'd be around always now listen to them with a kind of sadness. I know I do with the band whose name I will no longer say (Now that's childish, right?). Now there is a band that is from my home town - their name is Sunderland and their music is very clean pop music, no autotuning crap, no one phrase repeated endlessly. In fact they've even done some covers that I consider (with a little bit of prejudice) to be better than the originals.

Hood River's own Sunderland

They're just babies (to me) but already they've been able to open for bands like Panic! At The Disco and Weezer. Not bad when they're barely legal to step inside a bar. Since then they've moved to California (rats), released several albums, and done several covers which, to me, are better than the original. Two of my favorites is Demons by Imagine Dragons and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift (BTW, somebody stop dumping that chick so she doesn't write anymore songs about it, 'kay?).

Now I mention them because no, I am not obsessed with them (I AM proud of them though) but because I was insulted by a newspaper article in our home town that said if you're under 25 you've probably never heard of Sunderland. Excuse me? But it wasn't the first time my (ahem) advanced age has caused me to be dismissed as liking something or someone.

The aforementioned band I WAS addicted to had concerts where I was crushed by tons of young people, but hey, there were a few close to my age too - music has no age, sex or race. Why am I babbling? Let's segue (very sloppily) to the Twilight series... I myself have been guilty of scoffing and saying it's a lot of crap only fit for teenage girls under 16. 

That's not really fair (even if the opinion is VERY popular) because everyone has their own interests and style and shouldn't be judged because of them. I learned that lesson very well with my fave band. Words like 'emo' 'punk wannabes' and other not-so-nice labels were given those listening to them yet here I am - a middle aged woman who liked them a little too much.

Okay finally we get to my point - zombie movies. The same applies to what kind of zombie movie appeals to what kind of person. Some people really loved the new movie Warm Bodies (a kind of Twilight with zombies) while others scoffed (yes I admit it I did too) that it was weak sauce. Now The Walking Dead, THAT'S a real adult type zombie series that (insert personal reasons to love it and please no Norman Reedus comments).

Okay I have a mind blowing statement that you will or will not agree with - our likes and dislikes are based on what kind of emotions we have kicking around our subconscious. And those in the entertainment field know that very well. Hate me if you want, but zombie movies are, well, soap operas with dead people in them. BLASPHEMY!!!! I know, sounds pretty sucky doesn't it? 

Think about it though - people liked Warm Bodies because despite the insurmountable problems it was a soap opera with dead people. People are addicted to The Walking Dead - every episode is watched, discussed, picked apart. In the end though, it's a soap opera - with dead people interfering here and there.

Before you chuck flaming things at my house, think about it - each week our TWD family face peril, try to find some normalcy and a decent life in the midst of a horrible world, fall in love, oh and slaughter, stomp and shoot arrows through the head of some zombies. If the human drama element wasn't there, it would be an hour each week just watching zombies blow apart. Not... really a big draw for most people.

So - finally to the two newish zombie movies I just watched and why I took so long to get around to them. Well, there really isn't much to either one of them - except one was a soap opera with maybe five zombies in the whole damn movie. The other was a ton of zombies with a bit of soap opera mixed in. Ick on the first, not bad on the second.

State Of Emergency (2013): This movie was slower than watching an ant try to walk his way through honey. Plus there was so much CGI that even when there was any zombie violence it was... meh. We've got a man who's immediately lost his love but continues to survive through this localized emergency as his town goes nuts after a chemical plant blows and people (but only most) getting a dose of it start turning on each other and the whole town becomes a buffet. 

That's what we're told, mostly through narrative - not something we see. So this guy finds some other survivors and basically most of the movie is four people in a warehouse. Zombies? Oh there's out there somewhere. Standing. Very. Still. Two original points: One, the zombies have eyes that are redder than red. Two, one actually talked - complete sentences and everything. 

This movie I think tried very hard to present the toll on our humanity if faced with this kind of horror but instead all it did was make you wait and wait and wait for something to happen and... damn, the credits run. Movie over..

Infected (2013): I chose this one for Michael Madsen, a fave character of mine - I wanted to see how he's holding up agewise and I'm pleased to say he looks very, very good. In this zombie flick it's the different flu bugs responsible - they start mutating, the sickness makes its way up through the food chain until the humans are busy chomping each other with gusto. 

These are your fast, sprinting zombies. They're mean, they're hungry and they don't care if you're family or not. This movie also starred Christy Romano and I stared at that name and her face and KNEW that I had heard of her before but... the brain is mush. 

AHA! I didn't recognize her face or voice because she was all grown up - and I had only heard her voice on a cartoon I followed (I'm just a big kid) called Kim Possible. I LOVED that cartoon - she was Kim and it was crushing to watch in this movie first her eyeball then most of her face get demolished by her own grandmother. 



The movie does not have a happy ending for anyone - Michael Madsen gives the narrative for the ending (we don't see him so did he survive or... ?). This was a main problem with the movie - it's like they just ran out of ideas so Michael Madsen sums up. 


His son mainly is the survivor here and we see humanity living in an army-like barracks and try to make a life among the roaming dead. So we had good zombie action and some soap opera - a better mix. Not a very good movie, but definitely better than SOE.


But that's according to my tastes, yours may vary and you have every right to them.

https://www.facebook.com/dumbandboringmovies

HULU SNOOZE PART QUATRE





Diary Of A Serial Killer aka Rough Draft (1998) / Freeway Killer (2010)


I have a rather extensive library on true crime. Forensics and the methodology of criminal science has always fascinated me. Not the violence or the sickness of the criminals, but the way they are eventually always (with very VERY few exceptions) are caught. And trust me, no matter how much CSI you watch or how smart you THINK you are, try to make your mark by committing acts against your fellow humans and you will get caught. 


And with perseverance and just plain hard work you will likely be caught a lot faster than in the past, all thanks to increased technology and the increased understanding on how the sick, twisted human mind can work. So why am I putting these two movies together? Well the first is a Hollywood version of how slick and smart serial killers are, and the second is the real life story of William Bonin, who definitely was not.




In the first you get a transvestite bar where a suspiciously familiar deep voiced blonde is fixing 'her' makeup in the mirror as others come in and out. 'She' notices several and is taping the conversations of all of them. When 'she' gets home we learn that it is.... <pfft> Gary Busey. And this is when people still thought he was sane. He plays an investigative reporter who really gets into his work. Unfortunately, he happens upon a murder. This murderer thinks he's pure evil and perfect and from what this movie portrays, he might as well be. He catches Busey and with some quick thinking, Busey's character convinces him to let Busey write his life story like he's a real hot shot. Really?

In the second, it is the story of William Bonin who was dubbed the 'Freeway Killer' (there were actually probably several that were responsible for those murders but for the movie, they just show him) and don't let the movie poster throw you off - he's a sorry, pansy ass sucker. Not the actor, the real Bonin. For this movie he's recounting his life of crime to the mother of one of his victims. That most likely didn't happen - at least I couldn't find a reference to it. 


They also 'tidied' up his story quite a bit - in this movie he just likes to recruit 'helpers' to get him young boys and strangle them - he seemed to like an audience and did have at different times three different guys helping him (they testified so they wouldn't get the death penalty) but the real story is gritty, ugly and well, not printable on my blog 'cause he doesn't deserve anything more said. The only thing I'll say about the movie is it was sanitized for your protection, tells you nothing about WHY he would do such terrible things, did let you know he died by lethal injection, and the movie starred our good friend Merle (Michael Rooker) from The Walking Dead as Detective St. John. That's about it.



Our transvestite-in-disguise movie shows what little Hollywood knows about real crime - geez, Busey practically puts this guy in the police's hands and they drop the ball, so to speak. In other words, they make this impotent killer of women (as well as transvestites) seem like Hannibal Lector - in other words, smarter than everyone and don't you tell him different. Even when it seems he's finally done the last scene shows Busey, busy signing books about his brush with death and one asks to have his book signed - and how the hell are we supposed to believe that Busey doesn't recognize the guy as the killer? Because it's Hollywood, that's why.

Which movie should you watch? Pffft, watch Oprah, you'll learn more and it'll be more real. That was a joke by the way. Is she still even on TV?

CHARACTER ACTORS YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN A LOT OF BUT DIDN'T REALIZE IT












Michael Madsen

Michael is another one of those actors that pops up frequently in movies. You instantly recognize him, even if you're not quite sure from where. This man has such a long list of accomplishments, again I suggest you Google him if you really want to know everything he's done. I've seen him in horror movies like Bloodrayne, tense thrillers like The Killing Jar and Kill Bill, and dozens of others. He is the brother of Virginia Madsen, which I didn't realize. They don't look much alike, do they? 

He not only appears in movies and television, but his voice can be found in several video games. And he is also multi-talented.

He's an accomplished poet, even winning a lifetime achievement award for his works. He is also a photographer and has published books containing his work. He also is a producer, director and writer.

And, like others I've mentioned he's broken that 'twenty-something and perfect' barrier and made some terrific movies, whether in a supportive or leading role. Yeah, he's gorgeous too.