Hello to all those faithfully reading and hopefully enjoying this effort to make even the worst horror movie more watcha... aw, screw that - I'm not that good. If a movie makes you cringe because yet another batch of unlikable teens that are pushing 30 are inching toward their deaths, having a party no one does anywhere ever, a paranormal movie is boring you to tears with unending pans of empty rooms, or thanks to CGI technology when people finally bite it, their blood squirts everywhere except on the victim, the ground, the people next to them... you're in good company and this is the right place for you.
Showing posts with label The ABC's Of Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The ABC's Of Death. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2015

FIRST, A WORD FROM ONE OF THE PRODUCERS OF THE ABC'S OF DEATH; THEN THE REVIEW OF THE ABC'S OF DEATH 2 - WATCH THIS IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME PLEASE...






A Producer Responds To News A Teacher Has Been Jailed For Screening 'The ABCs Of Death'

Todd Brown, Founder and Editor of Twitchfilm.com 


Note: The entire article can be found at http://twitchfilm.com/2015/03/a-producer-responds-to-news-a-teacher-has-been-jailed-for-screening-the-abcs-of-death.html

I'll be honest. When I first heard that substitute teacher Sheila Kearns was facing criminal charges for showing anthology horror project The ABCs Of Death - a project on which I am an associate producer - my response was one of curious incredulity.

That a 58 year old substitute teacher even know about this film was somewhat surprising, for one thing, and that she'd be foolish enough to show it multiple classes of high school students was surprising on a whole different level. The film's a lot of things, but educational? That's a stretch. But, really, the big reaction came from the prospect of legal consequences? They can't be serious, can they? Do the courts really have nothing better to do than press criminal charges against a woman for showing a film that premiered (at the Toronto International Film Festival)?...

...First of all, as a producer I'm proud of the film. When the project was conceived we envisioned something that would give creators complete creative freedom and we delivered that. Some chose to be transgressive and push the envelope of good taste. Some delivered bitingly funny pieces of comedy. Some delivered pieces that are strangely beautiful. And some delivered pieces that, frankly, individual producers didn't care for all that much but the mandate was freedom for creators and we treasured that above all else and so they all went in. That said, I'm also a parent to two children - a nearly 14 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. And these children will never see this film by my doing, not by my hand and/or not until they are significantly older. It was not made for them and is not appropriate for them.

This is why we have ratings boards - the film is rated R here in Canada, and absolutely correctly so - and those guidelines should have been respected... Parents SHOULD be outraged by Kearns behavior here. The film wasn't made for school viewing and should never have been shown there. As a parent, I would have been every bit as angry as the parents of Kearns' students had this film been shown to my children without my advance knowledge and approval and I am personally in full support of Kearns being fired for doing so. It's a monumental and phenomenal lapse of judgement.

But jail time? Really? That's just insane. Kearns did something stupid, not something criminal. In a world where those convicted of assault and other serious, violent crimes often never see the inside of a cell this woman is going to spend ninety days there for showing students a film that any one of them could have legally rented or purchased on their own? That's madness.

This case just strikes me as failure compounding failure, with Kearns' original failure of judgement being compounded by an even more egregious failure in the courts. I'm amazed it wasn't thrown out before it got to the judge and doubly so that the judge didn't have the good sense to throw it out the moment it got there. Remember that old 'two wrongs' saying? That very much applies...







The ABC's Of Death 2 (2014) US/New Zealand/Japan

"Somebody's gonna sue you." That I hear a lot because of my column. Nah, never happen, not in a country of free speech and equality. Unless you choose to show an 'R' rated movie to five classes worth of students. Oh wait, that teacher wasn't sued, she was jailed. So now it's "Somebody's gonna throw you in jail." And you know what? I can't just utter a disgusted noise and continue this time.

Not a person on earth could say what she did was particularly smart. Legal (Hint, hint - oh justice system, are you listening?), but not smart. And this is MY blog for those who are legally using their computers to read it. Know what was kind of funny? I was watching this sequel yesterday when the hubby pointed out the article about Sheila Kearns. Pffft. I was looking for a nugget or two for this review but you know - this is just the same as the first, 26 letters in the English alphabet, 26 directors (actually more than that since some had two but we'll get to that), for each letter. 


The results? Some of the segments weren't as good as the first movie, others were much better. But my main reason for watching the sequel was to see the Soska sisters and their segment, and was also pleased to see them do a cameo in another segment as well. Yes, I am a Soska fan, and their work just gets better and better.

So for this sequel I'm simply going to list the segment and let y'all take your own risks by watching this or not:


A is for Amateur (directed by E. L. Katz)

B is for Badger (directed by Julian Barratt)

C is for Capital Punishment (directed by Julian Gilbey)

D is for Deloused (directed by Robert Morgan (animator))

E is for Equilibrium (directed by Alejandro Brugués)

F is for Falling (directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado)

G is for Grandad (directed by Jim Hosking)

H is for Head Games (directed by Bill Plympton)

I is for Invincible (directed by Erik Matti)

J is for Jesus (directed by Dennison Ramalho)

K is for Knell (directed by Kristina Buozyte and Bruno Samper)

L is for Legacy (directed by Lancelot Odawa Imasuen)

M is for Masticate (directed by Robert Boocheck)

N is for Nexus (directed by Larry Fessenden)

O is for Ochlocracy (mob rule) (directed by Hajime Ohata)

P is for P-P-P-P SCARY! (directed by Todd Rohal)

Q is for Questionnaire (directed by Rodney Ascher)

R is for Roulette (directed by Marven Kren)

S is for Split (directed by Juan Martinez Moreno)

T is for Torture Porn (directed by Jen and Sylvia Soska)

U is for Utopia (directed by Vincenzo Natali)

V is for Vacation (directed by Jerome Sable)

W is for Wish (directed by Steven Kostanski)

X is for Xylophone (directed by Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo)

Y is for Youth (directed by Soichi Umezawa)

Z is for Zygote (directed by Chris Nash)


What in the world could these words mean in terms of a short story? Buy it, rent it, however you get it. Just don't watch it at school, please.



Thursday, March 5, 2015

WE NOW INTERRUPT THE TEPID DRAMA OF MISS MURDER'S TALE OF WOE TO TELL YOU THAT NOT ONLY CAN YOU GET HORRIBLE HEALTH CARE IN AMERICA, YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR WATCHING/SHOWING CERTAIN MOVIES TOO...





Well, She Should Have Watched It First... Oh, Wait - She Did?


(Associated Press): COLUMBUS, Ohio — A former substitute teacher convicted of showing a movie including graphic sex and violence to a high school class was sentenced on Wednesday to 90 days in jail.

Sheila Kearns, who was convicted in January of four felony counts, apologized in court, saying she hadn't watched the movie before showing it to her Spanish classes at Columbus' East High School in April 2013. 


The movie, "The ABCs of Death," consists of 26 chapters, each depicting some form of grisly death and representing a letter of the alphabet, such as "E is for Exterminate," ''O is for Orgasm" and "T is for Toilet."


Kearns, who showed the movie during five periods of the class, was convicted of disseminating matter harmful to juveniles. The Columbus Dispatch http://bit.ly/1M7CFUc reported the judge placed her on probation for three years but made the jail time a condition of probation.


Don't worry about the dog - this
segment had a sweet (if violent) ending...
Kearns, 58, contended she was unaware of the movie's content. Her attorney said she never would have knowingly showed it. But a student testified Kearns watched the 129-minute movie. The student said the movie was "disturbing" and said students in the class went "crazy" while watching it. An assistant principal who saw the DVD movie playing in the classroom confiscated it.

Prosecutors said the movie's title should have tipped off Kearns that she should check it out before showing it to her students, who ranged in age from 14 to 18. Miss Murder says why should that tip her off when parents will take children five and up to PG-13 movies? But....


Jurors watched the movie, which rates 4.7 out of 10 stars on the IMDb website, before convicting Kearns. After the conviction, the jury foreman said it wasn't proved at trial that Kearns was aware of the movie's content the first time she showed it but she would have known by the second, third, fourth and fifth showings.

Good thing she didn't show the sequel...




                      

Friday, June 21, 2013

WHAT IN THE BLOODY BLAZES DID I JUST WATCH?




The ABC's Of Death (2012) US/New Zealand

Originality in horror is incredibly hard to come by. Maybe that's why I thought I'd try this - the movie is basically a collection of 26 directors, each given a letter of the alphabet and allowed to do whatever short story they want. The results are - uneven but there are some really good moments and some really awful moments. 




Although there are some humorous shorts (including claymation and cartoon or cartoonish shorts) this is NOT for children. This is about death after all, and in some cases truly twisted and grisly. It is said they chose 25 directors and had a contest to pick who would be the 26th. That was the director of the claymation sequence.


They also do something that's a big no-no: They promise a sequel. That almost NEVER works but good luck to them. You will see anything from farting Japanese school girls (no I am NOT kidding) to a fight between a man and a dog that actually has a - well not a happy ending but a surprising one. 

Yes there are light moments - Adam Wingard, a director who has done films (well parts of them anyway) such as V/H/S stars in his own sequence, bitterly complaining that he got the letter 'Q' and feels it shows disrespect. 

There is toilet humor in abundance for those into that sort of thing. And lots and lots of gore. I don't know if they had budget constraints, but some obviously spent a whole lot more than others.

Oh and for my friends and their particular... umm... fears, yes, there are spiders and zombie clowns. Just letting you know.

It would take forever and make a short story unto itself if I attempted to explain each letter, so I'm just going to list them and the titles they represent (in the movie you don't get the title until the end of the movie so this may be a bit of a spoiler):

  • A is for Apocolypse
  • B is for Bigfoot
  • C is for Cycle
  • D is for Dogfight
  • E is for Exterminate
  • F is for Fart
  • G is for Gravity
  • H is for Hydro-electric Diffusion
  • I is for Ingrown
  • J is for Jidai-Geki (Samurai Movie)
  • K is for Klutz
  • L is for Libido
  • M is for Miscarriage
  • N is for Nupitals
  • O is for Orgasm
  • P is for Pressure
  • Q is for Quack
  • R is for Removed
  • S is for Speed
  • T is for Toilet
  • U is for Unearthed
  • V is for Vagitus (The cry of an infant)
  • W is for WTF! (I am NOT kidding)
  • X is for XXL
  • Y is for Youngbuck
  • Z is for Zetsumetsu (Extinction)


Watch with caution, watch with no expectations, and watch knowing you don't have to see the sequel (assuming there will be one) if you don't want to.

Japanese school girls (and trying to decipher Korean translations) are starting to look pretty good right now.