FULL SPEED AHEAD AND KEEP READING - AND THANK YOU ALL SO VERY, VERY MUCH!

"I'M THE NEXT GUY UP - AM I GONNA GET ALL SCREWED UP HERE?"

How Do YOU Like It?

The death penalty. Legal/illegal, humane/inhumane - there are many laws and opinions. Maybe the name of the penalty should be changed. Maybe it should be called the 'See, How Do YOU Like It' penalty? This penalty would require that the circumstances of the murder(s) be re-enacted upon the one convicted of the crime. Sounds fair to me, how about you?

People kind of forget (or just don't want to think) why criminals are being put to death in the first place - they caused the death of someone else (in many cases multiple times). People freaked when the latest to be executed took a reported 43 minutes to die and 'looked like he was in pain'. Nobody seemed to be asking (at least no article that one can find easily): How long did his victim(s) suffer? Is anyone concerned about that?

Right now Rusty Bucklew awaits execution. In 1996 in Missouri he shot Michael Sanders dead, the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend Stephanie Pruitt (as she was known then), left four young children alone (no one seemed to want to mention that at one point in her house he saw a six-year-old and decided to shoot him - fortunately he missed) and handcuffed, kidnapped, and tortured Stephanie for over five hours before a shootout with police ended his fun. Now he's frightened that his death won't be instant and painless...

On April 29, 2014, Clayton Lockett was executed in the state of Oklahoma by lethal injection. Something went wrong however - no one is saying exactly, but it took Lockett 43 minutes from the time the procedure started before he died of a massive heart attack.

In 1999, Lockett kidnapped, beat, and shot nineteen-year-old Stephanie Neiman and ordered an accomplice to bury her while she was still breathing. She died from two wounds from a shotgun fired by Lockett. How long did that take? Minutes? Hours? From what she suffered before she was finally murdered, it was most likely hours. In 2000, he was convicted of murder, rape, forcible sodomy, kidnapping, assault and battery and sentenced to death.

Forty-three minutes lying on a bed before dying doesn't sound quite so extreme now, does it?

The death penalty is hotly debated in the United States. Here people are not executed because of their political affiliation, religion, or as a penalty for some infraction that the current leaders of that country decides deserves death. They are put to death for causing the death of someone else - more than a few are executed for killing multiple victims.

Whether the death penalty is 'moral' or even 'just' is something I will not debate - the simple truth here is these men died for causing the death of someone else.

So many plea bargain their way into life in prison to avoid the death penalty. When that happens, we pay for them to be taken care of for life. That's room and board, food, medical and dental care, and in a lot of cases psychiatric care. And that's a hell of a lot more than I can get - hell, veterans aren't treated nearly this well. 

Close to Miss Murder's home is the case of Whitney Heichel of Gresham, Oregon. She was 21, married, liked by everyone she knew and never did a thing to harm anyone. Yet her neighbor, 25-year-old Jonathan Holt, who, with his wife, was friends of the couple, took Whitney by force, raped her, shot her multiple times, and hid her body in a wooded area.

This case hit people hard in more places than just Oregon. Holt, who had been questioned and denied everything before finally confessing, at first pleaded not guilty and it looked as if the case would not go to trial until 2015. However, Holt changed his mind. In July of 2013, he changed his plea to guilty to avoid the death penalty and was sentenced to life in prison without parole. 

The family of Heichel weren't seeking any kind of revenge for their daughter, wife, sister, friend - their strong faith in Jehovah God helped them and continues to help them through the worse crisis in their lives. It was the state that sought the death penalty - and the state that accepted the plea bargain.

That's just one victim - no, scratch that. Holt killed one person and ruined the lives of and devastated so many others. And yet he gets to live in relative comfort, for now. He will not die - at least not by the state.

So back to the upcoming execution of Rusty Bucklew. Is executing him inhumane, making the justice system as bad as the killer? Well, they're not torturing him for hours before shooting him, are they? He also gets to lie in a bed and, whether it takes five minutes or an hour, he's still getting a lot more humane treatment than he ever showed his victims. "It scares me," he said. So?

Bucklew is taking narcotic pain medication three or four times a day. His medical condition 'gives him cause to fear'. Cavernous hemangioma, a medical condition with which he has suffered from birth, makes clumps of malformed blood vessels grow in his head. Seeking an injunction on the execution, his attorneys said in a court filing last week that a “massive” tumor had taken over much of Bucklew’s nose, throat and airway.

What they're trying to argue is that this congenital condition that makes his circulation compromised might cause him to experience more pain than 'normal' during the execution and that is 'cruel and unusual punishment'.

Are we really supposed to feel bad for him? Humane or inhumane, just or unjust, the bottom line is that those on Death Row committed the ultimate crime - stealing a life that did not belong to them. Are we really going to argue that their lives are being 'stolen' by having the penalty be the loss of their lives, even if it takes more than one minute, or five, or fifteen, or an hour to complete?

Many are blaming a new combination of drugs of which the source and ingredients has not been made public - there's an outcry that they're not sufficient or of the best quality and that is why the last execution was not immediate. Bucklew states that the United States is a 'liar' for not telling him exactly what is being used to kill him.

I am 100% sure that Bucklew didn't bother to tell Stephanie Pruitt the exact details of the death of her boyfriend and her subsequent hours of torture ahead of time either.

Oh and one more thing - he wants his execution videotaped as 'proof' that the execution takes too long and causes too much pain. Uh huh. We'll get right on that.

YOU JUST MISQUOTED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT!








The Appearing (2014)

This movie was absolutely terrible. This is yet another possession movie that they claim takes different ideas and twists and turns on itself. What they mean is they don't really have a clear story idea. The director, Daric Gates (who also wrote, produced and edited this garbage), just threw a bunch of stuff together and hoped it stuck. It was apparently an indie film and while I couldn't find out how much this turkey cost, it couldn't have been much - about the only special effect were the really awful contact lenses.

It claims to be based on true events - which basically means it was filmed on the planet Earth and it's true that it just ate at least $20 out of your wallet.


There are so many inconsistencies, movie conveniences, outright no-way-in-hell-could-that-ever-have-happened, garbage that it just makes a horrible, horrible progression of a story. I did look around at other reviews before I started this one because I'm learning that if I check around to see what other people think of a particular movie, I can usually separate those that have actually seen the movie, those who probably worked on the movie, and those who plain just don't know what the hell they're talking about. 

In this instance I would say the 'you don't know what the hell you're talking about' person was one who had some Christian agenda (and I have nothing against Christians, I'm one myself) and made inane comments like, "I love it when the movie starts with a Scripture." What the hell? Whether a movie starts with a Scripture has absolutely nothing to do with whether it's going to be good or not. Believe me. I've seen A LOT of them.

This one particular person said he also liked that they introduced religious elements into the story. Trouble is, most of what they "introduce" were obscure passages from the book of Enoch, which is not part of the Bible. The rest was a demon mangling Bible verses by picking a phrase or two and mashing them together. Is that 'religious'?


I laughed my butt off when one reviewer assumed that Michael was Rachel's dad... that's EXACTLY what I thought for the first 20 minutes or so of the film until she yells at him that he hasn't touched her since....  I still chuckle 'cause I mean... look at him. Now look at her. Now look at him again. Now you have my permission to go get a drink.

You've gotta love the IMDb movie database. For The Appearing (and this is also on top of their Facebook page with just a few word differences), it says: "A woman once possessed by a mysterious entity uncovers a shocking secret about her past and must face the demon that dwells inside of her."

Now, my first thought was geez, that sounds like the beginning of the Incredible Hulk TV show. My second thought was wow, they just gave away the whole movie. The information it gives you're not supposed to learn until the last, oh, say 20 minutes of the movie. Miss Mayhem looked at it, shook her head, and decided to pass. Coward. Just kidding, dear.


It apparently was filmed at Hollywood Studios - that would explain why most of the sets look like concrete block storage units – and I'll explain that later. 

I don't mind people saying they like a religious type of theme to their supernatural movies. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. But throughout this movie, I was reminded of a line from Supernatural Activity, which was used more than once in that movie, and use constantly by me in this movie. Basically: You just misquoted the shit out of that right now.

Now I've pretty much told you the movie already, but I don't feel bad because this isn't a movie you're gonna wanna see anyway. I watched it for you. In front of an old, supposedly cursed house called Granville Manor, teenagers scare each other with talk about someone called Martha May, and how something bad happened there in the 1980s. So, of course, one girl wants to check it out. 

Her very sexually frustrated boyfriend follows her into the house. Apparently, her so-called friends forget all about the two of them because they all go home without caring that those two never came out of the house.

Now we have a sad sack couple who has just moved into what they call Glenwood Bay. Michael is the husband, Rachel is the wife. Their backstory is brief: They have just lost their young daughter who apparently drowned in a swimming pool. So quite by random (that's sarcastic - you'll see why later) they choose this small town to start over. 

Michael becomes a deputy. The Sheriff is named Hendricks. He is played by Don Swayze, the younger brother of Patrick Swayze. The resemblance to the late Patrick is eerie. Even his voice sounds just like him. Sheriff Hendricks puts the couple up in a motel until they can find house.


Right off the bat, Michael is put to work. His first case; the missing teenager who had gone into the so-called cursed house. During his investigation, he finds out that the boyfriend who followed her also was missing. His wife, Rachel is on medication due to, I'm guessing, depression because of the death of their child. She is seeing a psychiatrist at what looks to be a mental asylum because every town in America has a mental asylum, whether used or abandon, except for mine. 


This asylum is run by a doctor played by the always ineffective Dean Cain. I got a pleasant surprise, though, when Rachel left her appointment. Inexplicably, and throughout the whole movie, there are these cages made of concrete and faced with chain link fencing. Everywhere. Anyway, when Rachel walks by one of the interesting looking cages, a wild man starts screaming at her, jumping up and down and spouting gibberish. It's Joe Estevez! I'd know that voice anywhere. Here in this movie he is known simply as (and is credited as) Mental Man. Funny!

Back to Michael. Apparently someone informed him that the boyfriend of the missing girl could be found at this mental asylum. When he gets there, Dr. Shaw (Cain) informs him that the boy was found and is speaking but in, according to them anyway, a dead language. (Did you know that psychiatrists were experts in dead languages? Me neither.)

Rachel sees a small girl running through the woods, and I guess she's going to chase this little girl around for the rest of the movie. And of course the first place they go is to the 'cursed' house where Rachel conveniently finds a necklace of the little girl on the steps. But then the movie shoots off in another direction and we have no idea what happened with the two of them. Get used to it.

Suddenly Rachel is back at the motel, busy being freaked out. We've got the beginning of every PA movie. In other words, doors opening, cabinets opening, things moving, and an unplugged radio that looks like it's from the freaking 20s or 30s is playing even though it's unplugged. Oh, and her nose starts to bleed so we know she's doomed one way or the other because that is a horror movie rule.

Swayze and his super-macho fleur-de-lis

Since Rachel apparently doesn't have anything better to do, she decides that this spooky stuff has to do with the house. She goes back. She goes in. Now this house has been abandoned for God knows how long. But apparently the town has kept the electricity on all those years.

And the non-action grinds on. Swayze has a tattoo on his forearm and he says it shows him to be, and this is not an exact quote, since he likes to quote random fractions of scripture, some sort of warrior for the Lord. It's a fleur-de-lis. Now, since these movies are so bad, and we've wasted (or, actually, I've wasted) time watching the damn thing, we might as well learn a little something. A fleur-de-lis is a stylized Lily that is used as a design or symbol. It can be religious, political, dynastic, artistic, emblematic, and symbolic. So using a fleur-de-lis as a symbol of being a warrior for the Lord is pretty weak sauce. Leave the design for the curtains, son.

Rachel is convinced that she has seen the little girl being murdered by another little girl inside the house. So she gets her husband and the Sheriff and the three of them go to investigate. Now, did I mention that the house has electricity? They go down to the basement, I guess, where we have yet another concrete enclosure with a wire door. What. The. Hell. It is also brightly lit, so much so that, even though the Sheriff and deputy insist on using their flashlights, we cannot even see a beam from either one. Massive, massive duh quantity here. They find nothing.

Hold tight kiddies, were going to get into serious stupid territory here. Rachel is now wandering around in her nightgown and guess where she goes? Say it with me… Saaaaaay iiiiiit... the house. This time she sees supposedly written in blood a message on the wall. It's way too thick to be blood. If they are trying to say this is a dead language, why is it using English letters? I don't expect you to answer that, it was just rhetorical.


Now we get to hear a phrase that's going to be repeated ad nauseam for the rest of the movie: the sad mouse lives in this house. We. Hear. It. Constantly. It is spoken, written, painted, carved, just displayed freaking everywhere. And now people are using Scriptures, except not really because they don't know their Bibles, so what they do is they take a little of this, a little of that, a little of the other thing, and then smush it together and misapply it. Which makes me yell at the screen (my hubby hates that) you just misquoted the shit out of that right now!

So what happened to the original teenage girl? Rachel can find her without even trying. She's sitting there in the woods when she sees something strange. It's the partially covered body of the teenager. But the real giggle, actually the only giggle of the whole movie besides Joe Estevez, is when the blonde is in the morgue. Somebody should have warned this dead body that she was going to be touched. 

The coroner uncovers her head and starts her speech about what the cause of death is, running her hand over the girl's forehead. This causes the dead girl to flinch, her eyebrows raising up about half an inch. And you know how some so-called corpses can't seem to hold their breath long enough during a scene? 


Well, this woman shows the corpse's abdomen which for some reason has a long sewn slit across it. That's not a usual autopsy scar - I have no idea what that was for. All I know is, this corpse was very ticklish, because when the coroner touches her above the scar, the abdomen shakes. It would be funny if this were the end of the movie.

Back to the perils of Pauline. Whoops, I mean Rachel. Rachel, who obviously didn't have all her marbles when she got there, is obviously losing it big time. She walks outside her hotel room where she spends all her time when she's not finding dead bodies, and sees a bloody knife on the porch. So, being a deputy's wife, she does the only logical thing – she picks the damn thing up. So much for evidence. 

She runs out into the woods because that's all there is in this town, a mental asylum, a Sheriff's office, a motel, a cursed house, and the woods. Once out in the woods she does a bit of yoga – by that I mean, she bends backwards till her head touches her feet and apparently that is Hollywood's version of being possessed. Oh, that and bad contact lenses. 

Now that she's possessed, almost everything she says is some sort of misapplied Scripture because the moviemakers know almost nothing about the Bible, but apparently they assume that demons know the Bible much better than most people do. Sadly, that is actually true. After all, they were there when it was written.

There are those that truly try to read and apply Bible truth, but those people are a small part of the population and none of them are in this movie.


Okay, I've tortured you with this movie long enough. Now let's get down to the absolutely incredible coincidences and contrivances. Michael finds out that Rachel used to live in this totally random small town they just moved into. Everybody knew it. Nobody told him. Rachel is the older sister of the little girl she's been chasing through this whole damn movie. And, apparently while in this cursed house, she stabbed her to death. She then put her in a convenient garbage bag that she carried around with her and buried her sister in the woods. 

She was found and put in this mental asylum, which apparently is pretty busy for a small town. How does he find this out, you ask? Yes, I know you didn't ask. Doctor Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell says that she was brought in when he was an intern there. What. The. Hell. Oh, the Sheriff knew it too. You see, his wife was Martha May, who was thought to be possessed in the cursed house, so an exorcism was performed which went terribly wrong, and she died.


But. Now the Sheriff is trying to tell Michael that his wife was a slut. He had found her with her lover and had concluded that she was possessed. So for whatever reason they're in that cursed house down in that weird basement that was completely lit up with a Catholic priest to exorcise her. Was she really possessed? The movie starts to wobble like an old tire whose lug nuts are about to fall off. Apparently during this supposed exorcism, Maggie May – whoops, sorry I meant Martha May – comes on to the priest and tries to seduce him. This enrages the Sheriff and he stabs her to death. So she was not exorcised, she was murdered.

And speaking of murdered, the boyfriend of the dead blonde (who kept writing that damned 'sad mouse' message too) is found in his cell after he has apparently castrated himself with some small sharp object and explains that his lust got the best of him inside the house and he raped and murdered her. He then dies.

Backing up just slightly, Dean Cain, really, really bad doctor, explains to Michael that when Rachel was in the mental asylum as a child, she wrote that 'sad mouse lives in this house' crap all the time. He explains that sad mouse is an anagram for Amadeus – wait, no, that's not right. 

What's the snake for? Hey, they
didn't tell me so I ain't telling you...

It's Asmodeus. Who? Well, Cain explains, in the book of Enoch… Oh freaking hell. The book of Enoch seems to be used a lot in movies, probably because it has a lot of so-called juicy stuff in it, and the Bible is just sooooo boring. Just so we're clear, the book of Enoch is not part of the Bible. It is not an inspired work as stated in 2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness..."

So why do these movies like to quote from the book of Enoch anyway? Because in this book are stories about demons and angels and all kinds of happenings that are not in the Bible and people who use quotes from it take it as Gospel, pun intended. So, Dean Cain quotes from this book, as one of his nurses takes a copy of it from his bookshelf. Gee, I didn't know that was required reading for doctors. 

Anywho, Cain explains that this demon was one of seven cast down from heaven. Wow, only seven? I could've swore that there were slightly more demons around than that. The other six were Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Nasty, Impossibility and Hostility. This particular demon was cast down and is in charge of twisting men's desires. That's all? That's all its' got to do? And there's only seven? Oh and I like that he says they were cast down into hell but are on earth. Whaaa? Now we've got hell on earth. Groovy.

Michael grabs the Catholic priest who did the first failed exorcism and the Sheriff, and they all go to Granville Manor to try to save Rachel. Now the movie is trying to say that Asmodeus was in both women, even though one was a slut and one was crazy. Michael keeps telling the Catholic priest that he can now redeem himself by saving Rachel. We have the typical exorcism crap, except he doesn't do the 'the blood of the Christ compels you' stuff he simply screams for the woman to name the demon. Why they think that would work, I have no freaking idea. Finally she says… something. And now she's normal. Well, not normal, now she's just crazy.

So. Michael is now the Sheriff, the ex-Sheriff is in jail for killing his wife, the Catholic priest is inexplicably still in the basement, and Rachel is in the asylum so that she can have meaningful conversations with Joe Estevez. That about sums things up. Well, no, it really doesn't, but there is no summing up this mess.

If this movie's ideas had been coherent, it might have said that evil is where you find it. Are people possessed or just mentally ill? Are people possessed or just sexually promiscuous or prone to other sins? Who really is evil and who is innocent? And why did I just waste 90 minutes of my life watching this waste of film?

A CREATURE FEATURE THAT'S GOOD, ENTERTAINING, AND HIGHLY AFFORDABLE...

Grabbers (2012) Ireland/UK

As a creature feature and self-described cult film, this movie seems to be very polarizing - people either loved it or hated it. I'm not sure why feelings either way were so strong - like the very popular Tremors, this film was simply what it was supposed to be - a bit of fluff to enjoy with a bit of a story and a big monster. No big whoop.

Forward Films is spanking new. They have only three movies under their belt, including this one, with a Danish Western of all things due to be shown at the Cannes Festival on May 17, with a release date of October 2, 2014. Although it is Danish it was shot in Johannesburg, South Africa (?!?)

Of course, even though I liked the movie a lot, I've still got all my snarks in a row - but since this is mostly Miss Mayhem's

review, I'll just butt in with one or five or so throughout. She enjoyed it also, and was very relieved when I assured her it was nothing like the movie Alien (by the way, we lost an extremely talented Swiss surrealist painter, sculptor and set designer who, besides working on the original Alien movie was also known for his art on famous album covers, as well as an, ahem, unique microphone for Korn's Jonathan Davis - H.R. Giger, who was 74, passed away May 13, 2014).

Before I could really get going though, Miss Mayhem reminded me of a few things - one, it's a film from Ireland who really don't have a ton of horror movies out there (true - the wiki only lists 19, but then again I don't know what years they cover). Two, they did a pretty decent job of balancing both actual models and CGI versions of the 'monster' - especially since they only spent what in US dollars equaled around $6.7 million which is.... damned cheap really. Watch the movie - it WILL impress you. So she begins:

Miss Mayhem: Our movie starts on an island off the Irish coast which is just beautiful... which island? Umm... 

Miss Murder: Ireland is itself an island and the list of smaller 'islands' goes on for miles - and those are off the ocean. You should see the list for those on lakes and rivers. But this says Erin Island which may be an inside joke because Erin means both "Ireland" and "west" - the name given by Scotland. But this island (whichever it actually is) IS very beautiful with small towns and rolling hills and beautiful beaches... hmm, I think I know where I want to live. For this movie they had two locations: Belfast, County Antrim and County Donegal. Apparently it was one of the coldest winters they've had in a long time and shooting the film was pretty miserable to everybody.


Miss Mayhem: So at the start, a fishing boat is out at night when they see a massive bright light in the sky which plummets into the ocean...

Miss Murder: And no meteorologist or astronomer saw this coming? Huge fireballs out of the sky and they just sneak up on us?

Miss Mayhem: Ahem. Soon the three on the boat are killed by... something. The next day pilot whales are found washed up on the beach, ripped to pieces. I was relieved to find that one was a prop, the rest were digital.

Miss Murder: LOTS of CGI in this one...

Miss Mayhem: A local named Paddy (yes, I know), who's the colorful town drunk (besides Coyle) finds one in a lobster trap (obviously a small one) and puts it in his bathtub to keep it wet. He's not worried about safety, he's mostly thinking of money. Meanwhile we have two policepersons (called Garda, and definitely not carrying sidearms) Ciarán O'Shea (Richard Coyle), who drinks constantly since his wife left him, and his new partner for two weeks while another is on vacation, a volunteer named Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley). 

But even though Paddy's 'alien' is small enough to fit in the lobster trap, it's nasty enough to first spit... something all over him, then attack him with what I thought was a tentacle but apparently it's a tongue. It tries to drink Paddy's blood...

Miss Murder: Wait, wait, wait, WAIT... what??? Let's get this straight for the reader. An alien. From space. Crashes unseen to earth (okay the ocean). It needs water and BLOOD? What, did it come from Blood Planet? Planet Of The Bloody Creatures? Planet...

Miss Mayhem: This is not MST3K and we are NOT riffing, okay? Paddy beats the alien to death (he thinks) and takes it to the local marine ecologist...

Miss Murder: Because every small island has to have...

Miss Mayhem: Shhhhh. You're sick, remember? Let me drive. Despite the ecologist wanting to find the genus of the species...

Miss Murder: Did you say genius?

Miss Mayhem: What, you can't read now either? Go sit over there and play with your Wii.

Miss Murder: I don't have a...

Miss Mayhem: READ A BOOK! Anyway, Paddy is determined to call the thing a 'Grabber' since that's what it did to him. The name sticks. Since by now several people have been murdered (they found one severed head - not very real looking but for a small budget film not bad) they wonder why Paddy's still alive. They're quick to figure out (this film's 94 minutes so they gotta move along so you can see the REAL monster) that this alien that somehow needs Earth's water and blood cannot take alcohol (which Paddy thinks is a food group).

Miss Murder: In this land of incredible dumbity and coincidences, a severe storm is coming which means there's no help coming from the mainland - AND there'll be lots of water to keep the other monster very happy (they figured the captive one was female when they discovered she was full of eggs - each one the size of her body - ouch!). They also discover that the male is the size of a house. Okay, we've got the setup for the next silly bit.

Basically, every person left on the island (many had gone to the mainland at the beginning of the film, probably so they wouldn't be stuck in this movie) has to meet at the pub and get stinking drunk in order to keep them safe from the CGI monster.

Miss Mayhem: It wasn't all CGI - they had close ups so they did have quite a bit of real models so it was a pretty neat combination.

Miss Murder: With some movie duh mixed in...

Miss Mayhem: Later. The two Garda draw the people into the pub by declaring that the alcohol is free. They had gotten the newbie drunk (she usually doesn't drink) to find out how much one has to drink to equal Paddy's BAC (that's blood alcohol lever by the way) of .20 and they figure eight pints each at least. They think that's a lot.

Miss Murder: Meh, I've seen one blow .42 before and he was still breathing.

Miss Mayhem: Good for you. 

Miss Murder: Everybody starts to have a good time and all of a sudden they're singing an Irish drinking song that sounds... very familiar. I'm listening as close as I can (it's on the jukebox and their singing is pretty slurred but the one I knew was this (not my video of course, but enjoy):

They, of course, are not the only ones who have re-done this song. I had always wondered why Metallica (with recently shorn locks that upset the metal world) would sing;

I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier. I said: "Stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya". Musha ring dum-a do dum-a da,Whack for my daddy-o, Whack for my daddy-o, There's whiskey in the jar-o.

The rest of the words to Whiskey In The Jar depend on whose singing the song - The Dubliners, The Grateful Dead, Thin Lizzy, or Metallica. What were the original words? Since it's thought that the song began somewhere in the 17th century, no one is exactly sure.

Everyone gets stinking drunk, except for Garda O'Shea (Coyle) who volunteered to stay sober to keep everyone safe. But the drunk marine ecologist decides he wants a 'selfie' of the monster and him for National Geographic (and Facebook - his words). He's right in that the monster can't eat him, but it does fling him for what looked like over a mile - and he's dead.

Miss Murder: Are you sure? Did you see the body?

Miss Mayhem: I have duct tape and I'm not afraid to use it. Next to go outside is a gentleman who doesn't want to wait in line for the bathroom.

Miss Murder: The Piss Of Death.

Miss Mayhem: Do we have to....

Miss Murder: THE PISS OF DEATH!!! Or at least it would have been, but he's rescued by the two Garda who've been in their vehicle watching the building. There apparently were a lot of eggs so now we have 'Attack Of The Killer CGI Babies'. Or, to be more graphic, big nasty slugs with round, teeth filled mouths.

Miss Mayhem: Even drunk and without the ecologist, they

figure the huge male is looking for his mate. Paddy makes a comment that the male must smell his mate near the building which is why he's there. O'Shea realizes that the female, who had spit on him also when the 'dead' thing had revived (until they bludgeoned it to death - again) so he 'smells' enough for the male to follow, determines to lead the thing to a construction site. 

Miss Murder: What could they possibly be constructing on a small fishing island? I mean the hole they're leading it to is freaking deep...

Miss Mayhem: Let me tell this, okay? Just take another pain pill. The male monster follows them to the site...

Miss Murder: (slurring words a little) Wait a sec, I remember something...

Miss Mayhem: Go lie down or something.

Miss Murder: No no - this is where I was bashing the CGI really good. See, they're in the pouring rain - I mean soaking wet rain with this huge monster which I know is mostly CGI...

Miss Mayhem: And?

Miss Murder: Well, look at it bit by bit. The shot of O'Shea and Nolan has pouring rain and them soaking wet. Then it cuts to the monster - wet, no rain. Back, rain. Back, no rain. Back, rain...

Miss Murder: I think there's a chocolate bar left in the fridge. Good girl. Now to finish: We get a tense finish as the plan to lure the monster onto a forklift (the idea being to keep it out of water and let the sun kill it) is a no go because there's no forklift - then O'Shea falls into the big hole and hurts his leg. The 'Grabber' jumps in to kill him - and is pinned to the earth as a drunken Nolan, who had found a large piece of equipment, drives it right into the hole on top of the monster, pinning it down and keeping it there.

It's not dead however, and grabs O'Shea again - but he was just given a bottle of the stuff Paddy's been making and it did not like it a bit. Nolan grabs the flare gun they had (with no weapons they were reduced to things like super soakers and household items) and shoots explosives that are conveniently left in the open at the bottom of the pit. After O'Shea gets out of the way of course.

Now it's morning and the two Garda are walking back to town. Then we see the beach, and at least five more monster eggs, one beginning to hatch.

I'm going to end this before Miss Murder finishes her candy bar.

❦❦❦ Miss Mayhem ❦ ❦ ❦

NEVER GO TO BED OR POST YOUR BLOG WHEN YOU'RE MAD (OR IN PAIN)...




In Which I Announce My Candidacy For President

So.

I had a huge rant ready to go and a button away from publishing for your reading displeasure. However, something made me pause a bit, realizing that the more this latest setback in my health affects me, it also affects my attitude and therefore, unfortunately, my blog. As we mentioned, we discovered (actually Miss Mayhem did, she's a lot smarter at this kind of stuff than I am) that there are all kinds of goodies to make a blog better, especially in an area I've been pondering on how to make it more user friendly: an index of sorts. This one will direct you to references for whatever your looking for - whether it be a movie name, actor/actress, subject matter, or even location. 

And, just because I like you (and I just tried this myself so I know it works) if you use the 'search' at the top of the right column (putting in movie, actor, etc.) it will find all the references in the blog - but the index will be handy to look at something that might pique your interest.

Now please realize that this blog has been going for over two years now, and that's a lot of blah blah blah-ing on my part, so we're starting at the most recent and working backwords. We've also discovered that the earlier entries don't really appreciate these new changes and some look pretty nasty so there's some clean up to do as well. But once we get things going, it will be pretty darn neat.

I had a discussion with Miss Mayhem, and hopefully together we can at least keep this blog up to date. Right now I don't particularly care about Facebook. Let me tell you why. I probably already have, but let's review. Number one, Facebook claims to be the social network that brings people together from all over the world. This is total garbage (Yup, holding on to this for a couple of days definitely got the language from a PG-13 down to PG.).

It's obvious that Facebook can claim whatever the hell it wants, and then change the rules whenever it feels like it. For example, how can the whole world 'come together' when you can only friend, and I'm quoting here, "those with whom you interact every day"? Just recently, a friend of mine was locked out of his account because, and I'm quoting again, he was "making too many friends too fast".

How do you make too many friends too fast? Answer: My friend was attempting to gather people to play games with, since those games do not work very well, unless you have a lot of help from other people. Or a lot of money. Either one. They prefer both. But, he was locked out, nonetheless. So, unless you are a personal friend of Mark Zuckerberg (interesting how my Dragon software did not know THAT name), or a friend of a friend of Mark Zuckerberg, you're out of luck. And that includes developers of games and apps. They find they can be 'deleted' without so much as a heads up - several apps have complained that this happens over and over again and there's no one to speak with to find out why.

I've pretty much become disillusioned with Facebook anyway. Why? Because this great connection with the world is not happening, at least not for me. Most of the time when I print something on my page, not a single person will like or comment on it. However, when that same post is made by another person on my page say, oh, 15 minutes later, it gets a ton of likes and or comments. In other words, on Facebook. I'm pretty much invisible. And, I noticed that I'm losing people. This is happening both on my personal page, and on my horror page. I had put something nasty here but, being more tired than hurt and hurting more than caring, I would shrug if I didn't shriek in pain from doing it.

I know somebody here is listening, because I have you wonderful people, over 77,000 of you as of this date. That. Is. Awesome! So, since I now have help and she's willing and able to provide more reviews about horror movies (probably the less gory ones), I think I will just concentrate on good old Google. I honestly don't know why more people don't. It seems to be the next big step in social evolution. I mean, does anyone even remember MySpace? I had a huge page on that network when it was the main social hotspot. I almost didn't want to close it, but maintaining a MySpace and a Facebook page seemed like way too much work. I kind of regret that now. From what I read, it is used by a lot of people still, and is a hotspot for up and coming musicians, artists, and the like.

Yes, my name is A. Sexy Kitten

And I'm weaning myself off of Facebook. Yes, I know they claim to have, as of October in 2013, 1.19 billion monthly active users. I call bullstuff on that too. You see - and I'm sticking my neck out here - I myself personally have six different accounts. That does not include my horror page. I'm not doing that to be sneaky, I'm not misrepresenting myself like others do (yeah right, like there are people named Iam Wasted, or Beans Black, or Ringu Ringu), I just find it convenient to have those accounts to keep an eye on things I cannot from my original account. I won't go into detail about that one.

Right now, Facebook is getting more and more popular in other countries. However, when checking my statistics for this column, I am always noticing that I have at least 10 countries (and they change in frequency and name) reading this on Google Plus each week. So what do I need Facebook for? Good question. While I do constantly put a link to this blog on my pages in the hopes of seeing more of you here, the rest of it is just freaking depressing. No one to talk to, no one to play games with, and I'm certainly not going to spend a ton of money just to get my games working. In fact, one game (I won't say which) crashed constantly and my friends were ditching it. I wrote to support which of course led nowhere so I asked a tech.

He said that basically these games work on the principle of being able to get to your information - and that includes being able to bombard you with ads from within the game. Now I'm kind of a security nerd - I've got all kinds of firewalls, ad blockers, masking programs, etc. Well, if I want to play this (and probably the others as well) game, I have to be willing to turn them all off - and hope they don't put garbage on my computer. Uh huh. With him watching I did that and started the game. He said that even with those things turned off, the game took waaaay too long to load considering the computer system I'm using. What a surprise.

And once again I noticed that I have been rambling. I do have a good excuse, I have been fighting some weird sort of 'gee you don't look miserable enough so let's throw something else' infection in my arm, which makes it nearly useless for the present. That's why I am very excited and grateful to have Miss Smack... no you dumb dictating program, it's Miss Mayhem (Where the hell did Dragon get Miss Smack? I must be getting tired.) on board to help me. And here we go. And I thank all of you for your patience, for your readership, and for not ignoring me like the so-called social network that is Facebook. (Oh, I'm sorry for the misleading title - I couldn't think of anything else. Just blame it on my fevered brain...)

PLEASE PARDON MY DUST.... UMM, I MEAN MY MESS.... UMM, I MEAN - OH GEEZ, JUST BEAR WITH ME, OK?

BIG CHANGES ARE COMING TO DEADWORLD SON.... Sorry, quoting there. If you've noticed this blog is more chaotic than usual, I'm trying to get a new format going, hopefully easier to read, and easier to find movies on it if I can figure this out. Until then, things might seem a bit... ugly.

This may take me a while to sort out - things will look a bit wonky for a while - but do me a favor please. If something doesn't look right, or some ad pops up (there are to be NO extras on my page) please let me know right away - I'm not sure I trust all the 'goodies' they offer to put on a blog.

Thank you guys!

Ooh, one more thing (updated afternoon of 5/6/14) - Miss Mayhem and Miss Murder are experimenting with the groovy cool options that we never knew went with blogs, so if things start to look a little... busy, we may pare it down later but right now we're having a blast with it!