HORROR MOVIES THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE IN YOUR COLLECTION... WAIT A MINUTE, THAT TAKES TWO SENTENCES, SO LET'S CONSIDER SOME GREAT REDDIT RESPONSES TO MY QUESTIONS...

I Took So Long The Seasons Changed

Yes, today (November 13) it has decided that it is now winter in the beautiful Columbia River Gorge in Oregon, which usually doesn't happen until January or so, if it happens at all. Of course, this one inch of white splendor may well be gone in the morning. If there is one thing about living in the Gorge I have learned is that seasons only happen when they damn well feel like it, and sometimes not at all.


We've had two-day springs before (that period between freezing weather and searing heat), and our falls can be gorgeous - tons of trees in every shade of green and orange and yellow that you can think of. For a little while. Then one day there's a blasting wind and BOOM - no more leaves, no more fall. That was a couple of days ago and now we have our first snow. Now we were supposed to get absolutely blitzed, but they tamed that down to just being 'dusted'.

So although I started this column in one 'season', I'm finishing it in another... but you're not surprised by that, especially if you've read even a few of my reviews.

That's OOP, NOT oops... I think...

I was thinking, which is always dangerous, about how much I depend on streaming services for my horror movies, although I do have a decent amount of DVD's in my collection that I'm pretty proud of. Since my brain won't let me clean up and publish all the reviews I have right now, I thought I'd list a couple of suggestions for those who want a decent horror movie collection without having a whole room full of 'em.

Then I came to my senses and thought hell, I HATE it when a horror 'expert' tells me what I should like and what I shouldn't - much less what I should own and what I shouldn't. I mean, I've found treasures that I personally adore that 'critics' called garbage. So why listen to me?


My advice which you can promptly forget if you want to: Get the movies you love. If you can't go a week without watching it, if just looking at the DVD cover makes you happy, if you have it 'cause you're crushing on an actor in it, or if you just have it 'cause it looked interesting, go for it. Don't think you have to have certain titles to have a 'respectable' collection and certainly don't let others determine for you what you spend your money on.

There are certain movies I will watch several times a week - and if I had to rent those, that would add up pretty fast. There are certain movies that aren't offered anywhere - because they weren't popular, or are old, whatever. I have a few that are OOP (out of print) that I really had to search for - but I love 'em.

So. Enough jabbering and let's look into someone else's brain pan for a bit:

After discovering the joys of Reddit (and the trolls, don't forget about those 'cause they're everywhere) I decided to ask a couple questions of my own. I was actually shocked and pleasantly surprised by the fast answers and promised to publish them as is (stories are in italics). Now some are here but I've taken so long, the rest will be on the next entry:

Does Anyone Actually Have One Of Those Dreams Where You Sit Up Gasping Or Screaming?

I've had a bunch. I once dreamed that an entire town had turned murderously rapist and were coming for my girlfriend of the time (now my wife). For some reason, Dream Girlfriend had become entirely intellectually vacant, and didn't realize what a terrible position we were in. I kept thinking it didn't matter as much if they caught me, so long as I was able to keep her safe.

Her new-found idiocy was making that difficult though. The entire dream consisted of me dragging her by the arm to different locales populated by increasing numbers of rape-happy townies. Every corner we turned, every dark hidey hole I led her into was quickly discovered and assailed by them.

Near the end, I tried to escape with her in a self-driving cab (dream tech, I guess). Much to my surprise, after I got in with her, the doors locked, and I realized one of the townies was in the backseat with us. I planted my fist in his face, but he shrugged it off and beamed back at me as if to say "I'm going to start with her." So I put my all into it, over and over again, with him smiling back at me like he was enjoying a light breeze.

With every smile he threw my way, I focused more and more; then, without warning, I broke that smile along with the majority of his teeth. He frowned, spittled out "shit" with a bunch of loose chiclet teeth and blood, and I used the distraction to unlock his door and boot him out of the cab.

So it was the end scene. The camera shifted to the outside, and I sat comfortably in the cab with my challenged girlfriend as we happily drove off into the wild blue yonder. Then, I realized that the cab didn't seem to be moving very quickly. Also, that it was made of cardboard. When I looked around, I realized that the wild blue yonder was painted like a set. Then the horizon fell over flat, and we found ourselves having been carted into a large gymnasium filled with everyone in the town. The doors were closed behind us by a wall of people.

The last thing that I got to experience was being ripped away from my girlfriend by an entire town, her stupid face frowning but not fully understanding what was going on as she was buried under a mass of writhing humanity. Gasping and wakefulness was had. - InDevitoVeritas

Now THAT would be a movie I'd pay to see - even in 3D!






Has Anyone Had An Interesting Lucid Dream? I Mean, The Kind Where You Look Around And Try To Remember Things Because You Definitely Know You Are Dreaming? 


1. Usually I become lucid the same moment I realize it's a nightmare. Last one I had I dreamt I was in my dorm room at night which also has a bathroom. I was in the bathroom preparing to go to bed when I look in the mirror and see a ghostly figure (low of stature with an actual white sheet over their head) and from the familiar feeling of gloomy dread that I get I know it's a nightmare.

I have a feeling I could have unveiled whatever was under there but I really didn't want to instead I immediately try to kick the ghost and yell loudly to seem intimidating which is a force of habit I've developed. But no sound comes from my mouth and my limbs feel heavy. I clumsily clash with the figure and it just disappears like it was nothing but a vision.

I make my way into the bedroom where the ghost is now stranding. It's at this point I decide to wake up. It was a silly monster but the feeling of dread and uneasiness from the unknown threat was real enough. - Sporocarp


2. I have them all the time. One of my favorites was where I found myself in a forest looking at a well. All I could think was "Why the f*** would that be there?" And then, Samara started crawling out of it. So I noped the f*** out. And ended up in another place entirely, far away from the creepy little girl. - annarchy8

What Is The Creepiest Thing A Doctor Ever Said To You? 

I asked this question because of my personal experience that happened just a couple of weeks ago. I went in for, uh, female things and the doc - also female - wanted to do a breast exam. Sigh. Many of you know how fun THAT is. I'm freezing in a paper top laying down and out of the blue the first thing she says is, "Who did your bellybutton?" Uh, what? I just looked at her and she continued, "I've never seen a bellybutton done like that, who did yours?"


Now if I was sharp and had all my wits about me I would have just shrugged and said, "God, I guess," or maybe "The doctor thought a smiley face would be cool to carve in a newborn's stomach." Instead I just stared at her wondering what the hell... I have no piercings so I had to ask - she said my bellybutton was, and I quote, "neither an innie nor an outie, it's just flat." Uh huh. Nurse, check please!


It wasn't until I got home that I realized that I never DID get that breast exam. Meh. I thought that had to be as creepy as it could get - but I was wrong. I guaranteed anonymity (I didn't want anyone embarrassed, and this way they could vent and not worry) and here's what I got:


1. Went to go my blood taken one of the nurses messed up, and my blood started shooting all over the place the doctor coincidentally came in and said "Ohh looks like we got a gusher!" when she stopped it. I found it funny as hell and a little ominous even though I'm pretty sure I could've died from blood loss.


2. The doctor who took over our family GP's practice after he retired when I was 12 spent more time during my first exam lecturing me about the dangers to my soul of playing Dungeons & Dragons than actually conducting the physical. 

He also diagnosed my great aunt, my mother, and me with anemia and prescribed a routine of vitamin shots - I'm not genetically related to either of them and wasn't feeling weak or tired, so the quack alarm started going off for me. 

I insisted on a second opinion from my pediatrician (who gave the expected diagnosis of no health problems aside from a nervous stomach), and ended up going back to him for all medical needs until I was 18.

Turns out the doc was indicted for child molestation when I was in high school, so not bothering to conceal my contempt for him may well have saved me from some very unpleasant experiences.


3. One therapist suggested I give up video games and take up butt plugs as a hobby. She had a doctorate in psychology.

Another therapist has been obsessed with my DNA, and specifically brings up the importance of my DNA every time I think we are going to talk about trauma recovery. She also has mentioned my bloodline, and wanted to know if I had blood work done, and if anything interesting came up in the test.

Not sure how that's going to help me with that 'can't sleep at night problem' I went there for originally.


4. "Thanks for letting me see that awkward mark, but I'm not a doctor."


5. Doctor said "Strip off, take your clothes off." I asked, "Where will I put them?" Doctor said "Put them on top of mine." Miss Murder thinks that one is a little... creative.


6. While getting tested for an STD. My then-doctor pulls out an instrument that he intends to shove up the shaft of my manhood. I was nervous and timidly asked him how far he planned on sticking the instrument in. He chuckled to himself and then said "Not this far." while he motioned with his hand to his mouth and stuck his tongue to his cheek (in the manner of the age-old non-verbal reference to a blowjob).

It struck me as a rather odd and unprofessional time for a b.j. reference . Needless to say I have had plenty of laughs about it since. I also had an occurrence years later doing another STD test with a female nurse alone. But the things we did belong in a totally different subreddit. Ok that was a little TOO creative...

7. Well when I was younger my doctor's name was Dr. Weiner, so that's creepy as it is.

8. One time I went in to get a series of different shots. She gave me a couple of shots, then she got a concerned look on her face and told me to hold on a minute. She left the room, and I could hear her talking to the other nurses. (I don't remember the names of the shots.) She says, "Is it safe to give shot a and shot b at the same time?" All the other nurses just said that they're not sure and mine responds with, "Oh well, I'll just give them in separate arms." Miss Murder personally marks this one as her favorite...

9. My doctor once took a picture of my vagina and showed it to me (he was explaining something and figured the visual would help) he then accidentally swiped and I saw a disgusting vagina. He locked his phone and put it away...

10. I went in for some back pain, and he kept blaming it on my chest. Sure I'm gifted in the chestorial region, but I was NOT expecting him to say things like "really, really HUGE breasts." He even said "GIANT BOOBS." It was beyond skeezy. He's not some brand new, fresh-out-of-school young punk - he's been practicing for over 20 years...

11. I had a rash of spots that suddenly appeared across my chest. When I asked my doctor what it was he told me to Google it, after which he gave me medication for it. Miss Murder thinks we both go to the same doctor - she had one that told her if her infection got worse, to 'go see a doctor' - and he was WHAT exactly?

12. He Told Me Typing Like This Means You Are Going To Die Soon. I've Been Scared For Years. Miss Murder found that very funny, smartass.

13. He told me my blood matched my nail polish.

14. Before I had insurance I would go to the county clinic for birth control. They are always very nice but once during an exam the nurse asked me how many kids I had (I had none at the time). When I told her, she said "By the size of your cervix I'd guess you had at least 3." ...Never before or since have I had comments about the size of my cervix.

More coming up, I promise...



                        

YOU'VE GOT REDD ON YOU

Redd Inc. aka Inhuman Resources (2012) Australia

Let's face it horror fans, the internet world of watching movies (outside of paid services) is getting dicey. Where many used to upload or download torrents, or just stream movies from a particular site, chances are they run into some bad mofo trying to hijack their computer. It's happened to me twice and I am so glad to have a strong security system and team to help me if I'm in trouble. But it has made me back up and off from using certain sites (even those 'approved' by my security software) and staying with my DVD's and Netflix. I've noticed that there's also a rise in movies being shown on YouTube.

That's fine but you've got to expect certain, umm, problems. For example, a lot of the time they're labelled with every horror synonym and description you can think of to try to get viewers on their page. I've seen lists of descriptions longer than my Google page. 

Another is that they often don't have the title of the movie on the main description so you have no idea if you've seen it, would never watch it, or if it even is a movie after all until the beginning credits get done. 

Also and this is a big one - when I watch music videos, I expect (especially with the Vevo ones) to see a commercial at the beginning. Irritating but livable. With some of these movies, there's a freaking commercial every, oh, I'm going to say ten minutes or so. That. Is. Horrid! I was trying to get info on a movie's credits when it went to commercial! By the time I could get back to it, it was over.

Aaaand of course there are lots of them that are only allowed on the site for hours or days before the link is pulled for one reason or another.

I found this movie by sheer accident. If you know a good place to watch it, go there. If not, don't enter the title to see it on YouTube, you won't find it. The link (as of 11/6/14) is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK1MpnfkNao


Why did I bother? In big letters at the beginning: Tom Savini, Special Make-Up Effects Supervisor. That was enough.

This movie is torture porn. I'm learning what that means and yeah, it can get pretty messy. This one, presented by Fangoria, had a story buried in it though, and it was almost (ALMOST) interesting. 

It starts with the capture, trial, and death by a fire at the mental hospital of a company president who happens to be an ax murderer who liked to chop the heads off of CEO's of big corporations. 

Six months later, we see Annabelle being interviewed for a job by Skype. Being interviewed by Skype? That scared me more than the whole movie... brrrr...

After the interview ended with a 'we'll call you' which you know never happens, Annabelle is contacted during her 'job' as an online stripper by a stranger offering her a job. She cuts him off, but minutes later is attacked and knocked out.

She wakes up in a room, locked to a chair which in turn is locked to a table filled with computers. There are five others with her. Okay, great - we've got the typical wake-up-with-strangers scenario. 

Their new "boss" is a man named Reddmann - the ax murderer who was supposed to have died. Apparently he cut off his left arm at the elbow to leave evidence of his 'death' in the fire. Ouch. He also is sporting a toupe' that some poor hedgehog gave his life for.

The people were not chosen at random (DUH THEY NEVER ARE). All are people who participated in his trial and conviction, whether cop or lawyer or just material witness. Mr. Reddmann's 'purpose' is to have his innocence proven, since he feels those involved with the trial 'didn't do their jobs properly'. 'Kay. 

If they screw up, they get a mark on their forehead with his new left metal hook. Five strikes and you're dead. He files all body parts in a file cabinet (very small chuckle).

He is quite insane. Now here is where it gets almost interesting. His insanity comes because of a certain doctor at the hospital he was committed to. You KNOW in horror movies that every doctor that works in an asylum (or hospital) is evil, nasty, crazy, demon worshiping, or plain sadistic. The doc did a great job to make this man as nasty and evil as he was supposed to be in the first place.

The movie goes in the order you expect - people screw up, people get tortured, people die. But did this guy actually commit the murders at the beginning of the movie in the first place? The participants are chained for days (some for months) to a table, expected to examine every piece of the trial - transcripts, statements, evidence, etc. to determine if they all had done their job 'properly'.

Hmm... try to guess what comes next. Ah c'mon guys - you act like you don't already know. OF COURSE these people didn't do their jobs properly or we would just have a cheap VHS torture porn tape. Evidence was hidden, depositions were 'lost', the cops were corrupt, the 'witnesses' didn't see what they thought they were looking at, and we won't even talk about the psychic the police hired to 'find' Reddmann or Redd as he wants to be called.


Tom Savini gets to make his cameo as the one witness who could have proved Redd's innocence (Redd was firing him at the time) because then the trial would have fallen apart. And on and on and on...

That was the main problem for me. The 'clues' took too long in between the 'torture' of the 'employees' (my ''''' key is just about wore out now) and the stripper suddenly becomes the MacGyver of the group and manages to plot an escape. Uh huh. The hero, if you can call her one, manages to get into a vent, knock Redd out cold with a dismembered leg and tries to free the others.

They use office supplies as weapons but whoops, more die. Of the two who survive, Annabelle and another 'witness' guess which one is the REAL ax murderer? Sigh. When he attacks and severely wounds the girl I almost said 'good' 'cause then it would be over. But no, it goes on ad nauseam and I do mean AD NAUSEAM. 

Somehow she lives but so does Redd and the real killer - and then another fast forward and she's home and healed. She's written a tell-all book about the experience so money is no longer a problem.

On her way to a book signing though, the killer comes to get her. As she runs into the night and the rain, she also runs into Redd, who saves her from the killer (Umm, what?) and then tells her he's on his way to a certain doctor to 'talk' to him about his, umm, methods... are we trying to copy Hannibal the Cannibal or are we doing an homage? Ah, forget it.

The ending was improbable but not too bad. Dressed fancy for her book signing, she shows with blood all over and the head of the killer, slapping it on the podium. Most horror writers WISH they could have a signing THAT cool.



                        

YOU'VE GOT RED ON YOU





Playing With A New Toy

Nah, you know me, I'm not playing around, I'm sick... still. BUT I do have four (or is it five) movies plunked down in crib form (that means only I can understand what the hell I'm trying to say) but not ready for your tender mercies yet.


AND I have joined Reddit - yes, it scared me but I find that it's a neat environment to exchange ideas and get creative input. Yeah, you have the typical trolls but that's gonna be everywhere you go. Most have been wonderful and if just a few of their ideas could be put in movie form I swear the horror genre would be (as they call it these days) re-booted and we'd get away from the found footage and long black slimy haired girls pointing at people crap.

So to all those looking here from Reddit - if you haven't seen your contribution (of which I'm extremely grateful) - it's coming. I'm using every one I get (even the trolls) so it should be a lot of fun.

My topics were:

Two sentence horror stories
First ever seen horror movie
Weirdest statement made by your doctor
Lucid dreaming

This would probably fit every category...

They're coming first before the movies or else I may never get another person to answer one of my weird questions... thanks to all!



                        

TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPIN' SLIPPIN' SLIPPIN'... INTO THE FUTURE...

The Evil Within/Mine Games (2013)

Currently streaming on Netflix, it will tell you the movie is called Mine Games but when you start to watch, the OTHER title they liked better (but didn't stick with I guess) comes up, The Evil Within. Which is also the title to a popular video game, a 1970 movie, and an episode of Blade: The Series. And they made up their own genre to keep your interest (it fails) - a 'time travel thriller'.

Not. Even. Close.

When it's really obvious drek I have to come up with a decent reason why I would want to subject myself to it. Then I look at the title of my blog (sigh). Plus the movie was shot in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest in Washington state, and some scenes were shot in the Ape Caves, and since I used to live near there and have actually been in the caves, it was enough.

Hmm, who appears in this movie... uh oh. I recognize a name. My fibro brain can't remember to take pills on time, when my doctor appointments are, or what I ate the day before, but I can remember names clear back to when I was <mumbles>. In this case, it's Briana Evigan.

Teen Beat had a strict no-shirt policy...

Nah, she wasn't from way back when, but her dad was. Anybody ever hear of Tiger Beat? Way back when it was the magazine that told us young'uns which guys we should be screaming over (it was pointed to girls - don't know what the boys were looking at, except maybe their dad's Playboys). It is still in print, as well as having a digital version. Woof. That's... dumb.

But I guess magazines that tell us what to think and who's good and who's not are still around, even for adults. When Spin (a music magazine) decided to stop printing in 2012, the smarties at the subscription service figured what I'd most like instead ('cause I wasn't getting my money back) was Esquire. Do you know what Esquire is? Clothes I cannot ever afford and cologne I would never allow in my house. That magazine reeks so badly I can tell when the hubby picks up a new issue in the mail. I'd like to stop those freaking things but... sigh. Oh, and it tells me what is sexy, like I don't know. Short answer: Everything and everyone except me. There. Whoops, one more thing. It's pretty much for men.

Oh yeah, Tiger Beat. Way back when I was <mumbles> I did have my crushes. One was for the actor of the stupidest program on television (and this was in competition with Dukes Of Hazzard and Hee Haw) called BJ And The Bear, with Greg Evigan. If you're a bit younger, you might recognize him from My Two Dads, a show in an age where having two dads married to each other was unacceptable but it was perfectly all right to co-parent a kid whose (dead) mom slept with both guys close enough together (I mean days together, not in the same bed - sheesh) that she doesn't know which one was the kid's dad. And there was no CSI or Maury Povich to cut that series short with a DNA test.

Uh, where was I? Ah. Briana Evigan. When BJ And The Bear started on TV, Greg Evigan was 25. Briana is now 27. Where's my shawl and cane? And why am I stalling with this movie? Because it was absolutely, totally, completely awful. I would recommend watching the first ten minutes or so 'cause they're driving through to the north side of the Gifford Pinchot forest and you'll see some wonderful scenery and Mt. Rainier as they go by. As soon as they hit the gas station, stop. You've seen enough.

I want to meet the sicko who thought this up...

Sigh, but that's not what I do. Seven people who aren't even remotely likable are vacationing in the kind of place that no one can afford ever. It is gorgeous. For 'texture' sort of like having corn in your poo-poo (the Playdoh kind) they decided to mix Australian and American actors for I-really-don't-give-a-damn reasons. And conveniently, within a short walking distance, is an abandoned mine (they don't call it a cave, that's too boring). Nobody's there although a friend was supposed to be there to meet them.

In the first shot we get a few scenes inside the cave. Uh, no. Have you ever been in a cave, I mean a REAL cave? For a freak-out, the guide there at the Ape Caves had us all turn off our flashlights. The darkness is so total you could swear you were seeing things move - and you weren't. 

Here we see dimly lit parts of this non-mine with a voice that repeats two sentences you're going to come to hate - 'This Is The First Time' and 'I Can Break The Cycle'. Oh and an irritating sound sort of like a rattlesnake but not. If you want to skip this movie, go into a dark room, say that about a hundred times, have a loved one come in and grab you aaaaand you're done.

As the kids make a pit stop for gas and munchies we find out that Lyla (Briana Evigan) has a boyfriend Michael WHO'S ON ANTI-PSYCHOTIC MEDICATION OH MY GOD EVERYBODY RUN!!!! Thanks a lot Hollywood for making mental illness even more of a stigma than regular people already do. Besides, if he can have a treated illness and graduate college, I think he can survive a weekend in the country, right? At least in real life. Here... meh.

We see a sign for today's newspaper blaring that PEOPLE WERE FOUND MURDERED IN AN RV!!! All I could think was it must be a real bitch having to paint a sign every day for the newspaper headline that no one reads 'cause everybody just reads their freaking iPads anyway. Oh and just for the final piss off - that's not what it says according to the wiki, so how many versions of a bad movie CAN you make anyway?

Or they would read their iPads if they weren't in the 1% of the nation where there is no cell reception much less wifi. This is actually legit - I know someone who lives in the Gifford Pinchot and no, there's no cell phone reception in many spots. Maybe that's why these college graduates have absolutely no incentive as to call someone when a person tries to flag them down and the swerving makes their van quit working (I guess) so they have to walk the rest of the way to their billion dollar all-hardwood cabin/resort. Do I sound a little resentful to you? Oh well.

OH MY GOD MICHAEL LEFT HIS MEDS IN THE CAR AND WON'T GET THEM UNTIL MORNING - THEY MIGHT AS WELL SLIT THEIR WRISTS NOW!!! Sigh. I really hate that they have a movie about a guy who managed to get through years of college without killing anybody but can't go on vacation without having a babysitter every second.

Oh, and if it seems I've giving you more scenic shots than shots of the 'action' that's 'cause there wasn't much 'action' and believe me, you'll thank me for not having to look at them freaking out about... stuff.

Walking along the street they see the Northern Lights (the movie kind of implies that this plus Michael being a psycho killer in sheep's clothing being the cause of what is coming) and one of them says the Northern Lights shouldn't be seen that far south. Ahem.

Crown Point (aka Vista House) in the beautiful Columbia 
River Gorge in Oregon (Gary Randall Photography)

The Northern Lights are called that because they're in the Northern hemisphere, not on top of the world idiot. We've seen them here in Oregon, and other states have as well. <rolls eyes> How long did you guys go to college again?

Umm, yeah...

After Michael is left outside to feed gas into the generator (no electricity), he comes in with a very strange expression that everyone ignores. He has blood on his face but says he tripped over a gas can. Yeah, gas cans bleed, didn't you know? Anywho, he goes to bed early (because us mentally ill people do NOT like to party) and we have the obligatory get-blitzed-on-every-kind-of-alcohol-we-can-find-without-puking-all-over-the-cabin scene. Michael has nightmares. Yaaaaawn...

Hmm? I haven't even started the movie yet? Okay here we go:

The next morning - they go in the mine they 'just' discovered. It has old dynamite in it. Umm, no. It also is dusky but easy to see everything with small lamps. Umm, no. Rose (who conveniently is a medium) feels someone grab her leg. It causes a wound only she can see. Forever after during the movie she sees her friends as dead and rotting. What a fun girl.

In the cave they find a picture of The Ouroboros, an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. It often symbolizes something constantly re-creating itself, the eternal return, and other things such as the phoenix which operate in cycles that begin anew as soon as they end. It can also mean the thin premise of a never-ending movie to eat up time and money and suck the hard earned cash out of your pockets. <rim shot>

Two guys find three guys dead, two of them are themselves. Confused? Too bad, it doesn't get better. That's why I was babbling about other stuff. All through the movie we hear this strange rattling like snakes but don't know what it is.

The friends who invited them never show up - they are the couple found dead in the RV according to the convenient sign at the gas station. Problem with that - they weren't dead yet, they were killed later... you know what? Skip it.

Michael is trapped by his 'friends' for fun and sees on the wall 'This is the first time'. Repeat that about a hundred times.

Let's break it down, shall we? For unknown reasons ('cause it's cheaper that way) there's repeating sequences of the same dumb college graduates coming every day and starting this movie. Each group is oblivious of the other. So somehow the cycle has to be broken. Pleaaaaase.

The bodies are piling up, mainly because it's the same people and Michael is the instigator but we don't get to know why all we know is HE HAS SCHIZOPHRENIA AND SO MUST DIE!!! That's what people think about mental illness, right? You got somebody with one among you, you back away.

So they are circling around themselves trying to figure out how not to die and failing. Over and over. The only one to see past, present and future seems to be Rose, so she's poisoned by... someone (most likely Michael). And dies.

How did it start? Don't ask. The first Michael tells the next Michael to take his meds in the blister pack and throw it on a campfire. That's what the hissing/rattling noise through the whole movie. How? Don't ask. Why did the others hear the rattling when they were nowhere near the fire? Don't ask. Where did the FIRST Michael come from? Don't ask. 

A wounded Lyla limps all night long down the road. How? Don't ask. She manages to get to the gas station JUST as another Lyla is waking up and talking to Michael. The wounded Lyla slams on the van window. Is there going to be a sequel? DON'T ASK.

                        

NICE PEOPLE SHARE SOME OF THEIR SIT-UP-IN-BED GASPING AND/OR SCREAMING NIGHTMARES PART ONE

Thank You To All Who Wrote So Fast!

I decided on the Reddit site to post a request. Does Anyone Actually Have One Of Those Dreams Where You Sit Up Gasping Or Screaming? Mostly the reason is that I have vivid dreams, and often lucid dreams, but even though I remember all my dreams (usually), the only one that has ever frightened me had nothing to do with horror. 

I had dreamed that I was looking in my living room (impossible to do from my bedroom I might add) and saw children climbing through my window. I was yelling at them and trying to run towards them but couldn't (Sleep paralysis is a wonderful thing, right?), but nothing else scares me and I've NEVER woke in a sweat, much less gasping for air or screaming. 

I promised to print their stories as is and give them the credit. To my surprise, this is the response I've received in just the last 24 hours and I thank each and every one of them for their stories:

I had one of those dreams the other night, but it was stupid. I was in the shower and the water was hitting my face, but no matter which way I turned, the water was spraying right into my face, so I couldn't get away from it and I couldn't breathe, because the water would go in my mouth if I opened it or up my nose if I inhaled. I woke up gasping, having, apparently, been holding my breath while asleep. Or just not being able to breathe, since I was wheezing and needed to use my asthma inhaler.

Another time, sleeping in school, I had a dream that the neighborhood was flooded and I was swimming in it and I went under, but when I tried to come back up, the surface of the water wouldn't break and I was going to drown. When I woke up, I sat straight up suddenly while sucking in air and scared the shit out of my friend sitting next to me. He then claimed my dreams dripped LSD.

And The Mannequin Dream! That one is too long to type out. Short version: Dreamed I accidentally killed a woman in a store, but no one knew it was me that did it, got locked in the same store overnight. Weeks later, she tried to get revenge by possessing a mannequin. I woke up as she was grabbing my leg as I tried to get away. Sat up terrified to find my big ol' kitty lying on my legs and kneading me.

I could go on for awhile. This has happened to me a lot, as well as a lot of sleep paralysis dreams and other, very detailed, nightmares that woke me up feeling other weird effects and doing other weird things besides sitting up, gasping or screaming. Ugh. Probably the worst was a dream I had that my dog got hurt and was bleeding out in my arms in the driveway. I woke up crying and running from my bed, still feeling the blood all over me. I wasn't convinced the dream was done and everything was fine until I made it outside and was hugging my perfectly okay, if very confused beagle, but he was still appreciative of the love. - LivingDeadPunk

You, my friend, have a very active, imaginative mind and I'm sure that you could probably write a much better horror movie than most I've seen in the past few years.

I did once. Maybe, six years ago I had a zombie apocalypse-type dream. Details for a lot of it are vague, as is typical with dreams, but I recall being with some scientists who were working on a cure or vaccine, some sort of serum derived from the blood of the afflicted. The facility we were in was overrun, and it was down to a scientist and myself barricading ourselves into a tiny soundproof room (like a library study room). 

As the afflicted started breaking the door down, the scientist turned to me and said, "I'm sorry," and tried to shoot himself, but he was torn to shreds through the gap before he could. As they continued to widen the gap to enter the room, I grabbed the gun, put it in my mouth, and pulled the trigger. There was an incredibly loud bang and everything went black momentarily, and I awoke sitting up and gasping, just like in the movies. - SaraFist

Now if I shot myself in my dream THAT might just do it - yikes!

Remember this guy?

Yes. In my dream a massive spider was coming towards me and I sat up gasping. I must have woke up with such a jolt that my eyes/brain didn't quite adjust as quickly as my body for a couple of seconds so I could still see the spider in the room. I jumped out of bed screaming and ran to the light switch. Freaked my other half out!

Also, whenever I watch a Nightmare I always have a scary Freddy dream. - Deadite_bride

Perhaps this dreamer should stay away from movies like Big Ass Spider! and Arachnophobia... and me. Heh, heh. No but really - I'd be keeping a can of Raid near my bed...

I have nightmares all the time and this happened to me pretty regularly for a long time. It's been a while and I'm pretty sure it was at least partly sleep apnea responsible for the wake up taking a deep breath part. - thegreatbrah

Night terrors doesn't have to be limited to the very young. And sleep apnea is more common than people think (my hubby has it, for instance). Mix the two together and you've got a nasty recipe for some horrific nightmares...

Back years ago, when I was still living with my dad, I had one. In it I was lying down in my room watching TV and all of a sudden, a black splotch started to grow out of one of the top corners in the room and the way it moved, I would describe it as black static. 

It started growing and getting bigger and then another splotch appeared and started growing in the other corner. I was lying there watching as they both grew in size and start devouring the whole room until only my bed and me were left. Then it started overtaking the bed, moving from the foot towards the head. 

Once it reached my chest I realized it was billions of baby spiders that were crawling and trying to get to my face. That's when I shot straight up and screamed and realized it was just a dream. Cold sweats and everything, man. Haven't had a nightmare like that again and pray I never do. F*** spiders. - ISavesDays

THAT would have made one hell of a Twilight Zone episode - or Tales From The Darkside... in either case, freaking scary!

Only once! A few months back I was in a really bad car accident. About a week or so into my recovery I had a nightmare in which my friends (who were in the car with me) had died in the accident and came to my bedroom to blame me. 

Their appearances showed the injuries that killed them, so it was disturbing. At the end of the dream they simply started screaming, causing me to scream, and I woke up screaming and booted upright within seconds. As upsetting as that is, both my friends and I are fine now, in reality. :) - Wilibine

You think doctors would warn their patients about this particular side effect of painkillers such as morphine and other painkillers. One study showed that those given medication had significant side effects. In the first 12 weeks, out of 47 patients, 42% of them experienced dreams or hallucinations. Those given medication over an extended period of time showed that out of 57 patients, 49% of them experienced dreams or hallucinations. Glad to see a happy ending to such a frightening experience though...

I use a CPAP for my apnea so I do this at least twice a week. It's funny because if I'm choking in real life I start choking in my dreams too. Pretty freaky but I got used to it. - gborder79

Oof, that doesn't sound like something anyone should have to get used to. Funny that a lot of these have to do with either apnea, pain medication, or both. Interesting. I wonder if the same might apply to lucid dreaming...

I have several times. I believe them mostly due to side effects of drugs like vicodin or other pain meds from when I broke my arm. I would have very vivid scary dreams and wake up drenched in sweat out of breath and frightened. 

Sorry, I love this picture...

Also I have found that if I sleep on my back I am way more likely to have nightmares. But the kind where you feel like you're pinned down and can't yell or talk or anything. 

Sometimes I sleep like that on purpose just for the dreams. They are intense and sometimes I wake up violently. I have also witnessed a former roomate sit straight up and be like baaically yelling. He was a sleep talker anyway, but when he had nightmares it'd be worse. - zmanbunke

Again there seems to be a pattern - apnea, pain medications, and sleeping on your back. I was always told as a kid not to sleep on your back 'cause it caused nightmares but never told why. Now I'd like to do some research and see if there's anything to it. As for talking in your sleep, that can be kind of fun.

My hubby frequently has whole conversations in his sleep and sometimes he sings. I can't make out what he's singing, but sometime I might record it to see if I can figure it out.

I had a dream about zombies that was so scary I woke up shaking and couldn't stop for several minutes :O - lyssavirus

Ah, zombies. Monsters for some reason never frighten me in dreams, in a lot of cases they make me laugh. I would never laugh at another's fears though - sometimes there's an underlying reason for that fear and it is totally valid.

Yes but they are about me being back in high school - beige4ever

Hey, that's a valid nightmare believe me. When I dream of high school, I'm always a kid again (the only good part) and trying desperately to get the attention and affection of a boy I had a crush on - never happens. That's the nightmare.

I am very pleased with the speed of the responses I have gotten and when more come in, if the people are willing I will print them here. It's both interesting and comforting to know that all of us have so much in common, whether we enjoy horror or not. Thank you to all those who allowed me to share their nightmares here - it was much appreciated.